Ex's attitude

[Socy]

My ex phoned at 7.15am to say he is sick and can't have the kids tonight. I paused slightly and then said ok (he sounded really ill) and he swore at me as I put the phone down. I had plans (work related) which I've had to cancel as there is no-one else to pick DD up from bus at short notice. I got DD to phone him back as he's on his own and I thought he would appreciate some sympathy, I also asked DS (17) to call in at lunch time to check he is ok, go to shops for him etc. I have just received an email calling me selfish and unsympathetic!

gosh - imagine if he had an ex who didn't like him!

you sound far too reasonable.

Why are you even asking us. What a prick.

Of course you paused, you had to change your entire plans for the afternnon, evening and probably needed a few moments to think ti all though.

He's lucky, if it was my ex he would have had 50 questions about what was wrong with him, would he let me know if he perks up later etc etc.

why are you worrying what he thinks about you

just tell him to fuck off with his man-flu (or whatever it is..)

All this, all this ridiculous behavior - this is why he's your ex,.

Why shouldn't he then hire an emergency nanny to do the collection? You enable his behaviour by you acceding to his demand. he should have to ring round other paernts to collect the children and bring them back to his plaec if he really is unable to moev from the flat. All you've done is confirmed you will always give in to him .

omg Xenia they are JOINT parents if he is sick he is sick if I am sick I expect my partner to pick up his share of the childcare he is sick the responsible thing to do is to not have children around then expect him to pull a bit extra if OP is sick..

OP YANBU in how you responded he IS BU in his email

My x doesn't even have my new number. He has to go through my Mother. He seems to have a little bit more respect for her than he does for me.

It might sound very dysfunctional, having ZERO communication with X but I highly recommend it.

Emergency nanny?

You do not live in my world Xenia.

OP- he sounds like he was being a nob.

Yeah he was being a nob. I am happy to be flexible, and it does work both ways (though, of course, I never get sick!!) but I would just like a thank you rather than abuse.

He is a dick really - how did he know at 7.15 am that he would not be well enough to take the m that evening, also, it sounds as though they are teens - how much looking after do they take, surely he can pick up and place in front ot TV for few hours - when I think of how ill I have been but have still had to look after 2 kids under 5 all day on own! as I am sure many of you have had to. I think he has behaved abominably, and no wonder he is your ex. In fact, the more I type, the more I think "how dare he?"

Well most adults have no choice but to look after children when they're sick unless they are literally dying and if they can't then they find someone to do it.

what would have happened if he hadn't been able to get through to you this morning or if you really hadn't been able to change your plans?

sorry, just being nosey curious

What a luxury to be able to say that you won't look after the children because you're not feeling well. Most single parents just have to get on with it - unless they are so ill that they have been admitted to hospital.

He's well enough to log onto his computer and send emails so not quite at death's door.

YANBU. He's a selfish, thoughtless twat.

ok. bit out there but is there a chance he thinks these phone calls are to "check up" on him to make sure he really is ill???
random i know. but maybe would explain his email. doenst excuse it tho!