with my husband about my birthday???

[yummybunnymummy]

AIBU? My kids didn't realise that my b'day was today (they are only 4 & 5, but I thought dh was reading bedtime stories last night in a hush hush sort of way to excite them and encourage them..etc..). After I made morning tea and the paked lunches, dh writes a card with our boys to me, whilst I was ironing (and having to pretend to hide)...AIBU to feel hurt that a card couldn't be written before the day of my b'day???

The thing is-you got up made "morning tea" & were ironing-why?

Hear Hear - ChippingIn talks a lot of sense.
she put it far more eloquently than i did

4 years ago my (otherwise fairly faultless) DH forgot mine completely - so my then 3yo Ds did too. It wasn't so much the forgetting as the bottom of the range box of thorntons he gave me a week later by way of apology that pissed me off most. Still I can now end and win any argument by slowly and dramatically proclaiming "You. forgot. my. birthday."

Yummy, maybe you are being unreasonable but I understand why you are hurt.

My dp is off to Le Mans next month with his 21 year old daughter and they will be away for my birthday. Do I mind? Yes. Am I being unreasonable? Well probably if it was an isolated incident but this is our 4th year together and this is the 4th time he's missed my birthday. He even went when I was 33 weeks pregnant. He thinks it's ok because that's his family tradition.

So if you are being unreasonable, you aren't alone. Happy Birthday from me.

My dh used to "forget" my birthday, but that stopped when I "forgot" his!

Wasnt actually on purpose .. I was 8 months pregnant at the time, and I was lucky to remember who and where I was!

I remember him being most put out, and when I said, "well actualy hun, you dont really do anything for mine either", I now get a card & a nice present from him and dd since

If it does bother you, you can either do what I did (use a good excuse!!) or talk to him.

I am sure he would be upset knowing that it upset you so much

And Happy Birthday!!

Kathyjelly-that´s different imo.
Your partner chooses to be away.

OPs husband was there, gave her a card & present,but didn´t get her tea in bed or do things in the way she wanted.

I don't think a little forward planning on his part would have hurt to be honest. Forgive him this time, but let him know how you felt in a few days (calmly). Happy Birthday

I think YANBU really, as you have already told him how you would like things to be done for you to feel a bit special on your birthday.

If he doesn't care about how his birthday goes, that isn't really relevant AT ALL. He should be caring about your feelings and what you would like. Basic attempt made to make you happy on your birthday = least he could do, if you ask me.

DH is a bit shit about things like this as well - my first Mother's Day, he got me a card "To my Wife" - no card for Mummy! Some of you lot would think it unbearably twee to have a "pretend" card from a 4mo but I was really looking forward to it - and then to make matters worse, he added DS's name to his on the "to my Wife" card!! (He did admit it was an unthinking mistake).

It's not about the minutiae of how things should/shouldn't be done - it's about what makes you feel loved and appreciated - you've already told him, he hasn't quite managed it, you feel like he doesn't care enough to get it right.

happy birthday
loved ChippingIn's post and i would be mad at DH too.

your children will not let daddy forget next year.

have a nice day

I couldn't be with a man who didn't make a fuss of my birthday, I'd feel like his flatmate not his partner if he just acted like it didn't matter or it was a pain in the backside.

I don't agree with others who say that he doeasn't make an effort becuase men are different, he doesn't understand why birthdays matter etc - he doesn't have to understand, he just has to do it becuase he loves you and wants you to be happy.

I'm sure we all do things for our partners that we may feel a bit meh about, but we do it to make them happy and becuase partnership goes both ways.

Everybody is different but if the best my DP could muster on my b'day was writing my card in front of me I'd be hurt and upset.