To Want To Give Kitten Away ?

[charley24]

Bit of background, I posted in March as our lovely cat Figaro (aged almost 1 year) was killed in the road.

We were all very upset especially DD1 (aged 10), we got lots of advice and decided that we would get a new kitten to help her (and us if the truth be told).

We found a kitten on preloved and went to visit, home was nice, and 5 kittens and mother.

We chose one (boy) and we knew there would be a wait. Anyways we visited a couple of times and all was well.

The lady rang (young couple no children) and said he was ready so we picked him up and paid the £50 (I know some people don't agree with buying kittens rather than from homes but we contacted our local cat shelter who said no kittens as we have a young child (age 5) and she only gave kittens to families with no/or grown up children. To be honest she actually made it quite difficult for me on the phone as she was trying to force me into having 1 year old cats who lived with her rather than a younger cat.

Anyways, that is by the by. So we picked up new cat, he was fine, came home, 2 little accidents then using litter fine, eating well.

2 days later the biting started and yes I know kittens bite, but he is actually quite ferocious and attacks both the children and myself (not so much hubby the alpha male). He actually has sunk his teeth into me on a daily basis and broken the skin. He has attacked my face twice whilst I have been lying down (bit my nose) and won't let us touch him, or stroke him.

As you can imagine it is impossible to 'bond' with him and to be honest I am worn out ! All I seem, and the rest of family do is shout and tell him off.

We have been trying methods such a tapping nose, moving him, ignoring him and water spraying (but he seems to like water).

We worked out he was only 6 weeks and 2 days when he arrived and the couple told us that the vet said the kittens were ready to go.

Last week I took him to the vet and he bit the vet, the vet said he may need behaviour therapy.........and that he was taken from mother too young and no vet would have receommended leaving mother at that age. He is now 10 weeks old.

My DD2 (aged 5) is terrified and cries as she can't even walk in the house without being attacked (I had to explain at school about the deep scratches on her legs, arms and even face. You would be suprised the strength in his teeth at such a young age, I have actually cried with the pain when he has bitten me.

We are getting no where and I keep going from, oh give him time, to I really don't think this cat is happy with us and we aren't happy with him.

I feel terrible......we loved Figaro so much and he was wonderful (he was 14 weeks when he came to us) and he was born is a house with children/dogs and was so sociable, never bit nor scratched.

So my dilemma is does he stay or does he go to a family with no children, or a home where someone is in all day every day ?

But how would I find him a home when I couldn't lie and say he was nice natured as at the moment I am checking his fur for 666 !

Please help, I am in such a dilemma and I really don't know what to do. We love animals but I am starting to having to put him in kitchen alone more often as otherwise my DD can't even feel safe in her own house.

Thanks x

I think the kitten was too young for starters. As far as I know they are learning social skills from mum till 8 weeks old. Kittens can be very boisterous, mine jumped into my bath and scratched me up, used to scare me by jumping up on me from all different directions from underneath. I don't think nose tapping or water spraying would work, TBH, what you want is a calm cat and those techniques won't really achieve that. I know there are cat experts on here who know more than me so I hope they see this. Also you could get good advice in the pets section

I absolutely adore cats and when I read your thread title was certain I was going to be responding very differently!

I don't think you have much choice, to be honest. It does sound as if your kitten would be better placed somewhere else. I know it would be awful but I think you need to contact the Cats Protection League or similar. It's not fair on your DD or the kitten to keep him in the kitchen.

I feel very sorry for you having to go through this.

not all cats are nice. i have exp of both ends of the spectrum. socialising is, of course very important, exposure to different people, and, as we all know leaving the mother too young is not good.

I had a cat just like this who was totally untrsutworthy and a grumpy git. i rehomed him when he, at about 10 months got really serious with his attacks on dd 3. I did wha you did, but some cats can be half feral, and just won't com eround. Some feral cats do come round, but they are all different.
It's supposed to be nice and not stressful, and tbh I'd take your moggy to be rehomed.

Thanks so much, I don'tknow if you read the thread about our cat passing, but let me tell you we love cats and no cat was more loved than Figaro.

