To Not Want to Visit DH's Step-Grandmother with a Newborn and a Toddler in Tow?!

[14hourstillbedtime]

Sigh. Families... Can't Live With 'em... Can't get Born Without 'em...

So, just got off the phone with (very nice!) MIL who thinks that FIL's Step-Mother is waiting for an invitation from us to come visit her (weird already, no?!)

Background: FIL's Step-Mum is DH's only surviving grandparent, she never had kids herself but was very, very involved in FIL's life from when he was about 8. PIL live on the other coast of the States to us, and rely on us to maintain contact with (very rich! literally rolling in millions...)Step-Mum. Step-Mum is Quintessential Strange Old Woman, who lives alone with (five? six?) cats and never sees anyone and never does anything... (cue spooky music). She hates to drive - anywhere. She will never phone us, but is always happy for us to come visit her....

BUT I've just had a baby (not quite 4 weeks old), DS is almost three and, um, lively in the car. DD (baby) screams in the car, OTH. FIL's Step-Mum lives an hour drive away. The thought of driving (to see SOW and her six cats - all of which I am allergic to, btw) with said family in tow fills me with dread.

Plus, MIL is coming to visit in two weeks, so I rather think we can all go as a family then, no?!

Am I weird for not wanting to go in the interim?

Is my family strange? Shall I lynch them all now or wait till we inherit the millions (joke, joke, joke...)

Going for a walk now with fussy baby. Will check back in to get the MN verbal lashing/supportive posts upon my return

Ha! Nail. Head. MDS - she dislikes her intensely

Long story short - MONEY! Her MIL holds the purse strings (they have their home mortgage through her - bizarro situation). Step-Mum is rich enough to write off the whole mortgage (then PIL could retire) and still live comfortably and to an even riper old age again.

BUT Step-Mum-in-law is v. v. v. strange and will have nowt to do with any money-handing-over scenario.

Methinks my (again - nice, I really like her!) MIL is trying to get out of the visit....

OK, baby just done poo so house-leaving delayed....

Oh, and we get no money through this scenario - so I can just sit back and watch the whole Money Wrecks Families Saga unfold....

(Before I get accused of money-grubbing for self)

Send some photos and a letter explaining that everything is so up in the air at the moment, and you hope to see her soon.

YANBU by the way.

How does your DH feel about visiting her? It is his family, so if he is keen to go, I'd be inclined to make the effort if you can. There are strange people in many families (plenty in mine, none of them rich unfortunately) and their unusual stories and personalities all help to make life interesting! The old lady might really appreciate the visit since money won't stop her feeling lonely.

That said, if you really can't cope / don't want to, YANBU at all to stay home until MIL arrives to help out. I think your needs (as Mum to a 4 week old) come first. Maybe you could send DH on his own?

Let us know what you decide! You sound like you have a great sense of humour.

Thank you, LionsAreScary - I only have a GSOH back home; here (States) I often get blank looks from people and often end up in trouble/having to explain myself....

Anyway, to answer you all: Problem Solved (and you're right, cat64, this is definitely a case of Doing The Right Thing) and we are all going to go to a mid-way point between our two houses next Sunday, so the drive will be less hellacious, and we will still have Done Our Duty and earned mucho Brownie Points with PIL...

Now I must remember to ask DH for the names of the cats so I can ask about them (and NOT mention the one that escaped, which was a big faux pas I made last time....)

Checked in to see what you decided to do... glad problem is solved now.

Stay on MN for appreciation of your humour...

You mention money a lot.