to be annoyed that I have just been 'told off' for taking DD home from a BBQ??

[DaydreamDolly]

Have just been at a 1st birthday bbq, held by lovely friends who are great fun, and their 'kiddie' bbq's always overlap into the night and the kids go to bed whilst the adults get drunk
Anyway, DD is 10 months old, and is RUBBISH at settling in unfamiliar circumstances with lots of people around (don't blame her) and as DH was at a work thing all day, and I was on my own, I decided we would leave the bbq at 6.30pm so I could bath and put DD to bed as usual.
There was a pushy lady there, trying to be helpful I'm sure, but when I said I was leaving, she told me not to, that I should borrow pyjama's, use friends babys milk and bottles, put DD to sleep in her pushchair and stay for the fun.
I said, ah no, she won't settle and it won't be fun for either of us - to which she replied 'Make her settle, and don't take no for an answer' (in highly patronising way)
Earlier in the day, she had kindly noticed I hadn't had a chance to eat anything, so offered to take DD whilst I got fed. DD doesn't know her from Adam, and got really upset. I don't want DD upset so went to take her back and was told, 'Do not give in, it won't hurt her to scream for a bit'
Now, I wasn't that bluddy hungry anyway and felt forced into giving DD over, then she basically refused to let me have her back when she got upset! After a few more minutes of my poor little thing crying with tears streaming down her face, I took her, and was told I had given up too easily. I felt like I was doing something wrong!!
I am not an insecure paranoid mother, but I bet she thinks I am! She certainly made me feel like I was!
Do you think I am?! Would you have stayed, or AIBU?

God, I just want to cuddle and cuddle your DD and apologise for the nasty lady. YANBU.

Oh dear, it does sound this woman was trying to be 'helpful', but 10 months is prime separation anxiety age IIRC so no wonder she got so upset.

What Bumperliouzzzzz said.

Oh, yes it's a great time to start a new sleep routine in the middle of a party

Dd1 would not have settled anywhere without me. Dd2, have cot will sleep. Nothing to do with giving in, just different children.

Shaz lol and lol at supernanny comment too. Altho I'm pretty sure even jo frost would suggest that traumatising your dd with a stranger will help her grow up happy and confident!

Well done for leaving. I come from lrge family who often do/ say the same but as a single mum I know I enjoy myself more if ds is happy and we both sleep well!!!

sorry wouldn't suggest!

I feel for you, would be so upset if someone refused to give my crying DD back.

YANBU. DD would have hated it, and would have made her feelings so vocally known that everyone else would have hated it too....

Phew, glad I'm not on my own here.
This lady does have children of her own, an strangely enough whilst she was criticising my choices, her 4 year old boy was cutting all the helium balloons free... She didn't seem to notice.
I did firmly tell her that you cannot MAKE a baby settle if they are not comfortable in their surroundings but didn't seem to make a difference.
I'm just grateful that there are more out there like me, than there are like her.

How rude! I'm lucky in that both my children are very portable sleepers (I've just got back from an evening at friends' where both girls slept, woke for the journey home and are asleep again aged 5.5 years and 11 months). However, I would never ever expect someone else to put themselves and their DC through an unhappy evening just because it works for me and I'd NEVER interfere with someone else or even suggest that they do the portable baby thing... just as I expect people to trust my judgement when it comes to my DC so I trust theirs over their DC.

You are definitely not being unreasonable.

Thanks SE13 hope you had a good evening!

YANBU - some people just don't get routines and think you are being difficult or they have had 'easy' babies who settle anywhere - although come to think of it I'm not sure I've met one of these mythical babies. I think suggesting you stay was fine but when you said no that should have been it. She probably thought she was being kind (with the eating thing) but if it had been me I would have just loaded up a plate for you and let you pick at bits whilst holding dd. I think the pasting she has got on here is a bit harsh, her intentions were good (trying to let you eat at a barbeque, trying to let you stay and enjoy the evening) even though her approach was heavy handed.

YwereDefNBU

YANBU she probably thought she was 'saving you from yourself'

YANBU

Aduckcalledbill, yes she meant well bless her, just all a bit stressful! Thanks for everyone's replies, am glad IANBU