to expect the exh to just check once every 24hours how his kids are when he knows they are ill.

[whoingodsnameami]

I honestly dont know if that is expecting too much, or whether my hatred off him just gives me an excuse to be annoyed.

He knows they are poorly, I told him yesterday afternoon. Everytime I find myself giving him updates long after I think he should have asked.

Stop giving him updates and wait until he asks how they are.

belgo, I know I should, but I get so wound up for him not asking I end up sending him some sarky text like ' your kids are still ill incase you were wondering'

And clearly he thinks hes clever or thinks I'm stupid. I put a message on his facebook 10 minutes ago, I know he has mobile facebook he he would get the message straight away, I have just a recieved a a text from him asking how the kids are.

YABU to expect anything other than financial support from an exh.

Elasticwoman.

YANBU but was he like this when they were ill when you were together? Would he call from work to check on them?

Fabis, no, he would'nt call from work, cus he wouldcome home after to see them, I dont expect much, just a call or text once a day to see how they are until they are better.

Elasticwoman, his financila support is a joke too, but given the choice I would rather have his interest in the kids health, than money.

Oh god, because, not cus

Perhaps by sending him 'sarky texts' will make him unwilling to phone you. Would you like to call someone who was clearly up for a fight?

Reply to his text saying 'ive just sent you a message about how they are through facebook. Did it not alert you on your phone like it usually does?' so he knows you are on to him!
and next time DONT offer info until he asks. Its only winding you up so just leave it until he realises he hasnt heard and makes the effort to ask.

Sorry but I agree with Elasticwoman.

You shouldn't expect anything from an ex. If he's a good father, he's a good father. If he's a crap one, he's a crap one. Either way, you shouldn't be wasting your brain-space or energy on it. You're not with him any more, his lack of interest in his children's well-being is not something you can control - you can only control your own response to it. Stop showing him how emotionally involved you still are with him by sending him texts, you're winding yourself up.

I speak as a LP whose ex has hardly any contact with his kids and is utterly unaware of whether they are ill, well, dead or alive. He is utterly irrelevant to me, I don't send him texts or Facebook meassages, I don't communicate with him except to let him know when school holidays are so he can arrange contact if he can be bothered. My brainspace is better spent elsewhere and so is yours. Hope your DC's are better soon.

No, I replied, they are still is but you already know that from fb, he did'nt deny it.

choc, it's not that I'm after a fight, he knows that, he knows how I work, it's just my way of letting him know how I feel. Anyway, it must have hit a nerve because he asked to come and see them for an hour.

Why do you want to let him know how you feel?

He's probably pleased he's wound you up, why give him that pleasure?

HerBeatitude, he does'nt always know when they are ill, he only knew yesterday that they were poorly because he was supposed to have them for the day, infact we rarly have any contact, there is an awful lot he is ever aware of, the only things I inform him on are when problems with medical or education arise, as those are the conditions set out through the divorce.

Ah, it sounded from your OP as if you are still involved with him - like he's able to wind you up regularly. Glad he's not!

Oh god no, that stopped a long time ago, which was actually quite alot of fun, because when he realised I could'nt give a monkeys what he did, he went out of his way to try and wind me up even more. But I cant help that it bothers me that he seems to not think or care much about his kids when they are ill, I send the sarky texts, sure, but never let it turn into an argument

Why do people apologise for agreeing with me?

thesecondcoming, the kids think the sun shines out of him