in thinking the A&E person

[JaxTellersOldLady]

was insinuating that I hurt my daughter? In a passive aggressive way!

Ok, tonight I had people coming for an early dinner (godparents of DC) after school activities and was hot and bothered. Hadnt had a very good day, puppy trashed the paddling/swimming pool, aircon broke in the car, so generally I was looking forward to a cool shower before everyone got here to eat.

Told DD not to close her top window in her bedroom and that I would do it later. I had closed her curtains to keep the heat out but opened the window to let the breeze in. I also said that I would be up in her room in a minute to fix the handle on her little wardrobe as it had fallen off (again)...

So, she comes screaming downstairs about 2 minutes after getting home, and has ripped her thigh open on the screw that she wasnt to go near while closing the window that she wasnt to close. Anyway, after calling Dr and being told to take her to A&E the nurse practioner said

"oh, you have been here 5 times already!"

well she is 7 and personally I think that isnt so bad! So, I just laughed and said "yes, our family has a season ticket" and DD proceeds to tell nurse that DS split his head open with a baseball bat and burst his nose with a tennis ball 2 weeks ago (true, but all this happened while at school, doing PE)

AIBU to think that her comment was unnecessary? SAid to DH that no doubt SS will be informed! They can pop round here any day they like.

Bloody hell, this should be rant alert! so sorry. off out for a walk with the dog to cool down (and sneak a ciggie)

YABU and a bit oversensitive!

oh dear hope tomorrow gets better

YABU. It was just a statement of fact.

also agree with Missus.

They don't inform social services, they send a note to your health visitor, they do this for everyone no matter how often they attend.

Unless she said it in a really accusatory manner, I agree you are being a little oversensitive. It's all in the tone of voice. One time I took ds to A&E when he was little, I explained anxiously that the bruises on his legs (unrelated to the injury for which we were seeking help) were because he'd been playing out a lot in the nice weather. A&E doc smiled and told me not to be too anxious, he'd be more worried if he saw a small child with no bruises at all as it would mean they hadn't been running about enjoying themselves.

It is just one of those things that us nurses say when we are trying to make conversation and it was probably meant in a 'you've been in the wars eh?' way rather than accusing you of anything, because if they thought you really had done something to your DD, she wouldn't have mentioned it at all.

They have to be careful i suppose. They must see some terrible things and i'm sure they can spot the accident prone from the abused.

When i broke my ankle falling down the stairs i went in the ambulance and DH followed after finding someone to have DCs. I was asked pointedly three times by nurses if i wanted him to join me in the cubicle when he arrived. I found it odd at the time (off my face on morphine too) but looking back they were looking out for me.

lol, havent seen a health visitor in years! Wouldnt even know who it is to be honest.

DD is ok, she is like humpty dumpty, glued and steri stripped back together again with a huge dressing over the top of her thigh. She got ice cream for being a brave girl, but is more upset about not being able to swim tomorrow at school.

I also hope tomorrow is better. It WILL be better.

YABU, but understandably after such a bad day.

maybe it was the tone, it wasnt said in a you've been in the wars way, actually she wasnt very comforting at all to DD, maybe she was hot and bothered too.

Maybe people had refused to see her as she was a Nurse Practitioner - and she asked if we minded seeing her instead of a Dr, to which I said no, not at all.

Oh well, tomorrow is another day - she wasnt local so maybe she is doing a stint in A&E and moving on.

thanks pozzled - I dont mind being told that IABU, especially if you can understand why!

They only call ss if DC attends a and e 3 times in a 2 week period with what could be suspicious injuries.

A few months ago I went 3 times in 8 days!!!

DS 5 falls off bench at disco can't open mouth etc - luckily just a very bruised cheek and jaw.

3 days later falls at after school club and put's tooth through lip. After bleeding for hr take to a and e. Luckily no stitches!!

4 days later sliding down mid sleeper bed (at home) loses balance and takes chunk out of foot on a toy. Very deep cut and can't/won't walk on it.

Cue next trip to a and e. Nurse says minimumber not you again what have you been up to now. She mentions I look worried and I explain I'm upset and worried bout frequent visits. They offer to make me a tea etc leave dS with nurse. Turns out they asked him about injuries etc but that was the end of it!!!

Mumbar relaxes

I would advise ensuring accident forms are kept when injuries happen elsewhere you never know when they may be useful.

YANBU on the account I have experienced this paranoia myself and know it feels accusing - but I'm sure it wasn't.

