to get annoyed at DP giving my stuff away?

[Butterpie]

A couple of years back I saved up and bought myself a creative zen mp3 player. I don't use it very often, tbh, as if I leave the house I generally have the DDs or DP with me and it would be rude to listen to music. I do, however, use it sometimes on long journeys and my much valued and rare breaks and use the features like video clips and so on. I have a music player on my phone but it wears the battery down quickly and isn't as good.

Anyway, DPs parents are going on holiday, their MP3 player has broken so I said I would nip home and get mine that they could borrow, I would load some music on it that they would like. When i got home DP was on the "big" computer that has all the music and so on, so he loaded up the MP3 player. I haven't so much as plugged the player in, apart from to charge it, for ages as it had my music on, iyswim.

His mum came round and I gave her the player, showed her how to work it and so on. She said she hoped she didn't break it or anything, I said oh don't worry if you do (I'm not about to get angry at her for accidentally breaking something!) and then DP said "in fact, you might as well keep it, Butterpie hasn't used it in years".

AIBU to be a bit peed off at that? OK, I don't use it very often, but then his mum would use it even less, and anyway it is my toy! I choose if I give it away!

Luckily his mum is wise to his ways and looked at me and said "no, it is butterpies and she might need it". Was a bit awkward though.

Bit petty I know, but AIBU? Or is what mine his (and by extension his mums)?

No way is he minimalist, I'd say he has communist tendancies (in fact, he would be annoyed by the "tendancies" in that description)

If anything, I do think he is a little bit autistic (admittedly in my very basic idea of autism, so apoligies if it is wrong). He really does find it very hard to work out what other people are thinking, he is brilliantly outgoing and loud, but has no close friends. He is extremely clever, anyone who knows him remarks on that, he wins nearly every quiz he enters, but he won't finish a university course, always over bizarre things.

He has an odd, very "male" memory, ie he can name all the states of america, their mascots, capitals, mottos and so on, all the kings and queens of england, quote whole episodes of tv shows, knows endless things about comic books and tv shows (he won his episode of mastermind), and so on, but finds it really hard to remember entire conversations with actual people.

He really is lovely, but infuriating. He will go out of his way to do something for someone, but it has to be a "thing" if you get what I mean, ie he will today the house top to bottom, dress and feed the kids, etc, but finds it really hard to, say, visit someone just to say hi when they are having a hard time or whatever.

I was starting to think that maybe it was my hoarding that was unreasonable though, good to hear it's not me that is odd!

lol mak, I like that plan!

so he does practical ok but not emotional - doesn't connect with people well. I suppose he could have ASD tendencies - I have a friend whose (now ex) H was diagnosed with Aspergers at 30 so it's not unfeasible.

You have asked him to ask you prior to giving anything away before, haven't you - and it's not registering - so you need to find a way to TELL him that makes sense to him and will stick in his memory. Perhaps write it down for him if conversations elude him (or that could just be convenient). Put postits all over your stuff saying MINE! KEEP IT!

Also - make sure you phrase the telling in the positive, i.e. say "you must ask first" and "I want to decide whether or not to keep my things". If you use negatives (like "don't" do whatever) his brain may miss out the "don't" and take it on board that he is free to do the very thing you don't want him to. People's brains do work like this, some more than others.

It needs to be stopped before he starts on your DDs' stuff - they might never forgive him if he gives away some childhood treasure.