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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that actually, DP is the twat, not me

36 replies

jendaisy · 21/05/2010 22:56

Just a bit of a rant really.

I am 30 weeks pg, but HUGE, people are horrified when I tell them I still have 10 weeks to go as I look ready to pop.

My back hurts and I am constantly knackered, which has been loads worse today due to the mugginess and the heat.

I had to go into town after DD finished school today, and was going to then take her to Pizza Hut at around 6pm before dropping her off with her father. I told DP that this was the plan, and asked if he wanted to come, and he said no because he hates Pizza Hut. Got to say, not my number one choice of eaterie either but this was about DD, not me.

So anyway, got back at about 7.30pm, feeling dead on my feet, I really did feel like I was going to fall into a heap due to lugging this bump around in the heat all day. While I had been gone DP had hoovered the whole house and tidied up, obviously much appreciated by me. The first thing DP said to me was 'I'm starving.' I said that as he well knew, I had already eaten. Brief and fairly pleasant conversation about other topics followed. Then he told me how starving he was again, and I said 'Look, my back is killing me and I can barely stand up, if you want something to eat then go and get something'. To which he replied 'You're such a twat'. Then stormed off and slammed the door to one of the living rooms and I haven't seen him since. I think his rationale is that because he had hoovered I should cook him dinner. Is he BU or am I?

OP posts:
Tortington · 21/05/2010 23:00

he is deffo the twat.

one good deed doesnot preclude another.

so he hoovered ver nice indeed but i presume he lives there/

i also presume he could fork out for a bag of chips on a friday night.

he is behaviing in utmost twattish behaviour and you should kick him in the manjo immediatley - then tell him to grow the fuck up anf fuck the fuck off

HecateQueenOfWitches · 21/05/2010 23:01

No he is being unreasonable. I HATE blokes who feel that they have the right to be waited on hand and foot.

It makes me want to scream WE'RE NOT CHIEF COOK AND BOTTLE WASHER JUST BECAUSE WE'VE GOT TITS!!

Word of warning though. Nip it in the bud or you'll have a terrible time of it. His belief that you should have made food for him is ridiculous. He's not a child and you're not his mother. Was he waiting there, hungry, for The Woman to come back and cook some food for him? [boggle]

Tortington · 21/05/2010 23:01

he is deffo the twat.

one good deed doesnot preclude another.

so he hoovered ver nice indeed but i presume he lives there/

i also presume he could fork out for a bag of chips on a friday night.

he is behaviing in utmost twattish behaviour and you should kick him in the manjo immediatley - then tell him to grow the fuck up anf fuck the fuck off

Pancakeflipper · 21/05/2010 23:01

He is being silly. He knew you were out having a meal so therefore not going to be eating at home.

Now my OH would take full advantage and go and get himself a takeaway....

lagrandissima · 21/05/2010 23:01

He's being a bit unkind really - to call you a twat and not actually just say what's hacked him off.

Is he usually verbally abusive, or has something happened to really upset him?

LeninGrad · 21/05/2010 23:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HecateQueenOfWitches · 21/05/2010 23:02

Very strange, Lenin

I am Hungry, woman. Attend to me.

winnybella · 21/05/2010 23:02

Twat, twat, twat.

Him, not you.

WTF? Just because he hoovered he expects his heavily pg and tired dp to cook for him?

Is he joking?

JackBauer · 21/05/2010 23:04

DO you even need an answer?

He is a twat of the Order of High Twattery.

worldgonemad72 · 21/05/2010 23:06

hmm this is going on at my house right now,my dh keeps mentioning how peckish he is, i just keep saying are you, hes said it 3 times now

StewieGriffinsMom · 21/05/2010 23:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Bobbalina · 21/05/2010 23:06

He's being quite spoilt if not downright abusive here, does he really mean you are a twat not to get up and cook for him?

Suggest you stay in bed most of the weekend to recharge whilst he is at home

Original poster
jendaisy · 21/05/2010 23:07

Ah good, I thought it was him!

He is a Romany gypsy and had a bit of an old fashioned view of what a woman's role is. Thankfully, this seems to only extend to cooking as he is great with doing housework. But he definitely sees the cooking as my job, and I have come to the conclusion in the past that it's not worth arguing over and just cooked, but that's when I am eating too! I don't see that he can reasonably expect me to come home from a meal out and rustle him up a meal. He is a grown man after all! And I definitely don't think I deserve to be called a twat!

OP posts:
lagrandissima · 21/05/2010 23:10

No one deserves to be called a twat - especially by someone who is supposed to love them.

Maybe it's time to sit down and explain where the eggs and beans are... He's going to have to help out on all fronts when you have a new baby and a child to look after. Who knows, he might even enjoy it?!

fearnelinen · 21/05/2010 23:10

YANBU. Give him a packet of crisps. Or a pot noodle. Or maybe stretch to a jam sandwich. I think that fulfills your womanly role. Oh, and then make him apologise 'like a man' for calling you a twat.

HecateQueenOfWitches · 21/05/2010 23:10

worldgonemad - don't suppose you'd do me a favour would you? If he says it again, say "Are you? What are you planning to make yourself?"

Or even better "Me too, whatever you're making I'll have one as well."

And come and tell me what he says.

I truly don't understand these men who think we are supposed to cook every meal for them for the rest of their lives.

worldgonemad72 · 21/05/2010 23:13

lol im going up bed in the next 5 mins or so , but if he says it again i will ask him what he is making himself

Original poster
jendaisy · 21/05/2010 23:14

I think from the smell wafting up the stairs he managed to find the toaster about half an hour ago, so you will all be relieved to know he is not going to starve tonight.

OP posts:
snala · 21/05/2010 23:14

You are not being a twat! Its him!
How long since he stormed off?

CrankyTwanky · 21/05/2010 23:16

Chief Twat of Twatmanshire.

Ethnicity is no excuse.

Tell him where the toaster is.

honeydragon · 21/05/2010 23:16

twat

my dh was meant to be on a works jolly today and tonight he felt crap so decided to come home, knowing as dad was away AGAIN (dh works away) I had promised ds take away or pub as treat for tea dh called to say he was coming home to add his two cents if we were getting take away , realised i was not answering mobile he figured we had gone to pub. As he knew he was coming home unexpectedly he picked up himself food and a bottle of wine on the way home .... knowing that he would be a twat to expect to be fed when he had been informed of everyone elses plans. He also brought back a kinder egg for ds too.

my dh is not perfect by any means but even he would not expect to be fed when others had plans , dp should have sucked it up and gone to pizza hut, I think he deliberately hoovered to make you feel extra guilty for doing something nice with dd uanbu

Clearly your dp was capable of looking in fridge/freezer?

Original poster
jendaisy · 21/05/2010 23:16

Erm about 3.5 hours ago! Have had a lovely if slightly lonely evening lounging in the bath reading magazines!

OP posts:
HecateQueenOfWitches · 21/05/2010 23:17

If he behaved like that with me I can tell you where the toaster would be!!!!!!!!

IMoveTheStars · 21/05/2010 23:18

would it have been too harsh to wrap the domino's menu round a large rock and hurl it in his general direction?

He hoovered the whole house? Wow... what does he want, a fucking chufty badge?

(I gave up hoovering when I was 20wks pg with DS due to SPD. Hoovering is DP's job now . DS is 2.5)

booyhoo · 21/05/2010 23:18

emm, how is hoovering a good deed?

surely he doesn't have to cook every time you hoover? surely he would hoover because it needed done and not because he thought he would get credit for it?

btw he is a twat.