to think that this is taking the piss?

[HappySlapper]

So here's the thing. I separated from dh a week and a half ago. It was his idea, to have a trial separation, but I have been unhappy in the marriage for some time - so I agreed immediately. And I knew that it wouldn't be a trial.

A week later he asked to try again and I said no. It will never work, and the way our relationship has been over the last couple of years, I can't quite believe that he thinks it would.

He is heartbroken. He sends me constant texts telling me he loves me - consequently, I am laden with guilt. But I also know this is the right decision.

He offered me money for our son, and I refused, telling him that he can wait a while until he gets a deposit together for somewhere to live. So now I see on facebook that he's out on the piss tonight... and he told me that he was working today, so couldn't see our son - and he was lying.

I'm so pissed off. Part of me wants to lose it with him, and the other half knows I should engage. Is he taking the piss? Or should I allow him some time to settle down?

there isn't an excuse for not seeing your child, even if you no longer want to exist, you still do it.
I would leave this one, and if it happens again let him know its not on.
Your son shouldn't have to pay for this mess.

Sounds as if he realises he has made a mistake and is regretting it. He's now trying to get over it, in a manly fashion - by going out and getting hammered.

I'd just let him get it out of his system and as you say let things settle down.

Hope you are okay too.

Of course I meant shouldn't engage

He's had him a few times already since we split OTTMummA It's not because he's too unhappy to have him. He just wanted to go out on the lash, clearly.

That's what I thought heymango I should allow him some time to get his head round it, shouldn't I?

Yes, I do think that he was calling my bluff. And it's blown up in his face. I do feel for him, of course I do, but he's not going to get away with being a dick.

you need to get it sorted with a solicitor - agreed times for him to have his son.

refusing money? well i wouldn't have done that for a start.

I know, custardo, but it's such early days. I just want to try and do this as amicably as possible. I earn more than him, and I can manage ok for a couple of months until he gets on his feet. I'm just trying to be reasonable.

But - unless he actually doesn't know me at all.... he should know that I won't be reasonable indefinitely.

Yes, I reckon he will soon start missing your son if he doesn't see him, and he sounds like he is a decent Dad, if not your ideal husband? (Don't know where I got that impression - correct me if I'm wrong!)

He's just trying a new tactic to get you back.

He is a good dad, heymango. To his son, anyway. To my daughter, not so much. Which is part of the issue.

It's just one of those things that happens. I don't love him anymore. I can't go back.

Sorry to hear that, happy. Hope you get through it ok.

He didn't post on facebook by accident- he posted so you would see it, probably to try and provoke a reaction from you.

I think it could just be part of the grieving process for him IYSWIM- as others have said, let him get on with it this time as it is early days, but pull him up on it if it becomes habitual.