To have told friend that I can see why people suspect her dh of having an affair?

[NotWithMyHusband]

Friend's dh is a very outgoing, sociable bloke, generally chats to anyone and everyone. In about the past six months he's become very friendly with another of the school mums, and rumours have begun circulating that they are having an affair.

She has become more and more upset by this, because she swears that he's not having an affair, and he's been getting upset about it too and taking it out on her.

Thing is, I can see why people would jump to this conclusion. He and this woman seem to spend all their time together, they walk to school together, stand whispering in the playground, walk back together and often he stops at her car and again they stand whispering in the carpark for ages and if you walk past and speak to them there is a real feeling that you've interupted something. The chemistry between them is very obvious.

So yesterday this was mentioned again, and I said that tbh while I'm sure there's nothing going on, I can actually see why people think there might be, and that while it's obviously none of anyone's business if he wants to have female friends, he might want to think about how the way he interacts with this woman looks to others if he doesn't want other people jumping to conclusions.

So ibu?

...also sounds like everyone in your playground needs to get a life....god I LOVE not having to stand in the playground anymore...

I don't think YABU at all. This really doesn't sound like your bog-standard father makes a female friend at pick up time scenario, does it? If people are gossiping, and if it's upsetting the bloke and his wife, then just possibly the bloke should think about the impression he is managing to give people. Fair enough.

I would not be at all happy if this was my dh.Yes, I know we have to be all 'accepting' that men and women can be friends blah blah blah and maybe in some instances they can. BUT, if my dh was telling another woman that she was beautiful repeatedly (and I think this is a flirty word, he could've said fine or nice) and was chatting in a way that made other people feel they were interrupting a conversation, I would think there was some serious flirting going on even if they weren't actually having an affair. There is a reason why more than one person is getting vibes. Body language exists for a reason and shouldn't be ignored. Now, some people think flirting is okay, so long as it's nothing else, but I would not view it this way and would be grateful to my friend for letting me know what was happening. Some people do shoot the messenger though, so unless she brings it up and asks I would steer clear from now on(as others have suggested). You could have a word with the dh but he is already aware of the problem and should be steering clear of this woman if only to spare his wife further distress.

Nothing wrong with what you've said so far, I think (just common sense in fact), but if I were you, now that I've said it I'd be ducking out.