aibu to think this woman needs to get a grip -

[leaftree]

'friend' has a 12 year old dd. the dd has been invited to a day out thing run by an organisation. lots of people she knows are going and the mum knows some of the parents.
this is the second time its run. its a proper organisation. they have to apply via application form. full contact details etc.

its an hour away and the parents put them on the bus and collect them.

the mum knows someone who went before and they are going again so she is assuming that it must be ok howvere, she is getting in a right stressy upset about it, how she cant let her go on her own and doesnt want her to go and shes not old enough.

the dd has a mobile phone and it is fully supervised. the mum says she doenst know the superviors.

i think she needs to get a grip and let her go. the poor girl is 12. all her friends are going.

Of course, i have not said this.
but just wondered aibu to think that?

YANBU - 12 is quite old enough to go on a reasonably-organised trip. The mum needs to think through what it is that worries her - a 12 yo doesn't need the level of supervision that a 4yo would need, so the supervisors aren't going to have to stop her from wandering off or make sure she puts her coat on if it rains!

its actually run by the council.

i cant see the problem. my dd is 8 and i would let her go. no worries. its no different that school or something.

her worries are that she doesnt know any one organising it. her poor dd already gets picked on for being a 'geek' poor girl isnt allowed to do anything on her own and i just feel really bad for her. this isnt helping matters i dont think.

the dd does do things. the mum refused on the basis that she already does so many activites.. which the mum stands and watches. but the mum said she realises its her problem.

i also have a 4 year old son. even he can work out if its raining to put a coat on.

it just seems silly to me.

I don't think you should find someone else's anxiety /stress issues silly

perhaps she has anxiety issues and she is very nervous of letting her daughter go away with her ,even for a few hours.
for that YABU

why not try to undersatnd why she is so upset and stressed about it?

If the mum does realise it's her that has the problem, and you are able to talk fairly openly with her, it might be worth suggesting that she needs to loosen the apron strings now so that her dd can get used to an increasing amount of freedom. That way they can both adjust to it a little at a time. For a first step, she could go to a cafe during the activities, rather than standing and watching. Then she knows exactly where her dd is, and who she's with, and can reduce her anxiety about not being able to see her.

Or, if it's too much for her to even contemplate that, then you could gently suggest that she talk to someone to get help overcoming her anxiety. Her dd is 12 - it would really be better for her to start practising her independence now, rather than perhaps rebelling in her teens and going too far in a reaction to the stifling.

YABU.

This mother's concerns have absolutely no bearing on your life and it is none of your concern.