To not want to deal with/cuddle my children when they are sick?

[Dancergirl]

I have a vomit phobia and have had for many years since my childhood. Luckily my children don't seem to get sick too often and when they do dh is often around (eg at night).

I can just about manage to put sicky clothes/bedding etc in the washing machine but dh does most of it. And I don't want to kiss and cuddle them just when they probably need it most

I know this is all part and parcel of being a parent and I feel so pathetic and guilty. My 9 year old came home on Friday from a school camping trip with a sickness bug - she is just about ok now but now our 3 year old dd has it. I'm terrified of her being sick again and, even more so, me getting it too. Loads of handwashing today!

Hi Dancergirl, I struggle with this phobia too, and so I totally understand how difficult it is. In some ways I am lucky because I don't care if OTHER people are sick, I just can't do it myself. So I can deal with my dd when she is ill, and hold while she throws up etc, and I have never caught anything yet (touches wood frantically) However, I do internally freak out A LOT!

It really is hell, this phobia, it affects everything. I feel for you. I have had some help with CBT and it really did help a great deal.

Being vomited on is yuck, I don't want cuddle DS when he is vomity either - but just have to.

I am one of those people who start to gag and want to vomit themselves when there is vomit about.

You have my sympathy.

Hello Notalone and Nelly .

Tis D a p h n e H a r v e y/
E e k a m o o s e/
M i n t y y here.

I don't go on the emetophobia threads anymore because I hid the whole mental health topic, but glad to know you are all still here and feeling a bit better about things!

Hello bibbity!

Luckily my children haven't had bad sickness bugs yet. But im the same with poo. When we was potty training DS1(3) i couldnt clean it up if he did it on the floor. DH had to do it. Ohh it makes me feel sick

Sick also makes me feel sick and want to boke.

I cannot watch things where people are been sick, specially things like Im A Celeb with the eating things. Eurgh!

YAB very U. When children are sick it is the parent's responsibility to put them at ease. The way to look at it is if they have a bug then there is a high chance you will get it no matter how often you wash your hands or avoid cuddling your child.

you need to resign yourself to the fact that you will probably catch it I'm afraid

I was going to berate you for being hugely U...but having read the thread, I think some constructive sympathy is in order. You know YABU, and you know why, but I'm not sure your dcs do, and as you say, this is when they need you most.

Maybe you could try to force yourself to cuddle your dd etc today, and see what happens? You never know, you may well not get the bug, she'll be a lot happier and you'll have made a big start to dealing with your fear. Good luck and well done on trying to face up to the issue

Yes, zippy79, its good we have you here on this thread to remind us all about sensitivity and empathy isn't it?

Phobias are, by definition, irrational fears, so have got nothing to do with being reasonable or not.
You know you should e cudling your sick DC, but the vomit phobia stops you from doing so.
Get help for the phobia and stop feeling guilty!

YANBU - my DH can't deal with sick either, i'm not thrilled about it but it doesn't affect me at like it does him. So if the kids are 'sick' i look after them. It's not him getting out of responsibilities either as he's so good with everything else with them. He'll do nappies etc without a problem.

YANBU - although I don't have a phobia, I struggle with vomit, will make me gag and heave. Luckily DH can deal with anything like this!

However, what I will add is, with good hygiene, there is no reason why you should get a bug from your DC.

I have never got one from my DS and to my knowledge, my Mum never ever caught one off us. It may be possible to alleviate your fear a little by clinging on to this.

Someone (Califrau? Haven't seen you for ages - are you still here?) who also has vomit phobia gave me the great hint of wrapping sickie child in a huge beach towel and sitting them facing away from you. That way they feel comforted but there is No Way of getting anything onto you.

By the way - YANBU! someone who does not have this phobia can never understand how it debilitates you.

I similarly can't understand my friend who tried to throw herself out of a fast-moving car (on a dual carriageway) just because there was a tiny spider in it . However, I can empathise with her because I understand the irrationality of the fear.

Glad to hear I'm not the only one. I know this is a common phobia - my friend's mum had suffered from it for years - and she has raised 4 children. It's so bad for her that when her children were young and were sick, she used to make my friend stay home from school to look after her ill sibling. And my friend still has a close relationship with her mum.

We're a v affectionate cuddly family and I give plenty of TLC when they have other things - coughs, colds, high temps etc. Hopefully they won't resent me for it.

I know how irrational it is - when I feel nauseous I have the worst fear/panic imaginable - yet I know that whilst being sick is unpleasant, it's usually over with quickly and you feel better afterwards.

heading4home - your poor friend. Just goes to show how bad some phobias can be. And unless you suffer yourself you can't really understand.

Oooh - hello Bibbity and Betty - I wondered why i hadn't seen you two for a while. I hope you are both well - sending you some very unmumsnet like hugs. Have you had any help for this phobia yet?

PS - Betty - were you pg last time we spoke?

I always hate-hate-hatedhated sick, used to feel ill/gag when I saw it.. but with my baby I am fine, he could throw up in my face and I would be fine.

This is because I do not have a phobia.

You sound like you do. Take the advice of others on here and get support and help.

Take care x

Would like to be pg, notalone, but DH won't agree to a third!

Glad to see that (most) posters on here are supportive and sympathetic towards the OP.

YANBU emetphobia is the phobia of being sick. I have it but I hate dealing with and hearing people be sick. It makes me . But Know i have to if dd gets ill, I just do it and of course will give her lots of hugs and cuddles. Go to your GP and see if they can refer you to some sort of therapy.