to think DD could save her meltdowns...

[Fibilou]

for when I am not in a 5* hotel having just spent £4 on a cup of coffee as a special treat

She is good as gold when my parents take her there - yet every time I go there with her she has a complete hysteria fit and I have to leave without drinking my very expensive drink

You're not allowed to use that term on here any more, apparently. But yanbu.

er don't go there then

stick to macdonalds

you are(people just hmm)
that is what kids do
but yanbu

can I suggest that maybe she doesn't like it there.

Or, more probably, you get just a little bit more tense once you arrive?

My DD loves posh places and has done since she was tiny but I have always been very relaxed with the whole having to get up and leave thing. But now she is The Queen Of Fucking Everything

I worked there for a long time, Pagwatch, and it's a bit of a second home for me so I don't think I can be tensing up when I get there. It'z really weird.

And I always leave somewhere if she starts crying, I am very conscious that nobody else wants to listen to my screaming baby

It's, not It'z. Goodness knows where that came from

Then maybe she doesn't like it for some reason. In that unhelpful way children do

It took me ages to get DD to like shoe shops

What's wrong with the term 'meltdown'?

Mmm, I'm intrigued by the meltdown thing too.

It isn't a big thing.
Just someone observed that meltdown has tended to be used by ASD/autism community to describe a child being completely overwhelmed and unable to control behaviour. It is preferred to tantrum as tantrum implies ...well deliberate/wilful behaviour by NT toddlers.
It was then kind of adopted by the wider population as a cool and groovy word for ...as a full on tantrum .
Some parents of kids with ASD just would like a term that articulates a child with ASDs inability to control behaviour that doesn't sound toddler like. Does that make sense?

I have a child with asd. I don't care who uses the term. I don't think it is a big thing. I don't think most of the ASD community care.

But I think sometimes people like to feel as though they are having their freedom of expression limited and like to get angsty about these things in a 'PC gone mad' kind of way

Thanks pagwatch for that explanation I have used the word meltdown before and also work with children on with ASD/Autism and what you said makes sense. I

OP sounds about right! Children have a fab way of knowing when something is important to us!!

My DS always needs the toilet in clothes shops changing rooms and bounces around holding it!! Wish I had the guts to call his bluff!

Um, NT tantrums are sometimes meltdowns! Toddlers do get overwhelmed by their big feelings! Do children with SN have a monopoly on getting into that state?

I suffer from depression, and I've had big, proper meltdowns in the past - often associated with things like panic attacks. Tantrum isn't really a term that explains it!

You're right - tantrum does mean wilfull foot-stamping etc. but I disagree that NT toddlers don't have meltdowns.

Ah. I have an Aspergers child, and his meltdowns are meltdowns - but I am not enough of a loon to think that other people can't use the term. All children lose the plot at some point, and I think 'meltdown' is exactly the word for it!

truth is kids just know when mum is sitting down to ralx and they will kick of(wonders if she can use that as we are not talking footie)

I was presuming this thread would be about how convenient it is when a child goes into meltdown sometimes, like when you're in a stupidly long queue; the staff move you straight to the front: Result! .
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So is the anti-nuclear movement still allowed to talk about the danger of meltdowns, or would that be casting aspersions on those with [Diagnosed special conditions whose carers want to have sole control of the use of their favourite words]?

( How can those caring for kids with SN (DS2 has mild SN, btw, and has produced some spectacular meltdowns in his day!) hope to achieve understanding and affinity with carers of so-called 'Normal' children, if they will insist on control-freakery? )