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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be disapointed at my husband and parents lack of interest in baby's kicks?

35 replies

OnEdge · 25/05/2010 06:59

This is my third pregnancy, and I am now 25 weeks, so the baby is doing some great kicks. I have invited my husband to come and feel her kicks and he can't be arsed to get up Likewise, when I am round at my mums I will balance the remote control on my bump and ask her to watch it move when the baby kicks. She pulls a slightly pained overly patient face and watches and then does a false "Oh!" When it moves and looks straight back at the TV.

Am I being a spoilt brat or am I right to feel disapointment at my family's lack of interest in my babe?

OP posts:
compo · 25/05/2010 07:02

Yabu

why on earth would your dh want to be woken up to feel the baby kick?

Your being a pregzilla, lol, must be hormones

SilveryMoon · 25/05/2010 07:03

When I was pregnant with my first, there was so much fuss and interest from everyone.
With my 2nd it was clear that my dp and my parents etc had calmed down a bit and although still interested, it wasn't the same as with the first.
It's kind of 'been there, done that' isn't it?
YANBU to be upset by it but I think it's just pretty normal.
Haver you told them how you feel? I would

skidoodly · 25/05/2010 07:10

I'm surprised you think they are interesting.

Lol @ pregzilla

Original poster
OnEdge · 25/05/2010 07:13

LOL at Pregzilla, I love it. I don't ask him to wake up to feel her, it involves him getting up off the sofa. He knows how I feel and laughs. So I have told him about the post and that I will show him any answers I get. I can't tell mum because it would cause a little mother daughter row thingy. Its the fact that they are so not arsed that bugs me. Bare in mind too that I lost my 1st baby at 22 weeks, so to get to 25 weeks is a thrill for me, even though it is my third.

OP posts:
MrsHarkness · 25/05/2010 07:13

I think its normal for partners/family to be less interested after the first pregnancy its like silverymoon says it's a case of 'been there done that' try not to be too upset and enjoy the wonders of pregnancy yourself

Original poster
OnEdge · 25/05/2010 07:17

Oh crap ! Husband very pleased at the response so far, I'm afraid Pregzilla might stick.

OP posts:
turtle23 · 25/05/2010 07:17

It does seem to be normal but I felt the same way. Nobody cares second time round. I kept a diary so that I could share these thoughts with the only person who cared.
May make a nice thing to read one day when DC have their own DC.
Go ahead and laugh at me everyone. I dont care!

Original poster
OnEdge · 25/05/2010 07:18

Skidooly I take it you have more than one

OP posts:
Original poster
OnEdge · 25/05/2010 07:22

Thats a clever idea turtle

OP posts:
ZZZenAgain · 25/05/2010 07:25

aw you enjoy your kicks anyway, never mind them.

I used to like lying in the bath and watching dd swim from one side to the other. My stomach would rise on one side and dip on the other. Also if I gnetly pushed a finger on the side where she was not, she would swim across to the other side and kick there. We had a lot of fun like that. Never mind dh, tell him to massage your feet or something useful.

ZZZenAgain · 25/05/2010 07:25

never thought of balancing a remote control on my bump though and watching it spring off!

lol

Original poster
OnEdge · 25/05/2010 07:28

He hates my feet, is physically repelled by them, would never willingly touch them. I might just take myself for a massage to cheer myself up

OP posts:
ZZZenAgain · 25/05/2010 07:30

are you other dc not excited about the kicks?

ZZZenAgain · 25/05/2010 07:30

I don't like feet either.

why though?

skidoodly · 25/05/2010 07:31

I think being made a big fuss of in pregnancy is a one shot deal. To me that was a blessed relief as I hated all the questions and excitement (never from dh, he was as uninterested first time as your dh is now ), but I can see how it must seem sad when you're feeling just as excited and nobody cares.

Pmsl @ turtle's diary for the only person who cared

OnEdge that is very rough about your first pregnancy. Hitting 24/25 weeks has felt like a big relief to me both times, must be much more so for you.

Original poster
OnEdge · 25/05/2010 07:34

I don't suppose I was as excited at the moment of conception third time round as I was at the first.

OP posts:
Original poster
OnEdge · 25/05/2010 07:36

daughter a bit too young at 3 to be able to wait for a kick and son 10 months. I used to have a freind at work during 1st pregnancy who would stare amazed at my bump through coffee break, I was spoilt I guess.

OP posts:
skidoodly · 25/05/2010 07:39

Sorry x-posts op. You are right, I have 2 dds. First time the kicks freaked me out, second time they annoyed me.

Loving ZZZenAg's bathtime fun. Maybe next time I'll try a bit of that.

diddl · 25/05/2010 08:03

I would be disappointed if my husband wasn´t interested, but not my parents tbh.

deaddei · 25/05/2010 08:05

I actually used to feel a bit sick when I saw dcs kick- felt a bit like Alien.
I understand why no one else is remotely interested!!!

skidoodly · 25/05/2010 08:06

deaddei me too, exactly

WingedVictory · 25/05/2010 08:39

Ahhh, what fun you are having. It's a shame your family is too "grown up" to enjoy it. They are dullards! Not terribly sensitive, either, if they don't acknowledge how exciting it is to see evidence of such a lively baby, after your cruel disappointment the first time.

I was just remembering yesterday how DS used to tickle my stomach from underneath!

NorkyButNice · 25/05/2010 08:48

DH is pretty uninterested too - if he's sat next to me on the sofa I'll grab his hand if the baby's having a workout but I wouldn't expect him to get up and cross a room to feel!

To balance it though, my Mum is obsessed and leaps across the room every time I touch my stomach so she can have a grope. It's very annoying I promise you!

pollywollywoowah · 25/05/2010 08:51

1st preg - I was treated like a china doll. DH wouldn't let the cat jump into my tummy for example.

2nd preg - workhorse. Huffing and puffing and if I asked him to put bins out, carry ds up to bed etc

I gather this is not uncommon sadly.

LOL @ pregzilla

megonthemoon · 25/05/2010 08:58

My DH has been largely disinterested both times - puts hand on tummy for precisely 3 milliseconds then says "he/she always stops kicking when I go near" then doesn't try again for another 3 weeks...

TBH I'm okay with that. I would hate it more to feel like I was being groped all the time so if he was enthusiastic and placing a hand on me every god damn time he was near, I'd be kicking him myself

I like to feel the baby wriggling myself every so often, just as reassurance, but can't stand being kicked continually. Fortunately this baby (at 24 wks) is way lazier more relaxed than DS was.

YANBU to feel like you do, but YABU to expect everyone else to up their excitement to match yours. So long as they'll be good with you and the baby once he/she arrives, that's the main thing.