Need to vent- dying grandad, and dh

11 replies

RiverOfSleep · 18/05/2010 08:56

Sorry need to vent. Grandad (1.5 hours away) dying and we are rushing down to say goodbye. So why is dh hoovering the fking car before we set off!!!
We are giving cousin a lift and he wants it to be clean and there is no point setting off in rush hour. I am prob BU which is why I am biting my tongue. But I just want to get to my grandad in time!

OP posts:

Songbird · 18/05/2010 08:58

Oh dear, instinct was to say YANBU, but if you're setting off after rush hour anyway....

upahill · 18/05/2010 08:59

Could be a nervous delaying tactic. I do this when I have to do something I'm not looking forward to doing for what ever reason. I always find one more job to do. Just nerves.

Hope you are ok. Hope your grandad is comfortable xx

Fel1x · 18/05/2010 08:59

YANBU
If it was me I would tell him sharply that both you and your cousin would rather get there in time than have a hoovered car, and if you are too late by a short time then you will not forgive him!
This is a time to put your feelings above his worry about a dirty car!
I'm very sorry about your Grandad.x

Original poster

RiverOfSleep · 18/05/2010 09:02

Upahill you're right- when I was in labour he HAD to set up iPod for me before going to hospital. Sorry
to whinge on here but I know he's
not doing it to be a nob but it's sooo frustrating and I'm worried.

OP posts:

HumphreyCobbler · 18/05/2010 09:03

I am so sorry about your Grandad.

People do strange things when under stress, I would try to ignore him if it really isn't delaying you.

It would drive me mad too though.

DetectivePotato · 18/05/2010 09:22

YANBU, I would have gone really mad. for your grandad. My Grandad died in France and I wasn't even told until 4 days after it happened and then I didn't have time to get to the funeral.

upahill · 19/05/2010 11:39

How are you River?

biddysmama · 19/05/2010 12:55

yanbu... my gran died 30 mins away from me and i found out a 2 weeks later when my mum came to drop off the things she left me.. aparently its ok cos my brother was there to represent us

Original poster

RiverOfSleep · 19/05/2010 13:00

Thanks all. I feel a bit silly now, as we did get there in time, along with numerous cousins and siblings all tearful and sad.. then my grandad perked up and it looks like hes improving a bit . Apparently having the last rites cheered him up!!

He has parkinsons, its a horrible condition, but I am so glad he is comfortable and seems to have a little longer left than we thought. His sister had about 20 last rites so maybe he wants to beat her record...

OP posts:

scanty · 19/05/2010 13:22

YANBU, and glad your Grandad is till with you. 2 years ago my mum was suddenly and unexpectedly given weeks to live. I was there to help look after her in her last few weeks. I took some time out one afternon to visit friends for lunch with my husband and children. It all took much longer than I expected with several detours and I started to suffer what I can only think of as a panic attack and felt so gulity and helpless not to be at home with my mum. My husband just couldn't understand my feelings as he's never had to deal with that kind of close loss and thought I was being over the top. Know I'm going on but that horrible feeling of panic and fear and frustration is still quite strong even nearly 2 years on.

lazarusb · 19/05/2010 16:27

River, I missed the deaths of both my grandparents (who brought me up more or less) by minutes each time, once because of my ex , the other time just because I couldn't physically get there quickly enough (childcare/taxi). I feel guilty but sometimes life is just like that.. Take care, thinking of you and your lovely Grandad x

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