To feel like a bad mum

[Confused101]

DD (9m) is going through a fussy eating phase at the moment, wont eating anything (not even finger foods) unless she is distracted by me singing nursery rhymes, her toys or TV.

I usually start of with singing, she gets bored so move on to a toy, gets bored again so I turn on Cbeebies. She loves this and will usually finish off all her food.

Up until a few days, I haven't let her watch much TV at all, its usually turned off whenever she's in the room. I feel really guilty for turning it on just so that she'd eat her food.

Is this really bad? I plan to stop as soon as she starts eating properly again (she goes through these phases on and off). As a first time mum, cant help but feel guilty about every little thing!

TV is a brilliant distraction for children and is not evil, poisonous or damaging so long as what they watch is age appropriate and they're not plonked in front of it all day.

Of course you aren't a bad mum

Hmm youre nto a bad mum but from experience it is a habit I would not start. It just bceomes too easy ot continue with it.

You're not a bad mum. Lots of MNers will come and tell you that you're simply awful but you're not. Whatever works for you and DD is fine.

It's all about moderation! If it's working to get her eating, then brilliant...keep trying other things, too, just so that it doesn't become the ONLY way she'll eat something.

My two (ages 3 and 2) love TV. They are bright, verbal and do plenty of other things besides TV. It's only 'bad' if you sit them in front of it ALL day long, with no interaction.

You aren't a bad mum at all...you are searching for ways to lovingly get your precious DD to eat!!

Whatever makes your life easier. Try to avoid feeling guilty about everything. I know it's hard but honestly it'll send you loopy in the end. Everything in moderation is my considered opinion (obviously though giving a baby Crack would be a definite mothering no no)

If you want an example of bad mothering. I have been letting my 3 year old and a friend play in the garden unsupervised all morning. This wasn't a problem at all until I heard the sound of metal crashing on metal. I went outside and they were throwing trowels at the cat in the tree THAT is bad mothering!!!

I let DS watch cbeebies during mealtimes. So bloody what - he sits nicely and eats! TV is not poison, it's not the devil, just don't have it on all the time!

arf @ junkcollector

Thanks guys, you've all made me feel heaps better, dont feel as guilty anymore.

I am scared this is a habit she will fall into but will slowly start to phase it out

I don't think you're a bad mother at all - we do whatever we have to do, to get by. But I do have a word of warning. I have a friend whose daughter got into this habit, at a similar age, and she is still in it - and she's now four! Literally EVERY single meal is a huge effort for the parents.

I can't help thinking: what would happen if you just stopped all this palava? Would the child starve to death? I cannot believe it. They would crack by the second day, if not by the end of the first.

Have you tried just putting the food in front of her (in an empty, quiet, boring kitchen), letting her help herself to what she wants, then when she stops eating, let her get down? She will not starve herself.