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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want to be able to sit in my own garden?

44 replies

arsesandoldlace · 18/05/2010 16:31

...or at least open a window?

Here we are all cooped up because my neighbours seem to find it neccessary to smoke joint after joint all day long.

I mean REALLY. Who needs to be stoned at 10am? And remain stoned all day? It fucking stinks out there, this is supposed to be a 'nice' area. Shall I just call the police?

OP posts:
scurryfunge · 18/05/2010 23:36

If she speaks to them informally and they take no notice, the OP runs the risk of having them realise who called old bill in anyway.

People who take drugs have an apparent disregard for what is socially acceptable anyway, they are unlikely to think, "oh yeah, I'm breaking the law, best stop".

Needanewname · 18/05/2010 23:43

I would talk to the police. Don;t have a problem with occasional use but smoking in the morning and all day, who's looking after the child.

Yes they might be lovely neighbours who get a bit embarrased that you;ve noticed and stop immediately or they could tell you to piss of and mind your own business, do you really want to call the police then?

tallulabell74 · 18/05/2010 23:51

Scurryfunge - that is a risk, granted. But I would hope that neighbourly disputes could be better resolved by approaching the people in question before involving the police or SS.

The OP didn't suggest they were intimidating in any other way. If they are, or even if she is not comfortable talking to them as I said in my original post, then yes, get the authorities involved.

tallulabell74 · 18/05/2010 23:54

And before I get flamed for 'neighbourly disputes' - the OP has never questioned the well-being of the boy who lives there - only her own displeasure at the smoke/smell.

scurryfunge · 18/05/2010 23:56

I can see it's a difficult situation tallulabell74 and it's easy for us to give the advice as we don't live beside them.

You have to be a pretty strong character to take on the neighbours but yes,everything is best resolved via direct communication first (though in my experience, drug users are not cooperative)

scurryfunge · 18/05/2010 23:57

You won't get flamed, your points are valid

tallulabell74 · 19/05/2010 00:05

Thanks scurryfunge. It is difficult and I can only talk from my own experience of problem neighbours, when the authorities let my family down and I wish I had 'initiated contact' as they put it.

jendaisy · 19/05/2010 00:16

I was a cannabis user for several years and i would personally say go and have a chat with them. If they were a bunch of crack heads, I would give that a miss and call the old bill. But the fact it that most 'smokers' are, by nature of their habit, pretty chilled out and laid back types. I would have certainly taken it on board if someone had approached me saying that my smoking was affecting their quality of life. If they do get nasty or don't take any notice of what you say then, yes, think about taking it further. But you have to live next to these people, and smoking weed does not make them the children of satan.

sarah293 · 19/05/2010 07:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

ooojimaflip · 19/05/2010 08:03

Ask them not to do it. If they keep doing it turn the garden hose on them.

stressedHEmum · 19/05/2010 08:33

From experience, all I can say is that neither the police nor SS will do anything. We have neighbours here who are very young and have a young child. They (particularly the boy) are almost constantly out their faces on drugs (almost anything that he can get hold off, because we all hear him ordering it very loudly on his mobile out the back door) and Buckie or cider (sometimes both). Not a good combination as he gets very violent, abusive and destructive to the point where he has randomly smashed neighbours windows, ripped out washing poles from the ground, torn down fences, set fire to bins, wrecked his own house, smashed bottles all over the street to burst folk's tyres because he thinks that they were looking at him............ You can't approach him because it is well known that he carries a knife and has a posse who all do the same and he is so unpredictable that it's not safe to talk to him about anything. His gang are known to lie in wait for people that they have "grudges" against so that they can get even. He is well known to the police, who are never away from his door, has been in young offenders etc. He also has at least 4 outstanding ASBO things and is in court every couple of months for things like malicious wounding, assault, shoplifting etc. HE also spends a lot of time out the back boasting with his mates about their latest petty, or not so petty, crimes, where everyone can hear him.

