Call of Duty Wii games - DS wants them

[Cretaceous]

My DS has just turned 11. I have said he can't have this game on principle, as I don't like war games. But most importantly, the COD series seem to be for age 15+. However, I've since discovered that just about every lad in his class has these games. And yesterday a girl in his class told him that even her brother in Year 4 plays it.

I'm a bit of an old dinosaur, hence my name. Do I need to lighten up? My DS is so good, polite, doesn't swear, is not at all aggressive and is kind to his sister. (He has plenty of faults in the dirt and mess areas, but they aren't relevant here!) Last night, he left a long persuasive letter on our pillow, ending "This is a wonderful opportunity, and a decision you will not regret, as prices [of old games] are down by about £5 now that COD7 is out!" He obviously thinks I'm an old miser

Has anyone let their children play this game? Is it really violent? What have you done? I can't really discuss the issues with my friends, as it's like I'm criticising them for allowing the game.

It is quite a violent game DH has it.
DS1 almost 14 has played it
DS2 age 9 is no way allowed to.

Is there anyway you could watch the game yourself to see if it is something you would feel comfortable letting your son play?

I think the trouble is that I don't want him to play it. But I also don't want him to feel the odd-one-out, and socially excluded, as it is a big thing among the boys.

I've let him play it at a friend's house, but the other boys think it - and perhaps by extension he - is a bit odd.

If you have/let him play it at a friends then I see no reason to not let him have it himself.

He's got a younger sister, so she'd want to see it if we had it at home. And I've only let him play once at a friend's before I realised what it was! (The mum said they'd be playing it, so I assumed it was harmless, and Call of Duty sounded quite a nice name!?!)

i am big bad mummy that only lets ds play age suitable games... ive also had a go told my mum that letting him sit and watch my brother play them is exactly the same as letting him play them!

Another big bad mummy here. My DS(7) has asked for games classified age 12 because all the other boys in his class have them. I have explained to DS why do not want him to play with them and he has taken this on board without too much fuss. IMO, I think it is important to show your DC that it is not necessary to go along with everything everyone else does. You obviously have different rules re appropriate games than other parents in your DS's class - stick to them! I think caving in because other parents do so can be a slippery slope.

mussyhillmum, I've always thought like that, but now I'm questioning my opinions. DS is small, square and a bit geeky. I would like him to fit in more, I guess. He doesn't really go along with things just because other children do - he doesn't like football, for example. In some ways that's a good thing. But in others, it means that you get left out.

I suppose in my mind is that this is something he'd like to play and that would fit in with (all the) other boys. Does that outweigh the fact that I don't like the game? Would it have a detrimental effect on him?

My 13 year old wants it and isn't getting it.

I've played it, the new one. There is a disclaimer at the beginning asking if you want to play a certain scene which may upset some people. It's a scene where you go around shooting civilians.
It's kind of hard to describe whether it is violent, it's not gory, but it's a war game so you do go round shooting people.
At the end of the day, it's entirely up to you whether you want to buy this for your son. By the sounds though, your son isn't going to turn into a nutter by playing the game. If you do buy it, you can always restrict the amount he plays it.
And if it's for the wii, are the controls using the movement sensor or just the buttons? Maybe the movement may encourage more violent behaviour? Just a suggestion.

I'd avoid it for as long as possible and hope that they move on to some other fad. My DP played it on the Playstation for a while and became slightly addicted; he found it really disturbing and it gave him a bad feeling; he felt very tense. He got rid of it once it reached the stage when all he could see were Nazis when he was trying to sleep. And he's 42! If your DS is nice I'd try and keep him that way. And Geeks are 'in' at the moment....

DH 43 plays them. Stick by your guns (no pun intended!) Not suitable for 11 year old that's why they have an age rating.
I am not a pacifist but I don't understand whay anyone would let their child play a graphic game which is all about killing.

He will have to learn to deal with being 'the odd one out' they get over it eventually...
btw I have a tiny geek too!

