for work to expect me back after my sons operation?

[sazc]

I am deeply annoyed. my son aged 9 had an unexpected operation with general anaesthetic, at the weekend. i phoned my work to explain i would be with him for a week to recover. after 3 hours of being 'off' i was called and asked whether i would be able to come in at all this week?
i am more annoyed that i have never had any time offs sick in three years. it seems so unreasonable to ask me to compromise myself and my sons care.cross cross cross.

Do you mind sharing what it was for and how much recovery time he needs? Does your employer know the extent of care your son needs?

Are you requesting it as holiday time? Unpaid leave?

I hope your son is okay and recovering well

Are you taking holiday, or is it unpaid leave? Or do you expect compassionate leave?

I would have thought that if you are taking it as hooray they can go whistle. Likewise if you are using the unpaid leave that I think parents are entitled to. But if it's compassionate leave you may need to do a bit of negotiating.

Hope your ds is recovering well, and that it wasn't anything to horribly frightening.

I'm sure there are laws about parental leave... might be worth having a look online?

Hope he is recovering ok

Sorry you have had such a stressful weekend - I hope your DS is OK and recovering well.

You need to keep communicatog with your employers - let them know the urgency, what the hospital said about recovery time etc. You don't need to stay off with him fo a week simply because of a GA - but because of the operation itself.

Is there a DH or DP or other relative who can take a turn at any stage? Just to let you go in for half a day and take care of urgent things or delegate if necessary?

I think it's fair enough for them simply to enquire, tbh. If you can't, you can't - and you may need to talk about whether they will give you any compasionate leave, or whether you take this time as hliday or unpaid leave.

This may help

Well presumably they didn't know you intended to take the whole week as leave?
And yes it would have to be annual leave where I work
compassionate leave is only granted for bereavement at my work , I think

Agree that you need to know exactly what sort of leave you are taking (and entitled to) and clear it with your boss.

It's difficult to say whether you ABU or not depending on your role at work - maybe they need to know if they needed to provide cover for you or cover clients.But if you had a line manager it ay have been good to enquire how you were and if there wasanything you needed ?

I know that you have a DS to care for but they also have a business to run .

Ask GP could be barking up the wrong tree but I'm sure they can sign parents off when there is a necessary need for them to be at home with their child? - medically

Hope your son is recovering well.

my work gives a few days' leave for care of dependants.

I think this may just be a communication problem.

to be honest i didnt think about being paid or otherwise. i just felt pressured, as my concern is very clearly based around caring for my son.
I can see now that there are many more HR issues here.
maybe tomorrow i will 'calmly' sort it out.
thanks for your views

best of luck

How did you present your absence? Are you taking this as annual leave or emergency dependants' leave? If annual leave, assuming they could manage without you, then I think it is unreasonable to call you. If you are taking this as emergency leave, that is generally only meant to cover a period where you make alternative arrangements for childcare so a week is probably stretching it. Parental leave is meant to be applied for in advance and can be postponed by the employer so is not of much use when something like this happens.

Can you share the time off with family or partner? It may not be possible (depending on your son's condition) but towards the end of the week perhaps he might be able to go to a friend's house?

I think you need to check your rights here - your employers are not required to give you more time off than you need to arrange care for your child:

"You are allowed 'reasonable' time off to deal with the emergency and make any arrangements that are needed. There's no set amount of time allowed to deal with an unexpected event involving a dependant - it will vary depending on what the event is but for most cases one or two days should be sufficient to deal with the problem.
For example, if your child falls ill you can take enough time off to deal with their initial needs, such as taking them to the doctor and arranging for their care. However, you will need to make other arrangements if you want to stay off work longer to care for them yourself."

So although they may allow you to take the time as unpaid leave, they are within their rights, actually, to insist that you return after one or two days - although it seems unreasonable to us, you are not entitled to take the time off.

If you need to be with him could you negotiate to work from home for the week? That way your employer doesn't lose out and nor does your ds?

only a suggestion. It's something I've had to do in the past when dd has been ill - but even then I've had to call in to pick up files / documents and bring them home, normally wrapping her up and dragging her with me for the half hour it needs.

Not sure you could speak to your GP now as I don't think they can sign you off to care for a dependent, especially as your employers know why you want to be off.

Is parental leave relevant in this case? I thought it only applied if your child is under five?

Believe the rules on ages of children have changed for parental leave but of more relevance here is the fact that it needs to be applied for in advance.