And yet, when we (the entire street) complain to the police or the council all we get told is that they will have a word with him. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don't. It never has any effect. In fact, when a policeman came to my doo, again, recently asking if I had seen him I told him about the latest escapades. The policeman's response was to say that " well, you have to expect some of that kind of behaviour, really, there's not much anyone can do about it."

They are well known to SS as well because the wee girl was underage when she had the baby and they have their own social worker. But they do things like meet her at their parent's houses, smoke all their dope outside etc. And when things have been bad, they disappear for a week or so, lying low until it blows over a bit and police and SS are off their tails. I've even seen then running out the backdoor while the police are knocking on the front door, or have had the police come and ask me if I have seen them, when they are sitting in their house not answering the door!

We all used to be very concerned for their wellbeing, especially as they are so young, and all the neighbours had tried to make them welcome/be helpful etc. But now we are just well and truly sick of the whole thing and have no time for them at all, especially the boy. We all fell very sorry for the wee girl and the baby, but there is nothing that we can do about it.

So if I were OP, I wouldn't approach her neighbour. I would call the local council, even if it is a private house and make a complaint of anti-social behaviour. The council will not divulge who reported unless it comes to court for any reason. I would also think that it was pointless to call the police, except for the fact that having a police record of any complaint of ASB makes it easier for councils to pursue. So I would phone them without any expectation that they will do anything.

And if anyone finds a solution to OPs problem, I would be very interested because the hash reek round here is sick-making, from early in the morning until night time, and my kids refuse to go outside quite often because of it. Well because of it and the constant, overwhelming swearing and shouting etc.

Oh dear, sorry. What a rant.

Firawla · 19/05/2010 09:17

i would call the police, why not its against the law and is inconveniencing you - call them! you dont owe your neighbours anything after they act like this

OldMacEIEIO · 19/05/2010 09:30

stressedHEMum
jeez, my heart goes out to you. Some of the nobs who have responded here should read well your rant, and understand ONE thing.
These people have a different take on consequences than we do. We would be terrified at the prospect of SS or the police knocking at our door, or the thought of harming someone who may be innocent.
they are not

Rainbow12 · 19/05/2010 09:36

Jendaisy has given sensible advice. Hope you get it sorted out

stressedHEmum · 19/05/2010 10:07

OldMac. that's it exactly. I'm not saying that everyone who smokes dope is the same but many, many of these people have no respect for anyone or anything. They don't care how their behaviour impacts on others and they have a completely different view of consequences than I would. The kids next door, and many other folk round here take it as a matter of course that the police will be at their door a couple of times a week, that they have a social worker, asbos, whatever. It's a matter of pride if they can set fire to someone's bin or some communal grassy bit, they even "smoke" the wheelie bins for fun (burn holes in them and inhale the fumes.) And it is unthinkable to them that they would "let you away with" reporting them to the police or even looking at them while they are engaging in their anti-social behaviour. So they burst your tyres, put your windows in, give your teenage son a kicking or worse, in revenge.

I would most definitely not approach the neighbours directly and I would make it clear to police and council that I wanted my name kept out of it.

stressedHEmum · 19/05/2010 10:09

Oh and I should mention that this is supposed to be one of the nicest council areas around here. There are many schemes where it is lot, lot worse and people like the ones that I live next to are the norm, not the minority.

OldMacEIEIO · 19/05/2010 10:14

stressedHEMum
listen to this. (it might put a teensy smile on your face)
When I was a sp, i struggled. I had a pair of trainers that i wore for two years, my only footwear. In the end they stank so bad and were so tatty that I put them out for the binman. next morning they were gone !!
and the local thug was seen showing off his new 'boots' in the street

scurryfunge · 19/05/2010 13:42

OldMacEIEIO....bit rude to call people nobs for having an opinion different to yours.

tallulabell74 · 20/05/2010 23:36

OldMacEIEIO...Nobs?? Really?

Noone was being rude to the OP or saying her problem was trivial, just suggesting different ways of dealing with it, which she may/may not like. And only she will know the best way to handle the situation, which we are not party to and therefore can't judge. But our opinion was asked...

How does that make us nobs?

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