YANBU, the comment wasnt helpful, but possibly you are slightly oversensitive at the moment. I have a similarly disaster prone daughter, who is 4 next month and has so far this year broken her arm, concussed herself and had stitches in her hand for a cut. I have had health visitor ring once, and visit once, but I really do appreciate their visits, because it means that somewhere out there they will hopefully be spotting and helping those children who are really being abused rather than just having the survival skills of a lemming.

lol at lemming survival skills!!!

(altho i appreciate that you were making a serious point)

yes mumbar my DD sounds much like your DS. Whenever we go on holiday the first thing I do is find out where the nearest Doctor and Hospital is. Not being paranoid, she is the most accident prone child that I know! Forever getting JTs daughter grazed/bumped her head/knee/elbow/nose/any other part of body you can think of notes home from school! We have had sprained ankles and suspected broken ankle while on holiday and visited A&E twice while in Scotland. She is a nightmare.

btw, how is dd? Sounds like a nasty injury. But maybe she'll work out that just sometimes, when Mummy says 'don't do X', it's for a good reason...

Try being me...

Easter Sunday night, about 11pm - we had been away all weekend & dh had been drinking with my brother in law during the a/noon.

When we get home, ds trips & falls, splitting his head on an open drawer (that I had left open!) We take him to A&E - except dh can't come, as he's had too muc to drink, so another BIL comes with me for moral support....

DS had stitches, nurse says she's going to eat his Easter eggs etc.. & I explain that he's usually in bed at this time, but as it was a holiday & we were visiting relatives, he was allowed to stay up later.

The following Sunday we were out on a day trip. In front of 100's of people, ds tripped going UP some steps & split the same part of his head - que another trip to A&E, guess what, same nurse!! But I had a different man with me! (DH!!)

So, not only does she think I am a incompetent mother, she thinks I ride half the country

edam DD is fine, I do think she will end up with a scar on the top of her thigh though, poor thing. It is about 4 inches long and pretty deep at the top.

How I will manage to keep it dry for 5-7 days in this heat i dont know, but will try. Her knees look like she has battled with every piece of tarmac and gravel path between London to Glasgow and have scars all over them.

The godparents arrived, saw the blood and mess helped themselves to dinner, chatted and looked after DS and DD and I went to hospital.

I would like to think that DD will think twice before she decides to do as she pleases uses her initiative, but I doubt it.

I did think "oh fuck" when she told the nurse that "Mummy said not to shut the window but I wanted to" Nurse said "How did you manage to do reach to do that?" DD said "I have a cabin bed, so I moved my ladders and used them to climb up"

thanks fairheaded - you just made me laugh!

kids eh, who'd have 'em???

yes fairheded I laughed too!!

Jax my DS cracked his head open the day before we went camping - it rained for 2/3 days and he had to wear his bright orange swimming cap under a baseball cap to keep it dry!! The piccys that will come out at his 18th!!

DS (5) climbed his mid sleeper today and opened bedroom window (to let out a fly) after I told him off 10 mins earlier for doing same in the dining room. I told him he would die if he fell out hoping this has desired effect!?

Actually i'm surprised the only a and e trips i've had are the 3 mentioned above and 2 others in total!! He's like your DD averaging 1 a year!!!!

I love the injury notes I actually worry if I don't get 3 a week that somethings wrong!!!

ah yes the injury notes! I think they might start a whole book just for DD! She showed her teacher her dressing this morning, told her what happened. Teacher shook her head and said "could only have been you" so I am not alone in thinking DD is a giant accident waiting to happen!

My DS1 has been a LOT more than that - and he's only 5.

When he broke his leg (aged 10 months) the doctor accusingly told me that 10 month old babies can't walk, and that the injury was not caused by falling down the stairs but by being flung against a wall. . He told me this while my baby was lying on a bed in Resus, with an incompetent fool trying and failing to site an IV (so blood everywhere) before he had had morphine, and while he was going into severe shock.

I am to say I fainted. I cannot believe that that is accepted practice - to accuse a parent in that situation. Just thinking about it makes me feel sick!

So anyway. You are probably NBU because as parents, I think we are all pretty paranoid about being accused of hurting our kids! But she probably didn't mean it.

There are no hard and fast rules about when families get discussed with SS. However it is the responsibility of staff to think about child protection (or protection of vulnerable adults). Certain things are "red flags" though and will trigger further questions.

However the difficult issue is that child abuse happens and it happens even in nice homes. Thus the sad reality is that in order to detect it difficult questions need to be asked of lots of (innocent) families. It is never nice to think that you are being accused of harming your child but it truly is for the greater good.

I'm sorry you felt accused and i'm sure that HCP (myself included) in child protection work could sometimes word our questions more carefully. Stress (and possible child protection issues are stressful for staff) can make folk make the most terrible gaffes. I know I've been there . I sincerely hope that patients involved aren' scarred mentally for life.