To expect the stuff I tell my best friend to stay secret when i've asked her not to tell anyone??

[phoenixflower]

Not sure if I am being unreasonable or not. For the past 4 years, I have been at uni with someone who I have never got on well with, which I have naturally ?moaned? told my best friend about over the years. Also chatted about my other uni friends ( nothing bad, just general chit chat) as we have all been looking for jobs in the profession etc and my friend was interested in where we all had interviews as my friend is already in the profession and now one of the girls, we?ll call her Karen, has got a job where she works. I asked my friend not to say anything I had said to Karen about jobs/friends etc and she was really surprised and said ?But surely it doesn?t matter now Karen has a job as she won?t care where you had interviews ? etc. I tried to explain that I hadn?t told Karen where I had had interviews etc and I didn?t want anything getting back to her etc. My friend really didn?t see why I wouldn?t want Karen to know all these things I had told her! AIBU to be cross?? I asked her not to tell anyone, surely, as my best friend she can respect that??

I thought from your OP you were going to say that she had blabbed something private already.

Hmm tricky one. If she's a best friend, she should respect your reasons and shut up about it. At the same time, it's nice to have a friend that's not afraid to question your reasoning sometimes (i.e. honest). Why do you think it's so important to her that you tell your other friend? Could she be worried that you're not telling HER stuff as well?

AnyFuleKno - She doesn't want to specifically tell Karen anything. But she didn't see a problem in mentioning things that I had asked her to keep private if that makes sense!

Mmmm.. I have a close friend who asked me for an opinion with a problem she was having with a mutual friend, I gave her my honest opinion, she selected bits and then told other friend bits of what I'd said which presented a distorted view out of context. Very careful what I say now.

Well my memory is dreadful & whilst I'm very good at keeping important things private and secret, general chit chat & stuff that just doesn't rate as being 'precious information' wouldn't register on my 'secret do not share' radar.

It seems like you are asking your BF not to share anything you have discussed with her over the last few years with Karen as you do not like her? YABU