To not know how to handle this.....

[Boys2mam]

I found out today that a friends nephew (he is 6 y.o) was sexually assaulted by an older boy (15). Now, the exact circumstance is not yet clear so I appreciate I may be over-reaching but its got me thinking about how to broach the subject with my DS1 (6) and my nephew (also 6).

My DS only goes out to play with supervision (I'm outside watching my toddler) but he is allowed some freedom to roam to the local park (within 50 yards) with other children of similiar age and he knows to go no further and only for short periods. He also attends a Youth group at our local church.

I feel totally out of my depth. I chatted to him about it this afternoon, asking him what he would do if someone tried to get him to do something he didn't want to, to come tell me etc and obviously we've spoke previously about private parts being private etc. But, and this is my AIBU, what else should I be doing?

Thanks for getting this far

How do I have the "not-so-stranger danger" talk?

i have a boy who was assaulted by an older boy and it was weeks before he told . we want to keep our kids kids but there is also alot that goes on that we wish did not. if this subject is worrying you and it will give you peace of mind the go with your instinct and tell him as much or as little as you feel is right. but even if it does happen to a child often they wont or dont like to tell beacause the abuser threatens them, even though the child may understand its wrong or doesnt feel very nice etc it takes alot of courage for them to get up and tell.

Thank you kittycat. This isn't the first abuse situation I've been made aware of (and frighteningly close to) and thats what is freaking me out.

A good piece of advice I got was to tell my children that when someone tells you a secret know you can always tell one other adult, for example, if they know what I am getting fo rmy birthday they can tell daddy/nanny etc. It sounds a basic principle but it seems to have worked along with the private parts are private, noone should make you feel uncomfortable. My daughter will tell me stuff now she is older but ask I don't tell others (nothing major but important to her) I think it's important to have that always tell someone, it doesn't have to be a secret (don't feel I have explained it too well, hopefully you get the idea.

It's not easy to talk about, we have talked about childline in general, for children who don't want to talk to other people if they are being bullied etc, it's always important to know there is someone if you see what I mean

I am not sure that I would know how to handle this either tbh.

Minipen - I like your idea of the tell one person of a secret, I think that would work, especially for girls.

Maryz you have mirrored my own thoughts; I was just worried I was being naive in the wake of the "stuff" I'm seeing at the mo.

Ugh, I thought having kids was the lovely squishy babies

There are some sex education books out there
like this one that cover the whole of education including a page or two on the whole swimsuit area being touched is wrong etc...

It's a way do to it gently and as part of another conversation...he may want to talk further or he may not...you can take it from there?