I would get it for him to play. It is quite violent so you would have to make sure he doesn't play it loads - limit the time. Absolutely don't let his little sister see it. It really would not be suitable for her. It doesn't necessarily have to have a detrimental effect on him. Just make sure that you limit the time he plays it. Also, make sure he doesn't play the airport section. You can skip it - it doesn't add/detract from the overall game.

I am quite with you on the not wanting him to be the odd one out at school. This happened to me when I was younger. I was the only girl who had laced-up shoes when I was younger and was teased quite a lot about this. I can still remember how horrible that felt and it was over 40 years ago.

It's all very well to be high-minded about only letting your children play age-appropriate games and sticking to your rules, but your children are the ones having to live with your decisions at school day-to-day.

My DS is 13.5 and I have just started to let him have certain 15 rated games - we have a look at them first and decide if they are suitable. The Call of Duty games are rated 16 or 18 so they aren't allowed. To be honest I don't find it difficult to say no and because he knows I mean it he doesn't push it. Once you have allowed one game to help him fit in what happens if the next one all his friends have is even worse - do you allow that one? I think you need to make a decision that fits in with what limits you want to put on the games he plays and not what other parents think.

I went through this with my now 14 year old DS. We decided for all the reasons for social fitting in to let him play the previous COD games when he was 11/12 and I promise they didnt turn him nasty. They were 15s.

This year he wanted the new COD (6) which is of course 18. He actually bought it without discussing with me so I took it back to the shop. Ultimately, once we had discussed it and framed it I did go and buy it for him. It's a higher rating because of the airport scene only which they tend to do once and then not bother with. Otherwise I dont think its any worse than the others.

You have to go by your own child's maturity, and from the letter he sent you he sounds very thoughtful. I tend to reward thoughtfulness.

Maybe you could let him have previous CODs, but not COD6, as I dont think its unreasonable to let a sensible 11 year old play a 15, but maybe give him something to look forward to when he is older and you can let him have COD6 etc? I like giving them something to look forward to!

Could you rent it, watch/play it together and then make your decision? If you can specify what makes you uncomfortable with it (rather than just the rating which can be widely arbitray I've found) then he can't moan you're being unfair (well he can, but then it's tough ).

Thank you for all those thoughts - it's really helpful. I hadn't analysed it before.

Yes, I don't think he'll turn into a nutter. I wouldn't want to play that sort of game myself, though, as I'm sure it'd have a bad effect on me. Interesting re DHs playing, too.

I was always the odd one out at school, but didn't really mind, as I thought it was more important to be true to your principles. But now I wonder, especially after what ILJJ says.

I'll have another chat with him, and see if there is something else he'd like instead to try and divert the issue. (He'll probably say an air rifle )

dont let him have it, you will loseyour child to constant gaming. seriously, every teenage boy i know owns this game.

This is such a difficult one - I have two DSs (both under two at the moment so not badgering me to play COD ), but I know it will be an issue in the future.

I'm relieved to see so many of you say no, and explain why, but the peer pressure argument is soooo strong.

On a separate note, as a teacher I was incredibly impressed with the note he left you!

My ds is 11 (yr 6) and so far hasn't mentioned it- don't think anyone at school has it.
I would say no and explain why - stick to your guns (pardon the pun). I have no problem wanting my dcs to fit in with peers etc- but there's a big difference between wearing the "in" shoes and playing a violent game which is inappropriate.

Do you think it is more of a desire not to be the odd one out at school or a real burning desire to play the game?

That would affect my decision on whether or not to buy it for my ds.
I often ask my dc this type of question and find it is quite helpful in getting the right sort of open discussion about my concerns and their feelings.

I am with all the big bad mummies. I think games like COD and Grand Theft Auto are utterly heinous. I don't blame you from trying to hold out on this. Like someone said, near enough ALL teenage boys closet themselves in a room with their headsets on, playing complete strangers and gunning down characters on a screen. Can't be good for them.

Noooo... don't do it. I let DS (10yo) play Modern Warfare at his cousin's house, but no way I'd him have it here.