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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that charity fundraisers who knock on my door are intrusive?

112 replies

ChickenInABasket · 19/05/2010 15:11

I just had a very nice Red Cross fund raiser knock on my front door asking me to sign up for their latest fundraising campaign. I'm quite used to being accosted on the high street but this is the first time they've come to my home!

I do appreciate that they need to raise money/ awareness but AIBU to think that this is intrusive and that I should be left in peace in my own home?

OP posts:
Ladyanonymous · 19/05/2010 19:14

Charities don't just run on donations.

A lot of charities run on bidding for tenders to be service providers, grants and local authority funding.

pigletmania · 19/05/2010 19:14

YANBU doing this in the street is one thing, but harranging you at your door sometimes as late as 8pm (it happened to me) is not right. Your home should be your santurary away from people selling and harassing you. I already donate to a couple of charities on a regular basis and cannot afford to give to everyone who asks.

Thediaryofanobody · 19/05/2010 19:14

"im a salesperson (business sales) and its generally accepted that you ignore 'no cold calling' signs."

If your going to ignore polite notices then you can't really complain when people aren't so polite when they open the door.

pantaloons · 19/05/2010 19:14

I'm going to get flamed now, but I tend to tell chuggers that "I don't give to beggars"

I do give money to charity and through church, but don't agree with these tactics.

TheCrackFox · 19/05/2010 19:18

There is no way that I would give my bank details to a stranger on the street/at my front door. They could be complete fraudsters for all I know.

toccatanfudge · 19/05/2010 19:20

no - they're probably not getting their arm twisted because they're smart/strong enough to say no........but that doesn't mean they're not a problem

JennyPiccolo · 19/05/2010 19:24

Thediaryofanobody,

I wasn't complaining about my job, i was saying it's naive to expect that a sign will keep people away.

how many times have you seen 'no ball games' signs used as goalposts, for instance? I was just making the point that it's generally accepted that signs get ignored.

i have got sales behind 'no cold calling' signs before, so it outweighs the risk of someone telling me to piss off.

ImSoNotTelling · 19/05/2010 19:29

"at the end of the day, the problems in the world are bigger than putting 10p in a tin. "

Yes but they're not asking for 10p, they're asking for your bank details so that they can sign you up for a monthly direct debite - a big commitment.

"occatanfudge, i agree that would be a problem, but i doubt that anyone on this thread would be having their arm twisted. "

Yes but we aren't the only people in the world . My elderly mother, for example, isn't on this thread. Surely it is charitable to think of others, not just of yourself. People are thinking of others when they raise concerns about elderly and vulnerable people being doorstepped by cold-calling hard-sell sales people. That is a valid concern. "I'm alright jack" seems a rather uncharitable approach TBH.

Glitterknickaz · 19/05/2010 19:29

I think in my case it was the complete disregard for my circumstances and not asking whether I was willing to donate that annoyed me. The coming right out and saying "ok so now we need your bank details"....

I do what I can for charity, I have done Race for Life, I do what I can for the National Autistic Society too. At the moment Childline are doing something at the kids' school and I will support that too....

Also RDA.... I am hoping DS2 can start riding there soon but due to lack of donations it could be up to 2 years. I try to help when I can for that too.

A local hospice and dog rescue I also help with. If I can't give money I give time. However I certainly won't have anything to do with a charity that employs this kind of tactic.

ImSoNotTelling · 19/05/2010 19:31

And why do they have to shout "don't you care about blind children/starving babies/abandoned puppies" in your face before they go?

I mean the whole thing is bloody horrible. Is it any wonder everyone hates it.

JennyPiccolo · 19/05/2010 19:39

don't see how that's different to people telling me i have no regard for the elderly because i don't think someone's job is an excuse to give them abuse.

ImSoNotTelling · 19/05/2010 19:47

Who is giving anyone abuse?

I always politely say no thank you to the charity people and explain that I already donate. They then almost always give a parting shot of "don't you care about starving children" before they stalk off.

No-one on this thread has takled about giving anyone abuse have they? Just saying that they wished it didn't happen, as they hate being accosted in this way. Then going on to give a huge list of reasons as to why it's a bad thing - the charities not seeing all the proceeds, vulnerable people being coerced etc.

But you keep coming and telling us that we are all tight and out of order. And defending this practice. Why are you defending a practice which causes so much anger and upset and potentially coerces vulnerable people? Can't you see that if a man loudly says "don't you care about starving children" in an old ladies face on her doorstep that she is going to go and get her cashcard?

