To say Hello to my neighbours?

[melondrama]

I've been living on a terraced street in friendly 'up north' for 18 months and some neighbours are very friendly. There are a few I've met, been properly introduced to and chatted with but who blank me completely when I say Hello to them if we pass in the street, leaving me feeling a bit daft and annoyed. I'm pretty memorable with my huge double pushchair

Are they wierd and rude or am I being unreasonable to expect my neighbours to return a friendly Hello?

Overthinking it probably....I tend to wander about in a dream.You've probably caught them on an off day. Keep saying hello though.

they don't hear you say it?

Some people are just like this. One day some of my neighbours will smile and say hello and the next day look at me like I'm covered in shit and should be shot.

You have to master a sort of half smile that you give to all who catch your eye, if they begin to half smile too you can then both safely progress to full on grinning and pleasantries but if they have the 'shit and shot' look you can quickly turn the half smile into a look of nonchalance and indifference.

pmsl @ ballpointpen . lots of my neighbours have that look .
op its very hard to read some people isn't it , just dont let their ignorance get you down

exactly ballpointpen

there's a husband of woman I see regularly at nct coffee mornings and about. chatted to them both about schools etc, he stared at me in slack jawed horror when I said hello to him on 2 occasions recently.

there's a mum and daughter, met at mutual friend's party who seemed very friendly but adopt a fixed downward gaze when we pass in street. these 2 and the odd music teacher neighbour, who I met at xmas party I've had to start ignoring too after a year of blanks!

I just don't like the rudeness and especially in front of my kids. 1 neighbour opposite always assumes air of super concentration on his car or something to avoid having to say hello, I spent a whole evening eating and drinking at xmas party with him and his wife and offered to look after their dog if they were away.

Now that there's a list I know it sounds as though problem must be me!! but lots of other neighbours are friendly or else just nod/ smile/say hello

It just makes me wonder...why they're like that.

At the risk of sounding like my mum "neighbours just aren't neighbourly nowadays" I've been in my house since december and I've exchanged nothing more than awkward glares with the miserable hatchet faced cow woman next-door, despite sending her an xmas card to break the ice. Oh well, her loss.

And we northerners are meant to be friendly! I always work on the assumption that people don't recognise me. I have kept my horse at a yard for nearly two years now and the mother and daughter also on the yard can hardly bring themselves to speak to me, and yet are all gushy with other people. It probably is me then isn't it?

Why do some people hate to say hello?

I have lived in more friendly countries, where it's rude to pass people without greeting so I did feel a bit awkward re-adjusting to British style but nice people often smile or say hello or compliment my gorgeous dds so it takes me by surprise when my neighbours who I've actually met ignore me.

I'm with scurryfunge - I walk around in a haze. I know for sure I have blanked people who say hello just as they are walking past me. And by then it's too late. Don't take it personally! They are probably worried that they came across as rude and will look out for you next time to make sure and give you a nice smile so you know they aren't ignoring you!

I think it's down to fear of rejection and looking like a prat, they'd rather ignore you first before you ignore them but that's no excuse for not saying hello back when someone has said hello to you.

You can come and be my neighbour! I'd be more than happy to return your "hello"!

In fact my ds (6) is always saying hello and talking to just about anybody he meets

I think there is a huge epidemic of social inadequacy (for want of a better word) in this country. It always seems odd to me to read books from the 19th Century and see that describing someone as "shy" was really quite a criticism whereas now it is purely something to feel sympathy towards (no sense that someone should make the effort to overcome it).

I think we impress "stranger danger" on our children, "seen but not heard values" still exist in many cases and we don't make enough effort to encourage teenagers sufficiently to be polite and conversive - and what you describe is the result.

I'm always astonished when on the bus at how many elderly people greet each other and seem to have at least nodding acquantances with so many people (in some cases just from being on the same bus day in day out I suspect) whereas anyone from about 45 downwards has a determined "avert eyes" approach.

I've seen one of the mothers at school nearly everyday for coming on for three years. We even sit near each other at our DD dance class, where only 4 or 5 parents stay. Every time I say hello or smile, she blanks me. I have a feeling I might have done something really bad to her in a past life!

My mothers has lived next door to the same couple for 38 years, my Dsis and I used to play with their children, but she can go months without getting eye contact with them now. (although I don't know if that's her fault or theirs!)

I know sometimes it is possible not to recognise people in a different situation, ie seeing the postman in Tesco, but I think people can be just rude.

But, I agree I'm sure that I have blanked people in the street because I've been walking about in a daze!

Aussieng - elderly people, over 45 - off to shoot myself .

I did once gush all over a chap I bumped into walking round a corner in Soho - thinking I knew him - only to realise after we had parted that it was Gryff Rhys Jones

Mmn, I think it's probably just a case of 'chit-chat avoidance', which I must admit I'm guilty of sometimes. If I'm in a rush or simply not in the mood for small-talk (most of the time tbh ), I am capable of the brisk, tight half-smile. I don't think I'd blank someone totally though, I wasn't brought up to be rude!

YANBU! We're really lucky with our neighbours. There are only 8 houses on our cul de sac and one of them is currently empty, but we know (and exchange greetings and Christmas cards with) all the others. The neighbours in the corner T and M are very friendly and DH goes fishing with T, and they invited us to their Christmas party. The immediate opposite neighbours are lovely too and about our age and we have drinks and dinner with them about once a month. We've never lived anywhere this friendly before!!! We are in the north too. You could buy the empty house for sale on our road!

our neighbours are lovely. 7 houses in a close. friendly, helpful, not in your face. couldn't ask for more.

Agree with songbird, it's probably just that they don't want to have to stop and talk. I find that my neighbours only ever seem to appear if I'm braless/harassed/nipping to the wheelie bin in a scruffy old dressing gown. I do wave but it's whilst scuttling back indoors whispering "shit, shit, shit" under my breath.

If I'm out there looking thoroughly decent and happy to chat, the fuckers are nowhere to be seen. I feel like doing a Delia Smith style "Where aaare yoooou?"

Its funny isn't it that if you are out in the countryside and certainly if you are over about 2000 feet then nearly everyone says "Hello".

Maybe context has something to do with it - as in people not recignising you immediately when they see you in a different situation to what they are used to. If the neighbours don't know you that well then perhaps they don't make the connection in time when they see you in the street.

I would speak to my neighbours, though frankly the lot on one side are barking and I would avoid them if I got the chance.

Whatwasthat - nope!!!!! Not elderly over 45! sorry did not mean to suggest that. More that there is a somewhere in between that I have not got pegged - although presumably that is where it all went wrong!

Maybe they are like my dad - he would get chatting to someone and be quite friendly. But the next time he saw them he just would not recognise them. One day he went out for something and on his return mentioned he'd seen a woman up the road who had said hello to him, but he had no idea who it was. On further questioning (description of woman, which house was she outside etc) it turned out she was someone we had known for about 7 years.....but he was just hopeless at recognising faces.

i wish mine wouldnt... i dont need to know how many poo's they collected while walking the dog or how they had to take one to the vet because the other one 'got at it' when it was in season..

Some peole have bad eyesight, it might be that.

I have a neighbour with Dementia who always re-introduces herself because she never remembers me