holiday dilemma...

[AliGrylls]

Bit of AIBU and WWYD.

My mum asked my sister and I, earlier on this week if we would like to go on a girlie holiday with her to the coast, citing Dorset as the holiday destination.

At the time I was feeling quite up for it as Dorset is approx 2 hours drive from where we live and I thought child friendly.

Anyway, today she called me and informed me that she had booked a cottage in the depths of Cornwall (I think it will be approximately 6 hours drive). Additionally, she said why don't you bring DH.

DS is going to be 13 months (he is also a very energetic child) at time of holiday and I will be approx 6 months PG. Also, she has booked it right in the middle of the school holidays, on a Saturday, so I am sure the traffic in the UK's most popular holiday destination will be really bad.

I don't want to upset her by saying that a 6 hour drive was not what I had in mind and I don't want to go but it has really put me off. Would I be unreasonable for saying it is too far and I now don't want to go? Also, would you do the drive like this with a toddler unless you had too?

Eek, god no.

I would simply tell her that it's too far for you to be travelling while that pregnant. Sitting in a car for so long will be uncomfortable at best, and so it's a good and valid excuse. I've stopped going in a car for anything more than half-hour journeys myself. (32wks today)

Also, I do agree that Cornwall will be a nightmare. My mum and siblings have lived there for a few years, and the tourism is already driving them nuts come summer time. You'll be looking at hours sitting in traffic wherever you go - not great if you're pregnant and have a small child, who, let's face it, is far too young to really appreciate a holiday anyway. He's just going to get bored in the car and cry all the time.

Find a nice way of saying it to your mum, but I would definitely duck out of it. Blaming your pregnancy is the way I would go.

I would leave them to travel on the saturday... goodness I have left the midlands at 3am and the traffic on the M5 at 4 am was busy but moving - by 9am it is solid.

Then I would get up on sunday morning around 5am little one will sleep that early and drive in the cool and quiter traffic - most people travel on a saturday as it is saturday to saturday for caravan and cottage etc.

tehn see if you can come back on the friday and watch out for bristol - try to avoid or leave really late in the day and let little one sleep

Saturday is generally 'change over day' in Cornwall, where one lot of tourists vacate their holiday lets and the next lot arrive. Horrendous traffic. Better to go down a day earlier or later.

As for the long journey itself, if you really want to go (which it doesn't sound like you do) you can always break the journey every hour for a break and a stretch of the legs. Just make the travel a part of your holiday.

Depends where in Cornwall you are going really, and if you do A38 or A30, the latter being a better road, and not so clogged.

I'm not entirely sure where in Cornwall it is. In some ways it is typical of my mum - she doesn't discuss things with people and just goes ahead and books thinking that it will all be rosy.

This has got on my wick primarily because of the difference in Devon and Cornwall. Oh my goodness - I am whingeing.

Why don't you take DH if she has suggested it ?
We have travelled on the motorway to get to cornwall about 5am and it has been quite clear.

i would say no thanks & arrange your own with dh & ds which is nearer distance & more convenient

I would go, I'm around 31 wks pregnant and provided we travelled at a sensible time it wouldn't bother me. And we have two (slightly) crazy dogs to factor in! But I guess that isn't helpful to you as we're all different.

I think my parents would prob do the same thing, not through selfishness just through not realising. I think it is really nice that you're looking to holiday together and that with a little adjustment in terms of departure times etc it should be fine. We travel down to Cornwall fairly regularly (from SE Dorset) and it really isn't as bad as people think it is provided you avoid typical 'rush hours' and go prepared.

YANBU it sounds like a nightmare. I'd explain it's too far a car journey for your LO and for you, you had agreed to Dorset as it was much closer.
If it's a family holiday surely the family should choose the destination together? YANBU.

I think your mother meant well and yes I agree a 6 hour journey whilst pregnant with a toddler isn't ideal but it is do-able. As others have said can't you break it up (find interesting places to stop on way) or even drive 3 hours one day, stop overnight in a b&B and do 3 hours the next day.

I think YABalittleU and I would go.

YANBU to be annoyed, changing location when it involves such a long drive is not on.

However to be fair to your mum perhaps she doesn't understand the distances involved and you had already agreed to a holiday with them in that neck of the woods.

Therefore I would try to avoid peak traffic by going on the Sunday but I would go this time, but make it clear that next time you will not agree in advance without knowing exactly where the cottage will be.

Just found out it is in North Cornwall. It doesn't sound too bad. I checked on the Michelin website and apparently is about a 4 1/2 hour drive. If I can convince her to leave later on the Saturday, maybe around DS' bedtime or Sunday then I will definitely go. What are the worst times?