To think that parents in playgroups should make sure their kids are behaving. (I'mso angry at the moment)

[GabrieleJ]

Went to playgroup in the morning. My little girl is 3 and usually she has really good time there.

Today she wanted to play in the kitchen area and there was another girl, that girl pushed her really hard and obviously my little girl got upset, and i wouldn't mind that cos kids do that and when they're toddlers it's hard to understand sharing. But that little girl was pushing all the kids around and taking toys from other kids and doing whatever she wanted... I didn't know who was her mother so couldn't really say anything, tried to talk to her but i don't think she cared. She basically made my girl cry 4 times in 15minutes.

I know it probably sounds so silly but i'm just so upset over this

Just say rather loudly "pushing is not nice" or similar...the parent is bound to cotton eventually. Remember they are 3!

who runs the group. inform them they will know who mother is.

YANBU for thinking her mum should have intervened.

However, the little girl is probably behaving the way she normally does, so you can't blame her.

I have a friend who allows her children to do things liek this (sits there demurely sayign "don't do that" and then laughing and calling them a little monkey!) Result, I don't see her much with the children there.

good advice from scurryfunge and monkeys!

also, hope your dd is okay now

YANBU, but this happens at all groups like this. It always will. THere will always be parents who don't believe that their child is anything other than an angel and just don't give a shit about the way they are behaving.

thank you, i know it's really not a big thing... i think i'm just having one of those days... too emotional over nothing

ugh I hate that sort of thing. I'm mortified if DD even snatches a toy - she gets told off and gives it back!

that's the problem with playgroups, the kids disappear while the mums chat and it's easy not to keep an eye on them. I do that too, sometimes it's the only chance you get for adult conversation, but I do constantly check DD is behaving reasonably well.

Infuriating I know but just think that this is good practice for preschool/school! Teach your DD to keep out of the way of children like this. Say something like, 'that is not nice behaviour, let's move over here until she is finished'.

moomaa just what I was thinking. I'd led a sheltered life, only meeting nice children, and school was a real eye-opener for me - I can still remember! It'll stand your child in good sted to meet different types of children. At least, that's what I used to tell myself when my children were pushed around.

Hope your day improves.

Just intervene.

You could always sit in the kitchen area and model some good roleplay with your daughter instead of leaving her alone. The other child will probably want to join in.

YANBU, though i sometimes think it is these kids that need to go most....and i find it harder to discipline dd in playgroup than at home (partly the feeling of being judged, partly that I can't just ignore her tantrums...)..a bit of understanding always goes aong way. Theres a LO at our playgroup who was pointed out for this reason...a year later LO's much better (though mum doesn't intervene, she's nice to talk to) and i like DD to play with them (as they seem to get on well) as she is quite pushy herself (though i do intervene when she is naughty)

i am always conscious that there are Mums at that playgroup who will judge me for my parenting, so try not to get too judgy myself.

By play group do you mean one with the parents stay as well or not ( here what people call pre-school or play group is a drop in nursery type of thing for children between the age of 2 and 4 as opposed to a toddler group where mums are present all the time) If it is a group with one parent present, I would expect they actually look after their own dcs. One incident can easily be overlooked even by the most zealous parent but 4 incidents in 15 minutes is quite a bit to miss IMHO.

One at every playgroup IME. I start off with "we are kind and gentle!" and move on to "please don't push" if it keeps happening. I've also moved my child to another activity if it's that bad.

If the carer isn't watching (grandparents can be really lax, don't know why) then you have to do something, I don't think any child should be allowed to push and snatch without being told it's not nice.

my dd is 14 months and has a big brother... she is very good at standing up for herself but can be al little pushy with other children, she will shove 2 year olds out of the way if she wants something... but shes my dd and i know she's like this so i watch her and make sure she is playing nicely, yanbu to expect the child mother to do this!