or rather, WIBU when I commented on this

[SilveryMoon]

This is a fb status posted by a friend of mine.

Oh dear!!! Get up to find (ds) has taken all my wet washing out the machine, in the draw part he has crumbled bread and cracked eggs as washing powder, climbed up on the side to get a sharp knife to cut the lid off the glue as comfort!!

Now I think this is quite shocking and said so.
I was met by comments from other people saying their dc's had done similar, others saying about how clever this boy is, comments about how they are just copying parents and have vivid imaginations and so on.

I said that this could have turned into quite a nasty accidents and that I felt that as parents, it's our job to assess all risks in our homes to make sure this sort of thing doesn't happen.
I mean, sharp knives?
She later said he'd dragged a chair over to the counter, climbed up and took the knife out of the block.
Now IMO, if your 3 year old is capable of this kind of thing, you shouldn't have a knife block on the counter or not allow them to have access to the room.

AIBU to think this is quite bad?

I think you are being harsh on someone you call a "friend", OP. There are better ways to support a friend than whinging about her judgement in public.

Stair gates aren't completely childproof though - you won't know your child can open it until they manage it one day and get up the stairs/in a room you don't want them in.

laurie I have 2 children and yes they are very young.
I don't think anyone can watch their children 24 hours a day.
And maybe I should have said something privately if I had to, but I didn't so can't change that now.
lljkk I will and do support my friends. I used this term loosely for this particular person tbh.

Ok, point taken guys. I should have been a bit more tactful and maybe I was BU to comment on it in 'public'

"I also have a knife block on my kitchen counter. Ds1 isn't tall enough to reach, and he hasn't figured out how to open it yet, but when he does, I will re-think what and how i place things in my kitchen"

yeah... and when he does it'll be too late because he'll have got the knives already!

if you were really safe you'd have all the knives in a locked cupboard

sometimes children surprise you, sometimes they do things that you just never even thought they might do

you are over-reacting op

Even if it's just an acquaintance, I dunno, I think... that I would like people to be more understanding. We all f*ck up sometimes.

It's not like she let the kid get hold of her methadone stash -- and let's face it, toddlers sometimes do get hold of that and worse.

Ok lljkk I do see your point. It just pissed me off because of the jokey feel of the post.
Because i think she is a lazy parent, because she never disciplines her ds's and they get away with kicking other children when no one else in the play-group allows it and she is just winding me up in general.

I know we all mess up, I dropped both my ds's when they were babies. Awful, but I was mortified and really distressed about how my actions had put my ds's in danger.
She doesn't view anything like that.
The replies from her and others were filled with lol's and so on, and I don't think it's funny.

Yes, I think it did piss her off because she put a FFS on a reply.
She can't be too pissed off with me though because she has just clicked 'like' on my status

Anyway, off now to finish cleaning the kitchen.
Thank you all for your replies, all thoughts have been taken on-board and next time if I really feel the need to say something, I'll say it face to face.

My DS last night went into the kitchen, got past the child locked cupboard door and got a mini Christmas pudding (!), into the drawer and got a knife (only normal ones kept there but still sharp enough) and tried to get into said Christmas pudding under my duvet. THe only thing that alerted me to all of this was the silence! The builders are putting actual locks on all the doors in the house next Saturday after that so if I am bleaching the toilet, or something like that I can lock up each room as I choose. There will always be things around your home, I don't think anyone would think twice about their knife block up on their surface until one day their DCs suddenly learn how to move and climb on chairs! I think nothing of a glass lasagne dish in the cupboard, but in a bad run of luck DS could get into the kitchen, into the locked cupboard, smash the thing and then have a sharp object. Same with mirrors - I certainly do not put film on them all I spent a fortune on curved floating shelves to avoid accidents and recently watched in horror when both DSs bounced themselves off the bed! I don't think many parents don't have one of 'those' moments.

Our knives are in a drawer that the 3 and 5 year old can reach, and in fact go into daily for cutlery. The sharp scissors is there too.

They don't ever take the knives as they know it's not allowed and they could get hurt and they ask if they need the scissors. Pretty much everyone i know has the same set up in the kitchen and no-one has gates... none of our kids have ever taken a knife and hurt themselves/cut anything.

