It's been a lovely day here today and dh and I took our lovely girls in to the country - picnic and explore at English Heritage ruin followed by a walk through the woods.
So off we go dh with dd3 in the backpack and me and dd1 and dd2. After a bit dd3 wants to walk so we get her out and she walks and we pick up sticks and admire the stunning bluebells and generally have a lovely time.
Dd3 says once or twice 'I need a poo' - she is 3 and potty trained for 6 months. I offer the great outdoors but she declines and as we've had one poo today I'm not too worried. So we go on till suddenly she stops and squeaks 'Mummy i've DONE a poo!!!'
And she had
a really runny one which ran straight out of knickers and down her legs.
I had babywipes and knickers with me but they were back at the car.
None of us had tissues except for me who had a tiny, tiny scrap of one. Cue frantic searching of the undergrowth for suitable large leaves, dd3 squeaking 'No mummy, no mummy, no , I want BABYWIPES, NO, I need new knickers, no leaves, no leaves' Well let me just tell you - leaves - even large ones aren't all that much cop for removing poo. We practically stripped a bush and just as things were looking up dd1 hisses 'Could you HURRY up , there are civilised people approaching'
And there were - Boden mum and three lovely, non covered in poo daughters.
Dd1 and dd2 set off immediately back to the car - to get the babywipes they said but I think it was because they couldn't stand public poo shame. Dd3 was thrust in a mostly clean but rather stained and smelly state and with a totally naked bottom half back in the backpack and we took off down the path like the hounds of hell were after us. I know they will have known what happened though...the smell was lingering and our shouts of 'More leaves' 'Ugh that's horrid' 'I want my PANTS' probably carried some distance.
So we did the walk back to the car very fast - and were very grateful for the scent of bluebells wafting over us. I was especially pleased when I stuck my hand in my cardigan pocket and pulled out the poo covered tissue which (ever conscious of litter) I had absent mindedly shoved back in there.
Oh it was Not Good and we met a party of elderly ladies out looking at bluebells to and they also looked askance at our sweating faces and semi naked child - who was still saying ' I need my PANTS mummy'
Got back to car and did a proper clean up hurling all things poo infested in to a carrier bag and was just feeling slightly better when I looked up and caught the eye of Boden mum - they obviously walked as fast as us and got back to their shiny car in time to see us with a carrier bag full of crap arguing over who would be bathing the child when we got home.
This too shall pass right?