to not "get" social networking?

[Joolyjoolyjoo]

Everyone seems to exist on Facebook now, and I just don't get it! I have a Facebook page, I admit, but only ever log in when I get an email to tell me that someone has messaged me.

What was wrong with e-mail? I can understand that people have busy lives, it's not always convenient to 'phone people, but I don't see the attraction in leaving messages on FB that all your other friends can see. So they can see that you were out with such-and-such the other night, but they weren't invited? So they can wonder what it actually is that you were so "mortified" about? So that you can spy on each other's "status" constantly?

I love getting e-mails from my friends- it's like a conversation, between 2 people rather than 100. I can write long, personal e-mails to friends and receive the same back, without worrying who else will be privvy to our correspondence.

All my younger friends, however, insist on FB. I just don't see what you get from it, other than the odd communication from people you barely know! I'm sure you will all tell me I am a horrible old fogey, but WHY is it so great? AIBU in thinking it isn't?

I find it quite useful for keeping up with what friends are doing because I'm the kind of person who forgets to email people. A few of my friends are also this kind of person so we end up not seeing each other for years! It's nice to be able to log on to facebook and see that X is now working in France, or Y has got married, or whatever. I tend to skip over the day to day stuff apart from with closer friends.

My sister os obsessed with face book, and I mean OBSESSED! It's all she does, spying on people and making boring status changes. When we go out she spends half the time taking photo's of herself on her phone so she can up load them straight away WHILE WE ARE STILL OUT
Recently I was trying to organise a big event with 2 other friends and they kept making decisions without telling me. When I asked why they said they couldn't email me. I replied that I have an email address but they said they meant a proper email on fb
Just because I'm not on fb they found it impossible to contact me?????
Fb is a load of childish crap IMO. There's nothing worse than going to work and colleaugues in their 50's telling me what my sisters been up to cos they've seen it on face book. Sad sad sad.

Ah-it's not just me then!! And you are a brightyoungthing (whereas I am a darkoldthing)

I really just don't understand- what's wrong with e-mail??

Bertie- I kind of understand the logging on to see who is where, but surely good friends will tell you if they leave the country?

The other thing I hate is that if I DO look at friends' FB, I feel like I am spying on conversations they are having with other friends, which makes me feel absurdly awkward!

Yanbu. I don't understand it either, for all the reasons you have given. And tbh I don't really understand how it works. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to say on it. If I want to contact a friend about something in particular I will text or email her. If I put the message on facebook then my other friends, who in all likelihood don't know the person I'm contacting, will get to see the message too. I really haven't got my head round it.

LOL darkoldthing, I'm gonna nab that one for myself ! Bright I may be, young I may not, Thing accuratley describes me
I'm thinking of changing to futhermucker.....

I've caught DS out twice telling lies on fb, and one was about me!! (sort of)

JJJ, YANBU, I can't see the point of it either. I'm too busy out there living life, so don't feel the need to spend hours constructing a virtual one on facebook. Don't like the security/identity threats either - who needs to know that I'm on holiday or who I'm mates with at the mo? Who cares, except the people I count as friends that I see day to day anyway? DS is 10, and desperate to get on fb, but he will not be allowed anywhere near it until he's at least 13 (minimum age) and only when he understands the full implications of it.

I prefer email too I enjoy having individual conversations with people, about things specific to our friendship, rather than universal one-size-fits-all updates.

YANBU I don't do FB but DH does and I was horrified when at the rugby club children's party my sister in law rang to say how cute the pictures of DD were with Santa that must have ben taken within the last hour or so and uploaded by someone there. (not DH) I think that the whole thing is an invasion of mine and DD's privacy. or am I out of touch & unreasonable?

I have a facebook page, with lots of people from ago. I basically use it to be nosy. I look up people I remember, or people look me up. I never actually post any kind of updates or whatever. I have joined twitter, but it mystifies me ever so slightly, not sure what I'm supposed to "do" exactly.

YANBU, I don't quite get it all either.

Thanks to facebook, tonight I spoke to my nephew for the first time in 8 years.He is 15.

Last year I was able to contact another nephew (different side of the family)for the first time in 34 years! he is 34.

Acrimonious divorces split too many children from their extended family, and at least FB gives us a chance to find these family members and to keep in touch without upsetting the applecart.

iwastooearly- But does it allow you to do it without upsetting the applecart?? Do you know that the conversations you had with your nephews are completely private, and that noone else will find out, or be upset? Or is it just being able to be removed a step from the situation? I am scared to put anything on facebook that I would prefer to be in any way private. I can understand it can be a useful tool in finding people, but what then?

well, good point,
In the case of my older nephew i privately messaged him, and then told my brother, his father, that we had 'spoken'
he was OK with that, and now as it happens due to a grave illness in the family, my brother is in touch directly with him.(also after losing contact years ago)

My other nephew is on the in law side of the family, iyswim and tonight i was shocked to hear,directly from him,that he has been in foster care for 18 months, a situation unknown to his father or my mil.