I think the key here is education, if a child is taught consistantly what's allowed/not alowed from a very young age then it's simply a habit to them not to touch/play with X,Y, or Z. Children shouldn't have to be fenced out of certain rooms in their own homes imo.

All that said your friend is an idiot if she thinks it's funny that her child is so utterly out of control that he did all that while she was in the loo! I was dying sick yesterday nad spent most of the day dozing and my 3 year old barely even made a mess, he simply busied himself playing. (and no, before someone says it, ds1 isn't a placid child... he's renowned as a live wire.... but he also knows there are boundaries)

I don't know whether this is true, but someone told me that an A&E person told them that the most common statement made by parents bringing in an injured toddler is:

"I didn't know they could do that".

You Have Been Warned

tulips yes, education is the key. My ds's are allowed in the kitchen, but only if I'm in there too.
But she said on her status that she got up to find he'd done this, then when i said it was shocking and asked if he was ok, she said she was in the loo.

hahahaahahahahahaaaa

DS picked his nose at child locks (and freakin' deadbolts!) and was the king of stealth.

Would love to hear your ideas on how we could have kid proofed the house!

He had to wear a metal bar on his feet to sleep for the first two years of his life (talipes). He would often turn up at my bedside after climbing out of his cot, and walking down the hall on wooden floors without making a sound.

This is just the sort of thing he got up to, though he wouldn't have touched the knives he had a very deep respect for my knives very early on because I banged on and on and on about how dangerous they were.

We had to houseproof the kid, it simply wasn't possible to kidproof the house.

Now at 6 his knot untying/lock opening skills come in handy.

Morlorth I have never once said that I have all the answers, or I know the right and perfect thing to do in every situation, what I'm saying is that surely we can all look around our houses, see what the major risks are and do something about it.
You did something, you ensured your child knew not to touch knives.
I choose to put a gate up, I know for a fact that the person I am talking about does nothing about anything her ds does.

I don't need you to laugh at me. My ds1 can be a right monkey, but there are some things he knows he is not to do.

By 3 both mine could open any childproof catches. Before that age I even caught my DD standing on top of the micro wave getting stuff off the top of the kitchen cupboards.

DS once climbed over a stairgate on the garage back door, into the pushchair and managed to open the up and over garage door by pulling the string. He had been playing under the sprinkler in the garden, I found him playing with other children in the street, stark naked.

If you got children like that you have to find it funny or you crack up.

DS was eating with proper meat knives since he was 2. We just taught him how to use them and what not to do with them.

IMO a child who puts knives in the washer doesn't do that because the parents have the knives in a block on the counter, but because he has not been taught about boundaries.

Yes, there seems to be few if any bounderies for this boy.

My two year old can climb stairgates as well as opening them. I have woken up at 3 a.m to discover him in the back (thankfully well enclosed garden) having put toys to stand on under 3 light switches to turn the lights on and weent through my handbag to get keys. He opened really hard to open french windows and was happily dancing around. Another time I have woken to cereal and juice all over the floor, this being despite having put the cereal on top of the high up kitchen units. He simply stands on chairs or other objects to climb. The final straw was a 5a.m wake up call of a very loud crash and the heavy 90s style 32'' tv on the floor. Thank God it missed him. It has since been replacd by a lightweight 22'' combi professionally fixed up high to the wall! I felt I was left with no option other than to get a locksmith to fit locks to his bedroom and kitchen- I appreciate I may get a lot of criticism but would rather my son stay safe. He has no fear. Nursery had to have their door latches raised because of him. He hasn't been badly brought up, I am always explaining dangers to him. Maybe your friend's DS is similar? I wish I could watch my DS 24/7 but I need to sleep, shower, go to the loo and as a lone mum it's not easy!

It's not that they haven't been taught boundaries, they are just very bright and curious children and haven't yet learnt to stop it getting the better of them

Thankfully mine grew out of it!

I remember the day dd figured out how to open the stairgate at the top of the stairs, she was 2.5 and it coinceided with the point at which ds learnt to crawl. I was horrified!

Fast forward a bit and ds is now 2 and manages to drive me potty emptying out flour/sugar/washing powder on the floor. The cupboard safety catches on serve to prevent my MIL for ever being able to get into my cupboards!