about telling a twelve year old...

[StuckInTheMiddleWithYou]

that she cannot go on a family holiday as she would be "a bad influence" on her cousins.

I think this is horrendous. A friend of mine is chewing herself to bits over this. She's a single mum, nasty divorce, DD acting up a bit admidtedly. However, both she and I feel that her BIL telling the child, in front of everyone that she could not come, is terrible. No discussion or mention of this with my friend before hand. Nada.

Bizarrely, the family is somehow expecting my friend to still want to go...

that's awful

What exactly do they expect your friend to do with her DD?!

Sounds quite nasty. What would be gained by telling a child that?

let me guess - BIL has younger children and no great traumas in their lives

she needs to phone him up and ask him just what the hell he thinks he's doing bullying and demeaning a child in public in this way and how the hell is he going to make amends

twat

you got it activate.

I don't understand this at all.

I think they expect her to be left with her father, which could work but that's not the point.

Some people!!

Right, rant over.

Well that was a very cruel thing to do. How did the girl react?

eugh no YANBU they are

YANBU

They sound like a bunch of nasty tossers.

The girl is making a big show of not caring. Very, very sad.

she is a child...
Hope she grows up to discover the cure for cancer and her cousin become smack addicts

Oh how rude. Did BIL ever think being cared and loved or by adults is what she needs. I'm in no doubt her mum and dad love her loads but she'll be feeling insecure and needs reassurance.

at BIL

oh dear. Poor girl. Did you friend say something?

This is awful. The 12 year old needs to know that whatever the BIL says, her own mother would not exclude her from a family holiday.

Hopefully the mum can plan some fun things to do with her instead.

That poor child. How awful. How dare that man say something like that to her?

They think her mother is going to go on a holiday her 12 year old daughter has been publicly disinvited from?

They sound completely horrible.

If someone did that to a 12 year old I loved I would completely cut them off.

I'm actually hurting for your friend and her DD!

BIL would be getting a very cold shoulder from me for a very long time.

Poor kid

I am assuming mum won't be going either.

That's so awful, i would be so fuming! Did your friend say anything back to her bil at the time to show her dd that she didn't agree?

My parents got divorced when I was 11 it's a hideous age to go through it, I certainly acted up, and this 'rejection' from another adult male in her family will really hurt her, poor thing .

I honestly just don't understand how some people go through life without a care for other peoples feelings

Wanker of the highest order.
Your friend defo needs to ring all who were present and tell them esp. bil that her and her daughter deserve an apology for the cruel way he spoke to them. What an example to his children indeed. I wouldn't want him to be any kind of example to my children.

Is he your bil or ex brother?

nob

I know it takes all sorts to make this world but that anyone could be that mean to a child! The poor girl, 12 is such a hard age even without a divorce to deal with. Hope her mum stands up for her and makes her feel special.