I am torn as I want to keep trying but the situation is getting worse rather than better and I just feel quite out of my depth.

At the moment he is in the living room curled up as DD's are in bed (with their door closed)as they insist on this or the kitten will come and jump and bite.

He looks so cute and lovely and I want to love him and spoil him rotten but he just doesn't seem to like 'us'. My DD's are patient and not boisterious they are very gentle and the first 2/3 days were lovely, but we seem to have entered a nightmare where we are being attacked all the time. For example I can't let him in this room where I am as he will jump at me (I tell him no) a million times and he repeats again and again, jumping, biting, scratching.

I appreciate your posts and I am open to the idea of him seeing a behaviourist (oh dear, bet that won't be cheap) !!!!

If someone could say, yes in 4 weeks he will be fine I would be ok, but it;s the thought of years of this.

I had a kitten many years ago and he was taken from mother too young, he was different to this kitten (he was like a baby and mewed every hour of every day) and I found it difficult.

I just want to bond with him and have him be a nice little timid cat !!!!!!

x

Junglist

what you want is a calm cat and those techniques won't really achieve that.

You are right and I say this to DH, he picks up kitten and holds like mother and says no, or taps on nose etc, but this makes kitten worse, how can being violent back help ? DH says he is a cat not a human and this is what we need to do, he puts on his side and hisses at him as the vet told us to, but it makes him worse, there is no giving in and becoming placid !

It does sound like he's not right for you. Cats are funny beasts - our cat took a long time to come round to being happy to sit close to DH without scratching him. Never touched me. We went to look at other cats in the Cats Home, and there was one labelled as not liking men, which immediately took to DH. There'll be another home where this kitten fits in.

Friends took in a feral kitten who behaved much the same way. He was better after being neutered but was never a good natured cat & was always humping something! They never seemed to mind, but visitors certainly weren't thrilled at being stalked and attacked or humped!

Maybe you could ask the vet further about the behaviour training (no idea how successful it is for cats) or talk to the CPL about rehoming?

Thanks Piratecat, can I ask how you rehomed your cat ?

I don't want to lie and say oh he is lovely natured, great for kids when actually he is terrible !

But in the same breath I don't want to appear that I don't care and I am just trying to get rid of a probllem.

DD1 (aged 10) I have spoken to and she says she doesn't think he likes us and maybe he wants to go back to him Mum.

I could ring the original owner but doubt they would take him back, My sister actually was going to have his sister but then my niece was informed she was astmatic so sister said sorry we can't take kitten. Woman didn't even say oh If I resell you can have your £25 deposit back, despite the fact on her ad it didn't say it was non refundable.

Not wanting to be the voice of doom, but a friend had a kitten that sounded similar to yours. They went down the route of behavioural therepy.
It did work to a certain extent, but they never had the relationship with him that they'd had with their previous cat.
They stopped the biting and attacking, but they said that he never felt part of the family.
Reluctantly, they gave him to a farmer friend, who was wanting a cat to keep rats and mouse numbers down. The cat is now happy, he doesn't go near people at all (even though he was reared in a house, he wasn't feral) but lives his own life.

If it's not working out, don't beat yourself up about it - sometimes it's just not meant to be

The vet said that .
Tell DH you've done some research and found out that is the wrong thing. Ask him to stop doing it, he's scaring the kitten and will put him on edge. See if him stopping makes any difference to the behaviour. You love animals so it would be nice for the situation to change, if he gets rehomed the next person may not cope and he'd be passed on IYSWIM.
If DH doesn't try to stop rehoming would be best though

Thanks 3cats, I understand what you mean and thanks for making me feel less guilty.

I just think he would probably relish living in a home with other cats and having other cats to fight with !

Any advice on how to rehome and be honest ? There are people on preloved looking for free kittens, I would never take money for him but I would like to know he would be going to a home without young children as he is just not suited.

what about that plug ibn thingy that advertised atm? thats meant to help isnt it?

Yes Junglist, the vet actually held him and tapped his nose, did different things with him as he was agressive to vet.

I think I can tell the difference between playing and actually being aggressive, his claws are out fully and his teeth are immediately drawn to wherever he can get them.

