why do some single men do this....

[LittleMrsHappy]

be slezzy on txt messages

Ive just gave my old school friend my mobile numbers, as hes lovely and we used to get on really well, he knows I am married, and am very happy.

So hes just txt me saying, "when I have a drink I get the horn so you will probably get a few norty txt message off me" "boak icon needed"

Ive texted back and said absolutely not and if he feels he is going to go down this route of unsuitableness, then delete my number from your phone"

why on earth does a grown man want to behave like this, it is NOT attracted to woman, and is just totally inappropriate.

like you said BOAK

Actually the most nauseating thing about that message, IMO, is "norty." It is making me feel physically sick.

"get the horn" OMG yeuch

but LMH, it apparently IS attractive to some women. NOt me either - I find it as repulsive as you do - but I know women for whom "text sex" or text flirting is great fun.

Anyway - you've put him in his place - let's hope you don't get any revolting texts from him.

He's testing the waters.

God I hate people like that - it's oh so casual and such a giggle messing around with people in relationships.

Liked your response! Metaphorical bucket of cold water - bet you don't hear much from him again.

because men don't seek friendships with women. They may fall into a friendship with a woman and it's all innocent, but a man seeking a friendship[ with a woman is seeking sexual contact.

"You want to go for a drink sometime?" = "I will eventually want to have sex with you"

Eugh. It's like he knows he is going to want to send you "sexy" texts at some point and is pre-emptively excusing it.

And yes, "norty" = VOMIT.

He is checking out whether or not you might be interested in sex with him. His approach wouldn't necessarily work for me, either, but that doesnt make it a mortal sin. You have made it clear that you are not interested and that's that, so no need for the Monogamist Chorus to have a collective fit of explosive diarrhoea once again. It;s not wrong to ask a person if they might be sexually available, even if they are in a relationship - you don't necessarily know the monogamy level in that relationship or how happy it is. The person responsible for keeping a relationship within agreed bounds of monogamy is the person in the relationship.

OP already said that the sex text man knew she was happily married so he must have had some inkling that his advances would be unwelcome.

It's not the sexual pursuit that I necessarily have the problem with. It's "norty". BLEUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHH.

Agree it's no sin to ask, but he's not. He's pretending it's all innocent and above board but just 'flirty'.

But he is hoping it will build up to something.

I'd rather someone was more like what SGB suggests, being honest and upfront and then everyone's clear where they stand - who's into monogamy and who's not.

Single men don't do that to me

< wonders why not >

Snort

No my phone must be on the blink

A single man did it to me and it got me into a whole lot of bother because I was weak and stupid.

However, if he'd ever used "norty" or "horny" at me, I wouldn't have ended up getting into such a nasty pickle.

is that a website shiney ?

< commences googling >

Thought i would share my text from a ex friend to 'my ball bags need emptyin, there down by my ankles and gaggin for a juicy fanny'

Well, if he sends any more messages, how's my reply?

"I'm so sorry to learn that your drinking is interfering with your ability to maintain social relationships. I see you've already begun to recognise this, but apologising in advance for inappropriate behaviour while drunk isn't going to be a long-term solution. Please seek help from professionals now, before it gets worse."

I'd be tempted to also say, "PS: I was previously interested in you as a prospective bit-on-the-side, but I can no longer entertain such a prospect, as a man with a drink problem is too high-maintenance." But I always take things like jokes too far.

That'll be why he's single then.

thesunshinesbrightly

Someone actually sent that to you????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

cockend. Tell him to do one. Sounds like he'd be the old man in the nightclub letching over 17 year olds. Bleugh!

EricNorthmansmistress

Yes, he didn't even use the excuse he was drunk so now he is a ex friend, isn't he just a charmer.

Good reply OP.

I had a few of these on facebook after I'd accepted friendships with old friends. So sad that 15 years on they've turned into old letches that need to go online and send slimey messages to you. Urggh! De-friended quite a few old male "mates" due to that kind of thing.
(btw what does BOAK stand for, I've never worked that one out)

I don't get texts like that. Either a) I'm unfanciable or b) I don't have complete nobs for friends.