to expect DS to be invited back after I have done a playdate in Jan

[digusted]

??

sorry will forget it

No idea why people are laying into op so much. I think it's perfectly reasonable to expect some reciprocation but from the posts here it seems that many parents don't. Surely it's only good manners and all that?

YABU, my kids have friends round to play, calling it a playdate maybe confuses things. It's just kids playing together. It's often easier to entertain kids if there are 2 of them anyway as they hassle you less.
If you have3 more than 1 kid it's often less hassle if they are at your house rather than transporting 1 kid to and fro from friend's house whilst still looking after the other.
When I was young we used to just play in each others houses, the parents rarely had any say in which house we went to and there was definitely no taking it in turns.
Often this situation mainly occurs in kids who are too young to organise their own friends and who probably aren't that bothered about having a friend over anyway.

I know how you feel OP but you may have to get used to it. Because both my DDs love to have friends round I have always gone out of my way to arrange it and therefore, 9 times out of 10, the socials are hosted here. It's not always easy, both DH and I work unusual hours and time is precious, but I do it because I actually enjoy having their friends here and I think it's important for them. I'm possibly a bit of a mug as DD1 (11) has started just 'turning up' with a friend asking for a sleepover and I usually agree.

Not everyone feels the same way and with the exception of a few of the kids' friends they rarely get a reciprical offer. I think it's partly because they know I'm happy to do the hosting and they're happy for me to get on with it. What bothers me though is when my DDs notice it and sometimes ask me why they don't get invited back. I know it's not a problem with the kids as I'm reliably informed they are both a pleasure to have round (boast) but some people just don't seem to get around to it.

Sorry for the ramble but it's a bit of a bee in my bonnet. I'm not going to stop hosting though - in a few years' time they'll be spending a lot more time with their friends away from us.

YABU. We can't do playdates because I have 2 children whereas often the invitees are only children. Also I work and dh teaches from home. By the time you fit in dd's actvities it makes it impossible.

OP, i really dont want to be rude but seriously, you had this play date in JAN... its now mid May... how have you even stored this in your mind for so long..? It seems a bit petty to me. I might have thought a couple of weeks later 'i wonder if theyll invite my daughter round to return the favour' then I would have forgotten that it even happened.

Move on I say.

I've learnt that it doesn't work that way. I've had lots of children at my house who have never invited my DC's back. But I don't do it for that reason, I do it to help the friendships and they are actually easier than entertaining the boys myself.

It would be nice to have the invites back, just for my DC's sake really.

agree with foureleven

Personally I don't expect it to be reciprocated -thats not why I do it.

I could so easily be the one who has not reciprocated the OP's playdate. and actually I don't blame her for wondering why her ds not invited back. I do think that is polite but I am therefore massively rude because time just seems to run away with me and I am always behind on playdates. I don't like doing them during the week as my dcs are tired and that leaves little time for playdates and then life just gets in the way and I forget and so on.

I also understand the people who worry about the size/state of their houses as I always feel I live in an unsightly hovel compared to the palaces my dcs' friends seem to live in.

So basically I am saying it is probably nothing personal and why don't you try again.