If anyone knows the best way to train a cat I am willing to listen, but most of your advice sways me the other way and thinks finding a new home would be better for him.

misdee, someone mentioned that this morning, I might have a look online, any ideas what it's called ?

feliway?

is it feliway?

my mind is shot atm lol

CPL advertise feral kittens for an outdoor farm/rural life. Tell them everything you've told us, they're bound to have encountered this problem before and should have some good advice.

I am huge cat lover too, and had a very sad thread on here in Oct about our beautiful young cat Pixie who got ill and died of feline leukemia within days.

it is a very diffuclt situation youare in op, i know. You'd love someone to say yes he'll be fine by the timehe's a yr old. Even lovely cats are buggers when so young, but you always get that sense when it's not going to work.I felt awful having to pass him on. I contacted CPL in tears saying i really couldn't see a way forward. As I live in a country place i just said to them, maybe he can be a farm cat, or go somewhere he can be more wild? of course i don't know what happened to him, but I can only say I did my best.

The vets advice has probably ruined the kitten. Sounds like he's scared. If I were you I'd put a shout out to Valhala on the pets section. She's helped Mumsnetters rehome dogs before and I'm sure she has contacts who rescue cats. A good no kill rescue will make sure your kitten is matched well with a new home. Val is very much on the side of animals. I'm pleased you're responsible Charley, so many people would just pass on to get rid of the hassle

yes feliway .

Thanks I have just had a look at that Feliway, seems interesting.

Pirate, sorry to hear about Pixie I can relate, it is so hard, especially when you love them so much and seem to be a perfect fit for the family.

Perhaps I just want Figaro reincarnate ! The perfect Puss !

I am going to look into CPL and also Junlist, I will contact Val and ask for advice.

You have actually made me feel a lot better tonight, I feel like a Mum wanting to abandon her child!

I would never ever not be truthful about his temperament, and also never try to dump him on anyone, he is cute and I am sure that to someone he would be a great cat (he is dpeperate to get outside already and explore - but is due his 1st injections on 25th and then we would be getting him 'done').

x

Feliway. You can buy it online. My Nana had a cat like yours once. She would lay in wait under the bushes at the end of the garden path waiting for some one to come to the door so she could attack. We called her Lucifer. The paper boys delivered my Nan's paper to next door because they didn't dare go down her path.

We never really tried behaviorists. This was years ago and they weren't really heard of then. Neither was Feliway. So she just lived her life that way. She calmed down when she got old.

If I was you I'd change vets and try Feliway. If that doesn't help then rehoming could be option but leave to the professionals rather than trying to find some one yourself.

I had a kitten like this. I gave him cardboard boxes with holes cut out and cuddly toys in to hide in/ and cuddle up to. He spent 3 months behind the sofa/in a cardboard box ? he was just scared. We?d put his litter tray at one end of the sofa and food/water at the other?.
After a couple of months he came round and was completely soppy and affectionate by 6 months old. This was a kitten that needed gauntlets to handle at 2 months.
But I had no children so we could cope with the bites/scratches if we HAD to handle him?.

our cat has recently had five kittens and we have found homes for them all. all the information i read on the internet said that you need to play and stroke the kittens alot up till six weeks after that they are unlikely to be friendly obviously we gave away good natured kittens who were very much loved by three children, i think that even though you could try a long road of therapy for the kitten its unlikely you will ever bond with it to the extent you would like to perhaps giving it to a shelter where they could rehome it with someone without children and alot of time is the kindest thing to do for the kitten. you were just unlucky to buy from someone who clearly mis treated this kitten.

Thanks Kittycat, The couple were out at work all day and they said the mother was feeling lkeft out due to the attention the kittens were getting and their vet said they should be rehomed immediately, however when I look back I do wonder if it was because they were fed up of them and the mess/smell etc.

After all the mother cat was 9 months old and it begs the question why wasn't the mother neutered ?

Before Figaro was allowed out he had all his jabs and was done, it is the responsible way.

I am looking online at sites with regard to rehoming, I hope they don't think I am a horrid person, I will be sad in a way to see him go