To want my dad to leave the living room when my CPN comes to visit?

[SirBoobAlot]

FFS this is really getting on my nerves now. Fourth time in a row my Dad has been sat in the living room when my CPN has turned up; the conservatory is full of stuff and is right next to where he is sitting, don't feel right having her in my room (my space, IYSWIM), so this time we went outside.

Today he was writing letters and complained I asked him before she arrived if he could go; thing is he could have easily done them last night but was playing online instead. He knew when she was visiting because its a regular visit.

This means I end up talking rubbish instead of actually talking about what I need to talk about as I know he can overhear. She comes to visit me to make my life easier as the hospital is two bus rides and a walk away, and am disabled with a 6 month old.

Am I being unreasonable? Surely it isn't too much to ask to have my therapy in private?

What does CPN mean? And does your Dad live with you?

If you are having therapy once a week and Dad knows this then I think it is reasonable for him to take himself elsewhere for one hour per week!

YANBU, there is such a thing as patient confidentiality.

Do you live with your Dad ?

I know what you mean about having the nurse in your bedroom and it being a private space. Is there nowhere else in the house you could have your sessions with the CPN - kitchen, dining room ?

hippopo - Community Psychiatric Nurse

can you ask your cpn to ask your dad to leave the room in future

I live with my parents. Before hand my mum has made herself a cup of tea and sat down to join in our "little chat"

The living room and dinning room are connected, and the kitchen is just the other side of the wall. I would be quite happy to sit in the kitchen, but when I tried it one of the other times she came to visit, Dad came in to make himself coffee and have a cigarette.

seriously, ring your CPN and ask her to do it - that way it's less personal.
Can't believe the insensitivity of your parents.

Is there a local surestart clinic or similar she could arrange for a privare session in? She might know if you ask.

sounds like your CPN may be best to have a proper word with your parents about boundaries and how inappropriate it is for them to be invading your sessions with him/her as it is actually setting you back in recovery terms (you can't be honest and open when they are in the vicinity).

Why not go out to Starbucks or somewhere?

I might ask her about the surestart or similar possibility, thanks.

I have used my bedroom in the past - twice. It made me feel very invaded and skitty, as part of my condition is paranoia based. I didn't sleep for a week after each time, convinced she'd put camera in to watch my every move

She's not happy about it, she knows how uncomfortable it makes me feel, but is also aware things can be quite volatile at home, which I why I think she hasn't said anything about it before.

Walk-wise, my condition physically is up and down. Some days this would be possible, other days not. And am always cautious of random strangers overhearing me. But that might be an option as the weather gets better. There is a local park and if its during the school day hopefully it shouldn't be too busy.

YANBU the insensitivity of your folks but I can just imagine my mum doing a thing like that too. Parents cannot help being nosey, but no excuse. Is there somewhere else you can meet that is nearer e.g.drs surgery or medical centre. Or if not ask the nurse to request privacy from your parents, it might be beter coming from her.

I've had this too- my FIL decided to sit in with a midwife appointment where she asked all about my sexual health and so on (we were staying with him in the middle of a house move).

YANBU. My CPN is coming round tomorrow and my auntie in law has told me she is visiting at the same time, I think I will ask her to take the kids for a walk or something and get them all out of the way!

My mum used to look up on the NHS computer when my next appointment was and phone up to remind me, which annoyed me no end.

I wonder if it's more than insensitivity. I wonder if they do actually feel really uncomfortable about you having someone else to talk to. I wonder if they are worried you are talking about them, and are doing it on purpose (concsiously or unconsciously), or they are worried about you and ant to listen in?

Whatever the reason, It is really intrusive, and I'd ask the CPN to have a word with them saying that from her point of view it needs to be a private consultation

butterpie
OP why do you think they';re doing it? is it a benign "our little girl has no secrets from us" or more to do with you living in their house?

You think she's worried about upsetting your dad?

Sorry, I meant - do you think your CPN hasn't said anything because she's worried about upsetting your dad?

Have you asked your parents to give you some privacy when the CPN comes? If it was me I'd ask them both if they minded going upstairs or out whilst the CPN is there to give you some privacy. If they refuse then I'd tell them you're going in the kitchen and can they please keep out of the kitchen whilst the CPN is there. Clearing this up now before the CPN arrives would be best. If it's their house then assuming you are a mum yourself they may feel you should get your own place.

2rebecca - sounds like she has asked but dad is not listening. Either doesn't understand or (likely) doing it on purpose. CPN needs to take charge IMO, 'cos SirBoobALot not feeling comfortable is pretty relevant to her condition, from the sounds of it.

Sorry for multiple postings

2rebecca - we discussed me getting my own place when I fell pregnant and have at various times since. I'm 19 with a 6 month old DS, and each time it has come up in conversation they have said they I have to decide what is right for me - that I will always have a room here as long as I decide to stay, but that they also understand the desire for my own space. As much as we disagree on many other things, this I think is true. I do my share around the house and I pay towards the bills / food, buy everything for DS and I myself. So I don't think its that.

Not sure why - wonder if its that they don't take it seriously still, or maybe they don't get the fact its a private discussion. Going to give my CPN a call tomorrow (she wasn't in the office this afternoon apparently). Possible I'm reading too much into this whole situation, but still - its bugging me.

If they say they understand the desire for your own space then maybe you should bring this up in discussion with them and ram home the fact that this is the sort of occasion where you'd like some private space as it's a confidential discussion about your mental health and you want a private discussion not a family conference. You could maybe add that if they can't give you space for stuff like this you'd look at leaving.
If they care about you and you are still mentally unwell with paranoia etc that may help them get the message.

While your parents obviously care about you, the idea that they can be present while you are having a private discussion goes a bit beyond the bounds. A pity your dad isn't using some commonsense about needing to give you space.

Anyway, with better weather perhaps the park (or CPN's car parked near the park, if that's possible) would provide alternative venue that could help.

Can only wish you good luck for next week.

Have only suggested CPN's car as somewhere you can be without any 'extra' ears, compared with home or in park.

Doubt her insurance would allow CPN to collect you, hence idea of her parking somewhere close by, as there's (hopefully) no problem about you both sitting in car for a chat...

YADNBU - you should be able to talk freely with your CPN without your parents listening in overhearing.

If the CPN has a car, that is a good suggestion from NG - private space but not invading yours. You don't get claustrophobic as well, do you?

Hope you can sort this out, lovey - not good for you to be thwarted like this.