My nephew wants to contact his dad, so wwyd?
My BIL was beaten up by his exes new partner and access was very difficult afterwards, so he 'just gave up' Not a position I supported btw.

Ah- that is sad. I guess FB has its uses, then. But it seems to me like most people use it bizarrely. I'm glad you found your nephew

It has a private message option, and has the advantage of being able to include multiple people in a conversation. Technically you can use "reply to all" in email, but try explaining that to my not so tech literate friends and family.

I started using it so that I could talk amongst my friendship group who are now, sadly, scattered around the globe. I've found it more useful for communicating with multiple people at once, eg. for events.

I think the point of it is that it is less one on one than email etc.

But see, I like one-on-one! I hate those "reply to all" e-mails- I need to feel special!

My best friend lives in another country- I don't even know if she is on FB or not, because she is the one person I make the effort to e-mail, and love getting e-mails back from her. A generic message to everyone would make me sad!

Me too But like I said, I have 3 friends who were always like sisters to me. 7 years ago we all moved to various places (one went to Australia, one to America, us other two went to different parts of the UK) Facebook is the only time we can all talk together, seeing as we haven't all been in the same place - or time zone! - for so long. We tried chat rooms before FB got big, we tried email, nothing was quite right, FB has been wonderful.

Though, admittedly, I've deleted most people off my facebook. Hate the constant status updates.

Jooly
I wept sweet tears when I looked at the photos of my great-nephew and great-niece; they looked just like my own children.

I was 14 when their dad was born, but haven't seen him since, but I hope and pray that one day i will meet them.

I am still feeling very shocked that my other nephew is effectively in care and I have just found out tonight.
he called me the instant i gave him my number.He sounded so sweet and so, well,you know..

iwastooearly- awww! OK, your story is lovely, so might have to take FB out of my room 101 just for you! Hope you go on to build a great relationship with your nephew- exciting times.

As for the rest of you facebookers, I am still not convinced! Kaloki, I will let you off, as you don't do the 20000 friends and the status updates. But I still refuse to accept that it is a thing that everyone, everyone, everyone needs!

Oh it's not, definitely! There's been a lot of bandwagon jumping, though, it is better than myspace! And twitter!

Jooly
Thanks

I think you have to be quite careful over your privacy settings and to make sure you keep up with the changes to them. Employers are known to search for candidates on FB to get a bit more info on them and you want to make sure that anything searchable of you on FB would be what you would want them to see.

I also think, as has been touched on already in the thread, there are some people who use FB to portray their "public" image, constantly uploading photos of themselves having a "great time" and amassing friends at the rate of 10 per day.

Major advantages for me are the photos, especially of friends who live overseas, and the way in which you dont lose people when they change jobs/ phone numbers etc. I've got quite a few friends who I dont see often but where we are quite happy to pick up again after a 5 year comms gap. FB makes it easier to find them again!

I like Facebook as a pleasant way of keeping in light, casual, well-meaning contact with old pals. WRT hurtful or stupid behaviour on FB, it remains true that a large number of people are just bucketheads and would be bucketheads no matter what, where or how.

when i first joined facebook i accepted friends left right and centre. about a year ago i had a massive cull and now i only have family or close friends i.e. those that i seak to on the phone or see in person.

I love to see photos of what family are doing all over the UK/world and i want to show them what the girls have been up to, how their growing etc. Ive also got friends far away who i love seeing photos of on their nights out, it makes me feel involved..

I dont think thats sad. But agreed, some take it way to far!!!!

YANBU... Soooo NBU! Cue a rant from me:

FB is a social blight, puts me in mind of Brave New World, We or 1984.

I am 25 years old, so still young hip and trendy but personally I object to FB.

I have had friends say things about how pics of social events I have/have not been at are on FB, and rather than just email me some copies they tell me to set up a FB as that'd 'be easier' for them!

I agree it has uses for contacting friends or family in different locations or different countries, no probs with that.

But I cannot deal with Joe Bloggs FB messanging his 250 best friends who live an average of 2 streets away total boring 'news' like "OMG, am so tired after work, can't w8 for weekend, lol!" So fecking what?

FB and Twitter seem to be creating a culture where people actually delude themselves into thinking that every though idea and utterance needs to be public. It doesn't, it really doesn't.

I love facebook.

There, said it.

I live in Oz and I y'know what, the one of things I miss most is being involved in the trivia of my friends lives.

So I love the fact that my mate Rachel's daughter had her birthday at a farm, or that my mate Luke has joined Sussex Uni against cuts, or whatever. I feel that it helps me stay involved in a way that was unthinkable a few years ago. Lets face it, I could email 100 friends that I am hiding from the kids and swigging a wine and stealing their sweets - but why would i? It is the very essence of triviality. BUT I can post it on FB and feel like I'm in touch with friends 10000s of miles and a whole diff time zone away.

Ok, a lot of FB is apparently filled with idiots being wierd and bitchy but for me it's ace.

Not so sure about twitter tho.