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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To bloody hate what my dbros ex wife is doing to him ??

15 replies

ApocalypseCheese · 18/05/2010 12:53

Seriously, i'm not one for violence but

Last year exsil lost her job and became hooked on the internet, during this time ,her and dbro decided to split, it was to be amicable and she was to stay in the area.

Exsil decided she couldnt stay in the house and wanted to get away so dbro paid for a cottage for the six weeks hols 350 miles away. (he had his dd for 3 of those weeks)

Turns out it wasnt a holiday let, it was long term and she'd met somebody else, in the meantime she ran up £7000 on dbros credit card funding her new life.

When all this came out she told him to ask his dd what she wanted to do (after having the place sold to her as a holiday for weeks) His dd of course said she wanted to move to where they were.

Dbro agreed to all this,(I went mad, shes only 8 ffs ! ) he didnt want his dd to resent him and bought them a house outright in wales,pays £400 a month maintenance on top of this he buys her clothes etc.

All he asked in return was that his ex met him half way when he picks his dd up, it's too far for him to drive frequently in one day plus he can't afford it after he gave her over and above what he should have so his dd would be settled (if they'd have split the house she'd only have got about 50 grand )

Now shes saying 'I can't afford it, its too far, can't you stay in a hotel etc, whine, whine, whinge !'

The bloody greedy cow !! She couldnt keep her legs shut, took his child 350 miles away which he has been supportive in and she can't be bothered getting off her arse and enabling contact, she has taken his life away and left him broken, her family are so disgusted the've washed their hands of her (and they don't know about the other man, d'bro isnt malicious and hasnt told them)

So would I be unreasonable to implement torture by shoving a rolled up wodge of money down her ungrateful cow neck ?!!

Seriously, how many people can say theyre mortgage free at the age of 35 and all theyre asked in return is to drive a 350 mile round trip once a month ??!! Grrr

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TheShriekingHarpy · 18/05/2010 13:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

GypsyMoth · 18/05/2010 13:10

how often does he or should he have his dd??

she's in school...he could also bargain for longer stays,i.e most of the holidays,if travel is an issue....as even with meeting her halfway,its the dd who does the both full journeys,must be exhausting for her

porcamiseria · 18/05/2010 13:15

she sounds like an arsehole, I am annoyed now

I'd want to do something spiteful to get revenge knowing me!

google "revenge tactics" for ideas (joke...)

ApocalypseCheese · 18/05/2010 15:08

He sees her once a month and as much of the holidays as possible but obviously like everyone else he has to earn a living. He is looking at moving nearer but its finding a job which pays enough because of the extra debt hes taken on.

Dniece dosent mind the travelling tbh, quite happy singing and chatting with her dad.

I do think dbros been too soft, trying to do the right thing, he took his dd shopping for clothes recently and even left the ex some money to treat herself so she didnt feel left out !! I think hes trying to keep things calm as he dosent want aminosity between them for the sake of his dd.

I'm bloody fuming hes on a fair wage but is by no means loaded, she has been treated fairly, when he got some inheritence (£30,000) she got half, he could have kept it secret but didnt even tho he really needed it. An still she wants more and more, dbro is now having to look for a lodger to help ease the costs all the while shes wittering down his ear like a sodding baby bird in a nest, but instead she says more!

And no she dosent bloody work, he has always supported her and when she did work her money was her own.

Makes me there are so many shite men out there, he has always worked hard, been a doting dad and tried to do the right thing and gets this shite heaped on him. and for my bro. Grrrr

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cupcakesandbunting · 18/05/2010 15:14

YANBU.

She sounds a lot like my BiL's ExP, who was also a twat.

ApocalypseCheese · 18/05/2010 17:46

And don't even get me started on the fact that when the house is finally finished no doubt this 'man' will be moving in, set up for life at my brothers expense

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HecateQueenOfWitches · 18/05/2010 17:49

He's a good man. Everything he's doing, he's shelling out for, is for his daughter.

If only more men worked so hard to put their child first after a split.

It's unfortunate the ex is such a nasty bit, but good for your brother for doing everything to ensure his child is provided for.

ApocalypseCheese · 18/05/2010 17:55

Hectate, he's too bloody good, grumble, mumble.

Can't believe my big bro has been reduced to this

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SuSylvester · 18/05/2010 17:56

NOTHING IS EVER ONE SIDED

HecateQueenOfWitches · 18/05/2010 18:01

You can't be too good when it comes to your kids. That child is very lucky to have him for a father.

ApocalypseCheese · 18/05/2010 18:03

SU, believe me, if you knew her you'd know.....as far as I can see his only crime has been to work hard to provide for his family, she even said herself 'she was bored' which is why shes gone chasing a penis miles away. What will happen if this goes tits up, does she move again ??

And tbh it says a lot that her own 'doting' parents have disowned her !!

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ApocalypseCheese · 18/05/2010 18:18

He bought the house because he wanted her to be settled, not being shifted round rentals etc, but she should give a little too !!

And yes, my niece is luckey, poor kids regretting it now tho, don't think she realised what she was leaving behind, her friends, her dad, school etc. A bedtime phonecall is not the same as a hug.

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lazarusb · 18/05/2010 19:53

He should see a solicitor asap. His dd has a right to see her dad more often..

zipzap · 18/05/2010 21:43

what would happen if his dd wanted to live with him (and her old life, albeit minus her mother around on a daily basis) and just visited the mother on a monthly basis... ??

ApocalypseCheese · 20/05/2010 17:45

lazarus, his ex has never denied/restricted access, she just dosent want him to meet him half way !!

zip zap, tha isnt really an option at the moment, he works hellish shifts, he plans on keeping on the house where she grew up as a secure base for the next couple of years ( when she visits she always has her friends to sleepover/days out together etc she misses them a lot and hasnt really made friends wheres shes moved to, poor kid. plus like a lot of little girls, much as she loves her dad she'd probably prefer to stay with her mum fulltime.

We are all still on speaking terms with his ex and we get on ok (her own family arent) but certainly don't agree with her actions !

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