I am really struggling with my mother and need to know if this is me or her.
She has always been a really dominant and, what I would describe, as pretty dogmatic woman (although at heart she really means well). I always put up with it until recently when I had DS (now 11 1/2 months) I decided I needed to be more assertive with her because it would not be good for my relationship with DS - I figure how could he respect a mother who could not even stand up to her own mother.
Anyway, the past year has been a trial in our relationship. First of all I had to tell her to butt out when she was telling me what I should be doing with him and more recently it has felt as though she has been avoiding me / doesn't actually want to see me or him.
Fast forward to now: She hasn't seen him on his own for approx 2 months and has said I should separate myself from him because he is getting separation anxiety (I feel he cries because he doesn't know her well enough); She booked to go away for the weekend of DS' birthday (in isolation I could understand); She was meant to be babysitting him tomorrow but has blown me out for about the millionth time for my sister (in sister's defence she needs more help than I do as she has twins); she has now booked a week for us to go away to Cornwall without agreeing the location first. I told her this evening it was a really long way and I was thinking of going by train / plane to Newquay and she really laid into me and told me I was spoiling DS (I will also be nearly 6 months pregnant at time of travelling).
I am really struggling to deal with her and am on the verge of giving up trying to be adult and reverting to my old techniques of ducking issues just for an easy life.
AIBU for getting annoyed by her. Would IBU for reverting to excuse making.