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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want to save our old dog...

47 replies

ChocDee · 11/05/2010 08:35

or am I being selfish?

Our wonderful, active and happy dog is 13 years old.

About 3 years ago he got knocked down by a car and broke his hind leg very badly. They had to put in a metal rod to help it heal. He was eventually (after 6 months) given the all clear; but 7 months ago the metal rod snapped in half and it turned out that the bone had not grown back at all.

We thought then that we may have to amputate but the vet said that that was not an option since his other hind leg would not be strong enough to take the weight.

So he had another major op inserting a new metal rod. That has now also snapped in half in exactly the same place...

He is in sooo much pain and a high dosage of morphine.

We have to decide by this afternoon whether to amputate the leg or put him to sleep.

The vet said that if it was her dog she would amputate - though that would not necessarily be the right decision.
She has x-rayed the 'good' leg and is now saying that it is in very good shape to support an amputation.

I am not ready to see him go. The front end of him is still perfectly ok and happy.
Everyone says that a dog will tell you when they are ready to go. I do not feel that he is telling me that at all.

But... it is my husbands dog at the end of the day. He had him looong before I came along so I feel that it has to be his decision in the end. I know what I want, and I have told him this but also said that it is ultimately his decision. We are both totally devastated at the moment but he cannot make up his mind. He hates to see Ike in so much pain.

I am not ready. But I will never be ready. And is amputation just delaying the inevitable? I just want to save him. But it has to be my husbands decision.

I just want to save him... but is that wrong??

This hurts so bad...

OP posts:
McDreamy · 11/05/2010 08:37

so sorry. I personally would be a little encouraged by the vet saying if it was her dog she would amputate. It's very difficult

Original poster
ChocDee · 11/05/2010 08:46

But she also says that the top expert vet who she would ask to do the op would most likely refuse due to his age. She says that if that happened she would do the op herself...

It is almost a panicky feeling. I want to save him. But it must be my husbands decision. And if it was the wrong decision to amputate and he ended up suffering worse because of it; that would be so, so wrong...

But putting him to sleep is final. With an amputation we would still have one more option.

I really do not know what he will decide...

OP posts:
LaurieFecktheToriesCake · 11/05/2010 08:50

It would take a while for him to get used to being 3-legged but many dogs manage it - the strength in the other legs increase to support the weight.

If it was my dog I would - but that's mainly to do with me finding it hard to live with myself if I didn't feel I did all I can.

Original poster
ChocDee · 11/05/2010 08:57

Exactly... I want to save him. But if my husband decides no I have to abide by that I guess. But if I don't step in and put my foot down? How could I live with that?!

and... in a years time we may well be moving overseas. He has done a long haul flight before - but now???

Oh, and how will devoted dog number two react?

OP posts:
pjmama · 11/05/2010 08:57

What kind of dog is he? For most pedigree dogs, 13 is positively geriatric but crossbreeds can live to 17 or 18 sometimes. So I guess it depends on how well he is for his age and how he's likely to cope with another operation and recovery?

If the vet thinks he's up to an amptuation and you just don't feel the time is right to let him go, I'd be inclined to give it a try. I do believe that when he's had enough, you'll know. It's one of those undefinable things but somehow you can just tell.

Curiousmama · 11/05/2010 09:08

Yes agree depends on the breed. Personally I couldn't have an active dog put down. We tried all ways to save our boxer but in the end she died of cancer but wasn't strong

Hope you come to the decision that feels right to you. It may have been your husband's dog but now he's the family dog.

Original poster
ChocDee · 11/05/2010 09:11

Thank you all for replies - it is really helping to quell the slight hysteria...

Ike is a stunningly beautiful Shepherd/Chow mix. For his age he is doing absolutely amazingly. I always said that he would live forever as a lot of people believe he is still a puppy when he first meets them.

If it was old age or cancer it would be an easy and fair decision. But to loose him because of a bloody broken bone??? THAT SIMPLY IS NOT FAIR.

I look at him and feel that he is not telling me that he has had enough. Despite the pain he is pleased to see us, and with an extra attentive scratch he still groans with pleasure sometimes.

I am just scared about what my husband will decide and how I will react if he decides that the most humane option is to put an end to it.
Because I know that whatever he feels is right in the end will be an incredibly hard decision for him. So I need to be able to support him through this no matter what...

OP posts:
Original poster
ChocDee · 11/05/2010 09:16

You are right that he is now OUR dog.

