To not want dh to spend money on getting his shirts washed and ironed?

[iSplat]

Dh started a new job last week, and has mentioned to me tonight that the other people in his office have their washing collected and pay for it to be washed and ironed. He told me that he was going to get his shirts and work stuff done too.

I told him that it was a stulid idea - we have a washing machine, iron and ironing board at home and if he wants his shirts washed and ironed then he can do it himself - or I'll do it if I have time while I'm doing my work stuff (same as he does for me, if the situations are reversed). He whinged that he hates ironing and he's no good at it. I said he was a spoiled posh boy and that if he wanted to get better at ironing then he should practice!

I genuinely can't fathom why someone would pay good money to have their washing laundered for them, if they have the equipment and the time to do it themselves. Even though I work myself, do most of the childcare and housework - I still manage to not look like a scruffy oik at work! So, AIBU?

Lots of people hate ironing - I love it and have made money doing other people's over the years. If he knows you're under pressure why shouldn't he get it done? - and put your awkward things in as well!!!

It's not just that though - ironing is a chore, yes, but it's quite expensive (I think) and, y'know, we all have to do stuff we don't like. I hate ironing too, but I do it, or I look crumpled. And we could use the money on other things, like spending money for our holiday, or a nice meal out. I mean, we're not badly off, we do ok - but we have a finite amount of money, and I can think of better things to spend it on than ironing!

why don't you offer to iron the shirts but charge him the same amount of money

I'm with you, iSplat! I hate ironing with a passion, but I would be loathe to pay out good wine-money to have someone else do it!

Tell him to give you the money instead, and then you can do it and be paid! I'd love being paid to do DH's shirts

YABU unless you are struggling financially? If not, I really don't see the problem. Lots of people could technically do something but choose not to. Unless you had already offered to do it for him for free I don't get why you're so upset about it.

If you are not struggling financially, doesn't it depend on whether you would prefer the cash over the time it frees up? If your DH isn't ironing, he will presumably be a happier person (if he hates ironing) with time to spend doing something else and you won't have a pile of ironing cluttering up the place.

You could go to the park and do something free rather than spending the money on a meal out with your DH having to do something he hates to enable it.

Clearly if it's a matter of not being able to pay the rent or buy groceries then he'd just have to put up with it.

If money is not the issue, I would get the whole lot sent out!

Luckily DH does the ironing in our house (and is very good at it, much better than me!). I could find him other things to do instead!

I think YANBU. He wants to spend money on getting his shirts ironed? Is he offering to pay for your work clothes to be laundered as well or just his?

If he wants to spend money on something that will benefit you all as a family, then why not spend the money on a cleaner? I think his decision is a selfish one. Presumably you will still be lumbered with all the rest of the family's laundry plus the lion's share of housework (as well as working).

If he goes ahead with the decision, then tell him that you are hiring a cleaner and the money will come out of the joint/housekeeping budget. If money is not an issue here, then let him go ahead with his laundry plan but then ensure that you have help with your chores as well.

If it's his money, then of course he can spend it on whatever he likes. If it's family money then of course you have a say. Simple.

Sorry, didn't mean "have a say" - meant "have a veto"

I get DHs shirts ironed,and his going out trousers etc.Also any of my tricky stuff.The ironing lady gets them looking so nice...75p an item.I send a bag out every other week,about a tenners worth,gets picked up and returned.Worth every penny as far as DH and I are concerned! I still seem to spend a MASSIVE amount of time washing and ironing,mostly DCs things.Oh,she also does bedlinen,super king size bed,would take me all day!

IMHO you are being unreasonable. Unless, you really cant afford it. His shirts, his ironing, his choice...

Dp and i hate gardening so we're paying for someone else to do it for us today (yay!) Its paying for free time to do stuff you do enjoy!

if you live near a morrsions with a dry cleaning bit they are doing 5 shirts washed and ironed for £5 ,have to say id be seriousley tempted at that !

If he hates ironing and you don't have time to do it/ don't want to do it thenit seems reasonable to me if you can afford it.
If he lived on his own he'd probably do this. It's not expensive compared to a football season ticket.
Think up something you'd like to equalise things financially if you feel hard done by. To me it's no different to paying someone to do other household tasks you don't enjoy/ are rubbish at like decorating or joinery.

I do mind though! I hate hate hate ironing. But I do it because there are nicer things to spend money on!

I don't see why the options are: send dh's ironing out or do it myself. Why can't he just do his own ironing!? We have a joint account, not seperate money, so all the money is each other's - if that makes sense. And yes, he earns more than me - a fact that he likes to bring up in conversations like this.

He is in a foul mood now, because apparently I haven't washed any of his clothes. The reason I haven't washed his clothes is because he refuses to
put his laundry in the washing basket in the bathroom. I can now predict what will happen - he will cram the washing machine full of clothes, then cram the tumble dryer (cause he can't be arsed to hang it out) so nothing dries completely, and ends up smelling nasty and being all crumpled. He will then use this as ammunition for why we need to send his ironing out. If I suggest that the reason his washing never comes out looking nice is because he doesn't do it very well, he will shout that if I don't like the way he does it, I should do it myself.

It gets really frustrating - I don't see why I should scrabble around on the floor for his laundry, when if he just put it in the basket as it got dirty I would happily do it. I also don't see why we as a family should lose out on doing something nice because he's too bloody stubborn to listen to me and take instruction on how to do laundry!

This is why I prefer the system of keeping out own separate personal bank accounts from which we direct debit into a joint account for bills, mortgage and other family stuff.

However in this sort of thread there will always be the viewpoint that in a marriage all money is jointly owned and administered. In which case you are a bit powerless in this kind of situation, especially if the DH is going to pull the higher earning trick. It indicates to me that he doesn't subscribe to the "all money is joint money and we jointly decide where it goes" ethos quite as much as you.

Tell him "what a fantastic idea to have OUR work clothes washed and ironed for us" and how grateful you are that he's going to be taking your clothes to work with him to give to the laundry service.

We spend £5 per week on getting DH's shirts ironed (I wash them and cleaner then irons them). DH won't do it and neither will I and, frankly, £5 a week won't buy anything I would prefer. So it works nicely for us. Why don't you just give it a go. I would personally keep my powder dry for more important issues, but that's how I see it.

Hmm, good point about the coffee. I do enjoy a latte on occasion. And two Starfucks coffees = ironing.

I will back down on this one I think. Thanks everyone!

So, yes. My work shirts and trousers will go out with his stuff and we will pay £7.50 for the priviledge. And he is going to cook me sausage and egg muffins for breakfast.