to have expected it not to have been so shocking that I would want more than one child?

[OrganicHairbrush]

Today I was talking to a healthcare professional about surgery I'm having.

She asked, "Couldn't you just delay it until DC1 is a bit older"?

I said "Possibly, but by then she may have younger brothers and sisters"

She inhaled sharply and stammered "Oh, but it didn't occur to me that you'd want more children!"

Certianly, yes, I do have serious health problems. But I am also doing everything conceivably possible to extend my life expectancy as far as possible and to ensure that DD and any/all subsequent children will always be safe and well-provided for. And who is she to judge?

I don't know your story

The HCP was making an assumption, and tbh if you are talking about your life expectancy then yes an assumption like that is one a lot of folks would make

I don't think she was judging, btw. Unprofessional, rather

But we all of us have a life expectancy. None of us will live much past 100...

Just ignore her, she probably just didn't think maybe due to ignorance? I dont know your health problem but if you are doing everything you can as you said, then why not have more dc if you want. I would try not to take her comments to heart

Well, to be honest without knowing a lot more about your medical condition, life expectancy, family circumstances and age of DC1, its hard to say. It doesn't sound like she was trying to judge and it looks like she was rather embarrased afterwards.

Points taken. But the individual in question knew nothing and asked nothing.

Will ignore it. Can't be arsed with a fight.

Cant be arsed with a fight?
Wtf??? What do you WANT?

It sounds more like she was concerned tbh. It certainly doesn't sound like she said it to be nasty.

Don't take any notice. Some people are just narrow minded.

I don't have health issues but when pregnant at 45 someone with a completely straight face, asked me if I thought that was wise.

kathyjelly
ooooh i would have slapped them.

OP, not knowing about your health problems noone can really say whether what she said was understsndable. she shouldnt have said it, especially not like that though.

Difficult to even say she shouldn't have said it, you haven't outlined her relationship to you or the context.. were you having a discussion about the negatives of the surgery, maybe?

HCPs are human. The good ones are human enough to have a conversation with you where they might occasionally say naff things in concern for you, I personally hate roboprofessionals who always say the right thing but sound weirdly insincere while doing so.

I'm calming down here and prepared to accept that IABU. I think was just too direct or directive or personal a comment to make when she knew so little about the situation, which was virtually nothing more than I've disclosed on MN...

No, just to clarify surgery is nothing related to childbearing... but just something she's probably never seen a pregnant woman/mother who's ever had...