Yes, I know I am very very old but since when was it considered acceptable to write business letters like this?

[bibbitybobbityhat]

"Dear Mr xx,

Lucky you! You've just started a Pay Monthly contract with Virgin Mobile. Now here's our Pay Monthly joining pack to help you make the most of it.

It containes all the essentials for setting up your phone or Mobile Broadband, a few ways to have some fun, and some info (sic) on where to get help if you need it."

I mean, REALLY.

I'm not old but I too hate this stuff. My first name is a little bit unusual and most people have no idea how to begin pronouncing it. And they never look before they ring, they're obviously just thrown into each call. It's quite amusing because now they phone up and instead of asking for "Miss OhE" they ask to speak to "Er ... desperate attempt to pronounce seemingly unpronounceable word ... hopeful pause ... second floundering attempt ... I'm sorry, how do you pronounce your first name?". I just ask them if they're looking for Miss OhE, and tell them it's me speaking [bitch]

As for Virgin, my new best mates ... ugh.

and those who assume that because they want to speak Mr XX then you must be Mrs XX

no, actually, i'm not married and i have my own name.
don't start talking to me like you know me just because i've answered the phone instead of Mr XX

I had a phone call the other evening from my credit card company that went like this
ME;Hello
CC:Hi There, am I talking to XXXX
ME: You are
CC:Fantastic!!I'm calling from Mastercard... How r you doin today?
ME; O.k Thanks
CC: Awesome!!
ME:Click..........Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr........

Nickelbabe that happens to me all the time too. I don't even bother to correct them I just say, "sorry there's nobody of that name here," and hang up. They always pronounce his surname wrong anyway!

And don't get me started on the over-friendly, over-familiar sales calls

ya so nbu. i hate those matey style letters! i am not your mate!!!

I used to work for Vodafone in the business part and we used to have to call callers by their first name. Made me cringe. used to slip it in at the end of a call ala "thanks for your call Andrew" just so I hit that stupid target but without making myself too embarressed.
I much prefer speaking with my bank (natwest) who call me Mrs Surname. Much more British I think!

I'm with you all the way, in that I find this faux-mateyness awful, BUT I suspect there's a good reason why mobile companies etc do this.

There's some software which reads your letter/handout whatever and puts it into language appropriate to a 10 (? might be 9) year old, which is what the reading age of The Sun is. We tried this at school - we'd been doing some Family Learning events and it was the same families who turned up every time. So the next handout went through the software, the language was simplified, different families showed up and far more people. Just slight teaks in the phrasing and vocabulary were enough to get a better response.

No you aren't wrong.

I also hate it when they put your full name in a letter like

'Dear Mrs Niecie Thingie

Just seems wrong to me. Not the way I was taught to write letters.

The over familiar cold callers are maddening. Like the ones who start the conversation with 'Hello! How are you today?'

And you are thinking who the hell are you? They get a very cautious sounding 'fine' before I hear where they are from so I can hang up on them with a clear conscience. Maybe one day I should regale them with the most embarrassing symptoms I can think of, tell them I am off to the doctors and hang up before they even get the chance to say who they are.

Had some bloke phone last week who told me I had time to spare to speak to him about some survey. Didn't even bother to ask. Nice.

and I object to random phone calls from the bank when they then say "can we just verify some security questions?".

Er you called me on my mobile and I answer my mobile by saying my name.

And all your literature says not to divulge personal info over the phone.

"so no, fuck off and write to me".

Oh god yes! I also hate the 'and how are you today Mrs X' as if they are your GP.

I am afraid I tend to give them a very long winded explanation as if I actually am a very old and dim witted person. If you start with 'well I'm glad you asked, today the postman bought me a bill which was a bit of a bugger as I have no money and then I went to see my GP about my piles, honestly they are so big now they look like Maltesers....' this normally completely throws them, but if it doesn't I end with 'well it's been lovely chatting with you but I must go now, have a lovely day, bye bye!'

They think you are tonto and never phone back!

LeQueen, MrQueen is a man after my own heart!! I had been known to reject graduates on the basis of grammatical and spelling mistakes in their CVs. I cut them some slack if English is not their first language but, since they will have to write reports frequently when working in my area, I cannot afford to proof-read everything before they send it out.

It's infuriating. Just infuriating.

I had the misfortune of having to phone Microsoft because there was a problem with Windows 7 Activation on my computer.

It was one of the most headache inducing 'conversations' I have ever had to endure. The technician was so ingratiating and Uriah Heep-like, ("Thank you again for your patience, Madam, we just appreciate and value it so much at Microsoft"), that I wanted to bite his head off.

Knowing it was "corporate value" training and not his fault kept my tongue in check, but, God! it was a draining experience.

Oh yes Bigbadmummy they annoy me no end when they phone you and then ask for security. I have put the phone down on many of them because they just don't get it when I say I am not divulging information to them because I don't know who they are.

If I get more than one person asking for something I've freecycled, I give it to the most gramatically correct and polite person.

whomovedmychocolate Tue 25-May-10 17:09:25
"Oh god yes! I also hate the 'and how are you today Mrs X' as if they are your GP.
I am afraid I tend to give them a very long winded explanation as if I actually am a very old and dim witted person. If you start with 'well I'm glad you asked, today the postman bought me a bill which was a bit of a bugger as I have no money and then I went to see my GP about my piles, honestly they are so big now they look like Maltesers....' this normally completely throws them, but if it doesn't I end with 'well it's been lovely chatting with you but I must go now, have a lovely day, bye bye!'"

You do realise you made me laugh so much, I've just spat tea all over my laptop?!

Sorry Betsy

I heart Mr LeQueen. I was taught by Dominican nuns and we had to pray in Latin and woe betide the person who waxed ungrammatical.

Oh, whomoved, I thought I was the only one who wound people up like that!

I've been doing it for years. It's especially here because I have a foreign accent.

I start winding them up, telling them I'm new in town and lonely and what's to do socially? Do you have a girlfriend? Where are you? When do you finish your shift? Can I call you?

LOL. I do it all with a straight face whilst DH is creasing himself in the background.

Or I start telling them I am desperate for some marijuana and where can I get some? Do they know anyone?

I quite like it when telesales people ask me how I am and have a bit of a joke with me. But that may be cos I don't get many phone calls