I feel very protective of him as I do the main caring to be honest and I nursed him on my own after the first accident (husband was away for the whole of that time).
We bonded immensely during that time and he will now come to me for reassurance, protection and attention rather than my husband.

So I want to protect...

But I want to protect my husband as well.

OP posts:
ocdgirl · 11/05/2010 09:17

if your dog is otherwise ok and would still have a decent quality of life, i would have to try the op, i just couldn't live with the knowledge that i didn't try to save my dog but only you can decide if you can live with dh's decision

Curiousmama · 11/05/2010 09:28

Oh he's a similar mix as my friend's dog was, beautiful dog. She lived to a ripe old age and was still like a daft pup It was head cancer that took her

Curiousmama · 11/05/2010 09:29

Might sound daft but could you put a pic of him on so I can send him reiki? Bella used to love it and you can send distance reiki. I understand if it's too upsetting though.

whatwasthatagain · 11/05/2010 09:35

I have seen dogs managing very well on three legs. I would have the op I think. Good Luck.

Curiousmama · 11/05/2010 09:38

yes there's a few go over the park,one is ancient but keeps up with his 2 friends.

ScreaminEagle · 11/05/2010 09:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

strawberrycake · 11/05/2010 09:41

I'd say go for the op (and I'm normally a heartless non-dog-liking person)

kreecherlivesupstairs · 11/05/2010 09:42

What a decision to have to make. IIWY, I'd go with the amputation, but with the proviso that if it was unsucessful he would be euthanised. I can't bear seeing dogs with a harness/trolly on their rear end. Very sad and a total loss of dignity for them IMVHO.
Good luck.

Original poster
ChocDee · 11/05/2010 09:52

Me too... I so want to save him.

We are speaking to the vet at 1 to hear the results from blood tests. She is checking that there are no other underlying problems.

I am so hoping that my husband decides to save him too - that will take the decision of what I will have to do out of my hands. Do not know how I will react or what I will do...

OP posts:
Original poster
ChocDee · 11/05/2010 10:10

Hmmm... tried to upload a photo. No idea whether it worked though?

OP posts:
Curiousmama · 11/05/2010 10:11

Sending un-mnlike....hugs x

bumpybecky · 11/05/2010 10:18

I can see the photo he's beautiful

It's such a hard decision. Our dog is 13 too and she's started to go downhill. It's so difficult to decide what's best for them

will be thinking of you all xxx

kveta · 11/05/2010 10:19

maybe change your vet?
slightly different situation due to the age, but my parents dog broke his shoulder when he was 3, and had a metal pin put in, which he promptly broke (by jumping off the same log he broke his shoulder from originally). He then developed arthritis, and was in a lot of pain, and our local vets recommended amputation or putting him to sleep (he was 4 by then). My parents found a different vet who managed to save the leg (I think they put in a new metal rod), change his medication, and he survived another 10 years, only dying last year from congestive heart failure. He was never the same dog after the break, but he was perfectly happy and healthy - if not quite so bouncy.

Smalline · 11/05/2010 10:19

If he were my dog and he was healthy and happy, I would go for the op, going by his photo he has lots of life left in him. Good luck.

darkandstormy · 11/05/2010 10:24

Sorry, I have no idea what to say, but I am heartbroken reading your story, thinking of you, and just remember that whatever decision you make, it will be the right, one because you will have made it with the love of your beautiful dog at heart.

Original poster
ChocDee · 11/05/2010 10:27

I trust this vet. She had tears in her eyes as well yesterday.

Unfortunately another metal rod is not an option as the bone is simply not growing back - and the metal rod has already broken twice in exactly the same spot. And after the last op we have really limited his movements, so it did not break due to a lot of stress to the leg.

Money is obviously no limitation but we have already spent well over 6000 US dollars on the last two ops. If we thought it would work we would gladly pay for it. And the recovery is so lengthy (a lot quicker recovery time after an amputation apparently).

But thank you, thank you for reading, listening and replying.

I really do not feel as if I can talk to my friends about it at this precise moment. They all love him and want to save him.

OP posts:
Vallhala · 11/05/2010 10:28

If you have faith in the vet that your boy can cope with an amputation then I'd certainly enourage you to give the go-ahead.

I comparison to our own lifespan, dogs' are so short and our time with them so precious.

From one dog-owner to another, sending the most heartfelt of kind wishes for you and positive vibes and hugs for your beautiful dog.

Val x