to not want to have a 1st birthday party for DD

[Irons]

I can't decide whether to have a party or not and who would I invite - we have a small family and I only have 2 friends, one with a 3-year old and one with a 1-year old, so it wouldn't really be a children's party.

What do I do? I considered maybe a pub lunch (it is also my birthday 2 days before hers), but who pays? How do you invite people to a birthday lunch and then say by the way you're all paying for your own food.

You can't invite for birthday lunch and not pay but that's my opinion. Can't you do a little informal tea party? Shame to let first birthday go uncelebrated. It's such a special day.

Can't you just have a little playdate for your friends and their DC's and supply cake.

And have another get together with your family... with more cake .

Childrens partys for 1 yr olds are over rated IME.

Why don't you just have a very small family/friend gathering at you house. Put out some sandwiches, sausage rolls etc and buy a ready made birthday cake, some balloons and bunting and voila! Everyone's happy!

I don't think YABU. I probably wouldn't have a full on 1st birthday.

Sorry I should have mentioned that we live in a small 2 bed flat also with two yappy dogs, which is why I didn't want to do anything at home - it's a bit cramped.

I didn't think it would be appropriate to invite people to a birthday lunch and not pay so I guess that's out the window because I couldn't afford to feed everyone.

We do have a communal garden where I could do a little outdoor party with cake etc. But can anyone give me the weather forcast for that day and guarantee it

PS: "that day" is 26th June

For my DS's first birthday I just did an open house afternoon, some came with their DCs, others without but he really didn't understand that it was his bday. Mind you that was in Jan and my mate's DD is having her 1st bday in a park next weekend, with the plan b being their house if weather is bad. I'm not expecting food or owt, the bday child is only 1. We'll take a little picnic for us and maybe DS will have his first taste of cake! Mmmmmm

I did do some food for DS's bday do, but that got eaten quite quickly so I obviously didn't plan it right.

Why not do a picnic in a local park and if the weather fails you, you have enough food for everyone to come and play at your house.

I like the idea of a picnic. Do I make lots of picnic food, or would it be rude to ask everyone to bring their own picnic baskets?

Picnic sounds perfect! Ask the couple of friends you had in mind to bring picnics along and say you'll supply the birthday cake.

DD1 had her 1st birthday celebrated by me buying a helium balloon for her and her two friends to poke/pull/gaze at whilst we adults chatted, ate pizza and drank beer. DD2's 1st birthday will be celebrated by unwrapping DD1's pre-loved toys from the loft.

Set your flame throwers to destroy - we did zero for DS's 1st birthday. We would both have been at work and DS at CMs, but as he was ill we took it in turns that week - I was at work that day. Best thing about the week was DS suddenly wanted cuddles the whole time and fell asleep on me, when he had been totally uninterested in cuddles. I suppose it's just as well we had nothing planned. I really don't think DS would have enjoyed a party even if he had been well. If it's for DD, do whatever she loves most - if it's for you, do whatever you love most. Simples. Don't do anything that is going to stress you out.