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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to expect my 2:6 year old to understand

20 replies

tryingtobemarrypoppins2 · 19/05/2010 20:13

if you don't have 1 spoonful of your dinner your not having pudding.

I am going nuts! He eats at nursery, I cook the same, he rejects it. We all eat together, no fuss, ignore him if he plays up, getting a bit cross now!!

OP posts:

thesecondcoming · 19/05/2010 20:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RuthChan · 19/05/2010 20:20

I entirely agree. No main eaten, no pudding given. Ignore the fuss, that's the rule.We have tantrums here too, but it their choice.

Original poster

tryingtobemarrypoppins2 · 19/05/2010 20:35

Thank-god you said that! Just got off the phone to my mum who claims he is too young to understand??!!! Oh and also said just feed him what he will eat! Well that would be bake beans and ummmmmmm bake beans!

OP posts:

SarfEasticated · 19/05/2010 20:36

I never offer my DD 2.9 pudding, don't see the point, we don't eat pudding. She has it after her lunch at nursery 3 days a week so that's enough I reckon. She has lots of fruit during the day and yoghurt for breakfast or for a snack, so I think she gets enough sweet stuff.
I also don't give her crisps sweets or biscuits - but then we don't have those in the house either - miserable cow aren't I!

I know she'll eat all sorts of stuff like that when she's at school, that's fine, just not at home.

mjinhiding · 19/05/2010 20:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

EdgarAllenPoll · 19/05/2010 20:41

YABU - they can and do undestand, they jsut don't care.

mine will usually tuck in to her dinner until DS finishes his, then she starts dicking about (unfortunately if i feed him more slowly, he cries..)

the issue is not comprhension, it's motivation....

thisisyesterday · 19/05/2010 20:43

at 2.6? no, i don't think they can really understand that concept actually, esp not relating it back to the situation they are in

I try not to use food as a reward, or to give the impression that a meal is the boring bit before the fun fun fun of pudding!
so we often ahve no pudding anyway, and if there is then they get offered it if they've eaten dinner, if they don't want dinner they just get down. no fuss, no cajoling, no warning them that there will be no pudding...

SarfEasticated · 19/05/2010 20:49

I guess the problem is if you prize the pudding as a treat, then dinner becomes a chore you have to wade through to get it.
I happen to love dinners, roast potatoes, nice meat, broccoli with butter on it, corn on the cob (butter again ) etc so that's what we have and DD likes it too.

EdgarAllenPoll · 19/05/2010 20:49

which is why, if i pick up her milk cup...DD goes and sits down and eats (knowing she won't get milk until she finishes...)...interestingly DS will sit down if i take his food away (if standing) knowing i won't feed him stood up..he#s only 16m..this is not because they are geniuses, it's normal learning from experience.

the human creature is geared up to learn from experience. from a very early age.

thisisyesterday · 19/05/2010 20:55

yes, they can learn that if you do a specific thing they can expect a specific consequence

i don't think though, that they can fully understand the implications of someone saying to them "you can't have any pudding unless you eat one spoonful of dinner"

JaynieB · 19/05/2010 20:55

Agree with thisisyesterday - don't use pudding as the bribe to eat, either offer it or not. I have even been known to let my DD have something sweet before the main meal - she eats her food if she's hungry or likes it but if she doesn't, she doesn't. She rarely refuses all food, but if she's eaten little I will tend to still give her a sweet option, but nothing too exciting - usually fruit and maybe an oatcake.

Original poster

tryingtobemarrypoppins2 · 19/05/2010 21:15

But he always eats pudding and never dinner! This can't go on. I think pudding will have to go. He will ask for it though.... to me that shows he is picking and choosing....

OP posts:

thesecondcoming · 19/05/2010 21:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

onepieceoflollipop · 19/05/2010 21:20

My grandad (who was a bit of a character) used to say that you should eat your pudding first. That way if you died while you were eating your cabbage you wouldn't have missed out on pudding as well!

I think that a 2.6 year old understands a lot of things. Whether they agree/like what they are told is a completely8 different* issue.

Morloth · 19/05/2010 21:22

Pudding is a rare treat here and isn't dependant on eating your dinner.

Not being hungry is dependant on eating your dinner.

colditz · 19/05/2010 21:24

Stop giving puddings as a bribe to eat main meals. It encourages children to over eat and get fat, or to whine and tantrum about eating 'normal' food.

Make normal food and fruit the only option. No child needs a pudding.

colditz · 19/05/2010 21:25

And I'm with Morloth - hunger should be the only consequence of not eating your dinner

hollyhobbie · 19/05/2010 21:29

Well said colditz.
Or make one day a week a 'treat' day. DD and DS have ice cream on a friday. Never on any other day, so they know not to beg and whine for it.

Original poster

tryingtobemarrypoppins2 · 19/05/2010 21:40

Goodbye pudding

OP posts:

mumbar · 19/05/2010 21:51

I am a eat your dinner and you can have 'something else' after if you are still hungrey mum. The 'something else' i offer is usually fruit/ yoghurt but sometimes ice cream but I find that by calling it something else my DS just sees it as more food for hunger not a consequential reward.

I did use to call it pudding until I began to suffer the same difficulties as the OP.

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