JennyPiccolo · 19/05/2010 20:02

there were quite a few messages of 'i gave them an earful' etc etc at the start of the thread, which was what i was annoyed about.

I didn't call anyone tight, and you've no right to tell me what i think about anything. As i said, i know a few people who've done this job, and they do get shouted at and spat on etc.

All i said was that it doesn't take anything to have manners, I'm fully aware that this can work both ways. Nobody mentioned the vulnerable or elderly until after i'd stated my case.

i pointed out that charities wouldn't do this if it didn't make money, which is something you need to look at to explain why it happens. They don't do it just to annoy you.

Ladyanonymous · 19/05/2010 20:07

I was just pointing out that charity begins at home and as a working single mum an uniterrupted dinner time with my children is paramount to me.

Being able to talk with them about their day, have a laugh together and "re-group" is really really important and means they may not need the help from at least some of the charities knocking on my door interrupting our family time!!

ImSoNotTelling · 19/05/2010 20:09

I am sure they make money by coercing vulnerable people into donating money.

Howzat.

"at the end of the day, the problems in the world are bigger than putting 10p in a tin. "

Sounds like you were saying we were tight to me.

But you think it's fine. Great. i hope that no-one close to you ever gets guilted (but don't you care about dying babies??? Don't you???") into signing up for something they can ill afford by someone doing a hard sell on their doorstep.

JennyPiccolo · 19/05/2010 20:16

I'm not sure that they do, but there's no need to get upset about my point of view, i'm clearly in a minority here. I'm also the only person posted who's actually met any of these people in real life.

toccatanfudge · 19/05/2010 20:18

you can "give someone an earful" without shouting or spitting at them

JennyPiccolo · 19/05/2010 20:21

semantics much?

ImSoNotTelling · 19/05/2010 20:30

I've met lots of these people IRL. They come and bang on my front door 3 times a week and tell me that I don't care about abused children. While my children stand next to me Nice thing for them to hear all these strangers saying to their mummy.

Actually thinking about it I suppose that;s the point, to get them to stop saying things like that in front of the children.

Anyway, I am sure that in their personal lives they are perfectly nice and normal, as are most sales people. it doesn't change the fact that their brief is to get people to hand over their bank details by any (legal) means necessary.

toccatanfudge · 19/05/2010 20:34

not really - I often give my children an earful without resorting to be abusive (ie shouting or spitting) at them

BendyBob · 19/05/2010 20:40

Get one of these Mine seems to be working a treat

ImSoNotTelling · 19/05/2010 20:49

The more I think about it, the more I think that what really irks me is to be told (almost shouted sometimes) "don't you care about xxx".

I mean how do they know that you haven't recently been diagnosed with cancer yourself, or lost a child, or have a relative with alzheimers or whatever.

it's just wrong, and done calculatedly to cause maximum upset. Upset to make you give, or upset to punish you for not giving. What kind of person says "don't you care about abused children? DON'T YOU?????" when you are standing at the door with your children at your side and them listening to every word?

scaryteacher · 19/05/2010 22:03

The other way to do it of course is to request the bank details of the charity involved and say you will consider setting up a standing order. They then don't need your bank details, and you are in charge of setting this up (or not) and the amount cannot be varied.

I stopped donating to Oxfam as I was rung up a year after I had started to donate, and was harangued about the amount I gave and the fact I didn't have a DD mandate. Needless to say the SO was stopped the next day, and I do not donate to Oxfam now, and have not done since 2001. I give to Christian Aid as I think they are not quite so political.

LtEveDallas · 19/05/2010 22:21

We had a phonecall the other night asking us to donate to a charity for blind children. I politely explained that as a service family we already donated to st dunstans (blind ex forces) and she said "but none of that money will go to children, do you have children? are they sighted? Children need the money more than soldiers"

WTF?

Needless to say I didn't sign up

priceyy95 · 03/09/2013 23:06

I am a door2door fundraiser. But before you judge, I'm not commission paid. I work 5 hours a day and get paid £7 an hour.
Yes we ask you to sign-up and we are not pushy, if you say no and have a good reason we leave you to enjoy your day. Most of the people have come across are polite, but some are rude, and its not necassary. At the end of the day, someone has to do the job, and I can safely say, I care and support the charity I work on very much.
We are not all that bad. Clearly you have only met commission based fundraisers.