My DP is moving from London to the South Coast. Truthfully, I wish he wasn't, because I live outside London and it's easy to see him regularly when he's there and I love visiting London as well as him! But he's always wanted to live in this new town, it's his dream, and I want him to be happy. We've worked out ways to still see one another regularly when he moves, and I'm confident it will be fine and we'll adjust.
However, it is all he talks about. Ever. I rang him last night to tell him about my dr's appointment, and forty five minutes later when we hung up, I still hadn't had a chance to mention it to him - he had spoken continuously about the move and all I'd done was make "yes dear" noises. I am interested in hearing about the move, of course I am, but I'd like him to care about something else as well. And 45 minutes! He hasn't even found a place yet.
He keeps asking me for help finding a flat or a house, and then when I give him what I've found, he says it's not what he wants. Which is fair enough, but he cannot afford what he wants. He has to compromise on something! I show him flats, he lists a dozen reasons why he doesn't want them, then two days later emails them to me saying "Look what I found, it's perfect!". When I point out that I already showed it to him and he hated it, he denies it.
Last week we went to look at one flat and one house. The flat needs painting outside, but he condemned it immediately for being shabby. I said, it may be lovely inside and how do we know they're not about to paint it? It's still worth looking into, we ought to be positive. Then he said he wants to be critical before he spends the money, it's a big purchase, and accused me of having a negative attitude! Of course he should be careful and aware, but refusing to look at a flat that could be amazing because the building needs painting, before finding out if that's due to happen or how much it would cost, etc, seems silly to me.
Then this morning, while he was at work, he asked me to have a look for some more places. I told him I'd found a flat but it was ground floor (which he doesn't like) but very nice inside. Without even looking, he asked me to book an appointment to see it, and several others. All in all I spent around two hours looking at properties and booking appointments, only for him to ring me and say that he doesn't want to look at any of the ones I found, only one he found, because the others are not what he was looking for and I'm not looking for the right things - even though I was told to look for "anything, near the town centre and within budget", and I did point out that the first flat was on the ground floor.
AIBU to tell him I'm sick of it? I've tried to be supportive, and he says he wants me to be involved, but whenever I try to help him he ignores my suggestions. I wouldn't expect him to buy something he doesn't like, of course, but he dismisses every suggestion I give him and then changes his mind when he thinks it's his idea! He does do a lot of the work in finding a place, I don't mean to sound like he does nothing and I do it all, that isn't the case. But I'm starting to feel there's no point in me trying to help him when he clearly wants to do it alone, even though he claims he wants my help. I don't know what to do, really - like I say, I don't want him to move, but I feel like I'm doing everything I can to be positive about it and offer support and he doesn't even care, and everything else is being pushed aside in his search for a place that simply does not exist within his budget.
Sorry, I didn't realise this would be so long!