to be a bit p*ssed off that DD pre school teacher told me that she won't be bright...

[josben]

DD (age 3) is one of the the youngest in her school year and she has struggled with s & l (infact I am wondering whether to refer her again)

she also is not that interested in writing /drawing - she is a very actice child and is quite physical - has 2 older brothers...

so aibu to feel a bit upset / put out at what her pre-school teacher said - do you think they can tell at this age - how a child is going to do in school???

How rude!

Einstein was a late talker.

What did she actually say and in what context did she say it?

I'd be really pissed off! She is 3! Some kids learn faster than others, but for the most part it pans out in the end.

Does your pre-school teacher have a headscarf and a crystal ball? If not, she should not make predictions!

Ds's nursery teacher said he was 'very bright'. At school he is having extra help and considered to be average at best. I think it is pretty meaningless at that age.

YANBU I thought teachers like that went out with the dinosaurs. If she did say that than she is , how the hell can she tell at such an early age fgs, chidlren change and develop. They said the same thing about me at school, non academic, should do cleaning or menial jobs. I have a BA hons with 2.1 and an MSc hons with 2.1 grade so there you go, so much for the teachers eh.

FWIW, my foster daughter (now 9 and in the top 5% of her class) was referred to a speech therapist because she was late to talk and seemed to "lag a little behind her peers". All children are different and develop at a different rate. One of the reasons many other countries in the world start formal education later than here in the UK is because they recognise this fundamental point.

That said, if a little voice at the back of your mind has doubts, make the referral - you can always drop out if it proves to be unnecessary and at pre-school age it's not a 'label' that will follow her indefinitely...

DS1's nursery teacher told me, at the parents' evening, that he was hopeless at communicating with adults, showed no interest in any of the 'learning' experiences they presented him with, and was generally hopeless and his year at nursery had been a waste of time.

He's now 15 and in the top maths set at his grammar school, loads of mates, and lots of outside-school interests.

(btw, he turned out to have glue ear, which was affecting his speech and communication, obviously, and it was suggested that I have him checked by a caring, professional, non clipboard-carrying reception teacher.)

The pre-school teacher is an arse of the highest order.

my nursery teacher told my mum that it was a mistake to send me to the primary school i was going to, as i clearly wasn't academic!
I got a As in all my GCSEs and A levels, a first class degree from one of the top ten universities, an MSC and when not mumsmetting am trying to focus on my doctorate!
I wish i could go back and see her.
I may have a lot of weaknesses (and am not blowing my own trumpet, just making a point) but being non-academic is just not one of them.

OLOPS I am , I am so glad that my dd 3 goes to a lovely pre school where all the teachers are so positive with a lovely positive attitude, really is a lovely place. DD is having communication problems, think that she is shy and has her own agenda, but the teachers are great. Talking about branding them for life at an early age.

Oh, like she can tell at that age. She's just being vindictive.

Me too concordia, I would love to see those teachers again lol.

I dont think you can tell at that age. Loads of children look like baby einsteins, and turn out very average.

How awful of that person to say that to you!

When ds2 was younger, he had a severe speech and language delay. He tested as being borderline special needs at 2.9.

Lo and behold his speech developed rapidly, from about 3.6ys onwards, and his overall development began to improve hugely.

For his entire first year in playschool, he refused point-blank to draw or colour.

He is now 7, and doing extremeley well at school. According to his teacher he is "a very clever boy" [smug]. he has tons of friends, flies through his schoolwork and homework, and has basically surpassed all our expectations.

That teacher is talking utter tosh - how dare she make such an ill-founded comment!

Your dd sounds lovely - and don't underestimate how a slight speech and language delay can (temporarily) affect development.

extremely

Ah thanks for your posts - DD has had a few problems with socialising with the other children - has sometimes been a bit aggressive and stuff (but I am sure this was due to her speech delay and the fact that she couldn't put into words what she wanted to convey) thankfully that phase seems to have ended and she is getting on much better with her peers

Ignore the teacher. I had a friend who was asked to leave my (selective, private) school in case she ruined the league tables. She's now working at Sussex Uni doing post-doc research and supervising PhDs!

My nephew has recently started nursery and as he is having some speech delay struggled to let the staff know when he needed the loo. He, like lots of 3 year olds, found sitting quietly for some activities a challenge. All the usual things that happen in the first week!

His poor mum was told if he did not behave 'better' during the next week he would be asked not to return!! One child was told off for weeing on the seat!!

At our local nursery if they wet their pants they are comforted, changed and clothes discreetly handed to parents; if they are little terrors parents are told they were a 'little lively today'. Obviously issues that are on-going are dealt with properly but there's a lot of affection and not much judging.

It makes me cross that such tiny people are labelled at such a young age, and yes I was traumatised by an old boot of a teacher at 11 and wished she was still alive when I got my first class degree!!

Oh and by the way, he's still in nursery and has settled in well!

Oh Piglet I didn't take her seriously for a minute; I used to help for one session a week and I got the measure of her then - she literally walked around carrying a clipboard and a pencil and barely engaged with the children.

I think I put her nose out of joint because I didn't really respond to her initial constant attempts to engage me in conversation, as I wasn't there to chat and didn't think she should be either; then I overheard her making a snide comment re 'X's mum has come back to haunt us' - hardly the ideal nursery teacher.

Earthymama your local nursery sounds like the one dd attends, so lovely and positive. DD is having some difficulty in communicating though getting better, they are very good with her. Will go to the S&L drop in on Mon do see how to improve her communication and confidence.

What a nasty and unprofessional thing to say. My son (5 next week) was a late talker, didn't start reading or writing until last Sep in reception and is now one of the best readers in his class (although I'm expecting that to change a lot over the next 10 years). You cannot tell for definite at the age of 3. What a daft thing to say to you.

I doubt she is even a teacher. She probably has an NVQ Level 3 like the majority of pre-school workers.

A HV told my sister that my niece (then nearly 3) would be short and possibly 'a bit slow'. (charming huh!). She is now 12, tall for her age and on the gifted and talented register...

I don't think that you can assess children properly pre-school. Okay you might pick out a precociously bright child (but that can 'fade') or spot a child with real difficulties. But for most children, no. I think even KS1 Sats at 6-7 are daft, for the same reason.