to leave DH until AFTER the World Cup has finished?

[Portofino]

The blinking thing hasn't started yet. I already had to postpone this year's holidays until after the Final, have firm instructions to make no plans and now I have been sent this:

Dear Wife/ Sweetheart/Girl Friend/ Partner/whomever it may concern,

1. Between 11 June and 11 July 22010, you should read the sports section of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the World of Soccer, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be totally ignored. DO NOOT complain about not receiving any attention.

1. During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote control, you will lose it (your eye).

1. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don't mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me.

1. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell on the floor....It won't happen.

1. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to Nibble on (excluding your body parts), and please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return,, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6amm, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.

1. Please, please, please!! If you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say "get over it, it's only a game", or "don?t worry, they'll win next time"". If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me and your so called "words of Encouragement"" will only lead to a break up or divorce.

1. You are welcome to sit with m e to watch one game and you can talk to me during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only if the half time scores is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying "one" game ; hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse too "spend time together".

1. The replays of the goals are very important. I don't care if II have seen them or I haven't seen them, I want to see them again, Many times.

1. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because:

a)) I will not go, b)) I will not go, and c)) I will not go.

10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.

11. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying "but you have already seen this...why don?t you change e the channel to something we can all watch?" because, the reply will l be, "Refer to Rule #2 of this list".

12. And finally, please save your e expressions such as "Thank God the World Cup is only every 4 years". I am immune to
    these words, because before and after this comes the Champions League,, Premier League, Italian League, Spanish League, KPL, FA Cup, Euro Cup, etc.

PS
By the way if you get stuck on the road call the Police or AAA.

Thank you for your cooperation.

So AIBU, or should I print this off, set fire to it and stick it where the sun don't shine

I am considering copying/pasting this and changing she to he.

Nancy - too true, I couldn't agree more. However my DP plays sport himself, as opposed to dolling himself in a nylon replica top and going down the pub to watch other people play on the telly.

I feel your pain.

I hate football, the boyf loves it.

We moved in together during the world cup. The boyf unpacked the TV & spent the week on the sofa - still in wrapping - to watch every match.

The World Cup Final is on my birthday

I haven't forgiven my dad for not letting me have a party on my 2nd birthday, which also fell on World Cup Final day

Am resigned to not seeing the boyf for 4 weeks.

Why he's interested anyway I don't know - we're Welsh, & last time I looked they hadn't made the tournament.

Argh!!!

Roll on Wimbledon!!!

3 blokes at work have taken leave for the whole of the world cup..... So they've used up ALL their annual leave for the whole yr for three weeks to sit in front of the telly

Curious - that's what I don't get about football. If many fans feel the same about the structure and management of football (which I'm sure they do), how do they maintain faith in this illusion of it as a great sporting ideal?

Personally I'd rather watch rugby. The players aren't big babies and they are encouraged to have respect for the referree

GetOrf - I agree

How can anybody not love the world cup?

I loved it when it was in Japan and all the games were at 7am UK time - and you could watch a match and sink a few beers on your way to work.

There's a fantastic atmosphere in the country when the world cup is on

Ok. I have enjoyed the World Cup in the past (when I was a student frisnstance), but all the hype, and that email has got my back up.

Fantastic atmosphere?

Pissheads everywhere, World in Motion song on the Radio all the time (actually, I quite like that song ), Vindaloo, flags on cars, Bloody Wayne Rooney's ugly mug all over the place, hysterical post match analysis by Mark Lawrenson, WAGS clothing and we never ever ever win!

Have read back my posts. Jeez I sound sanctimonious.

I stand by every word though

agree re wayne rooney......they couuld try another player!

they've run out of 'poster boy' players though - Becks isn't playing, John Terry is still disgraced as is Ashley Cole and Rio has that weird, wonky mouth thing going on - Wayne 'spud face' Rooney is as good as it gets!

I feel your pain.

As a football widower I will be losing my DW and DS1 to the World Cup. I was given strict instruction to install a TV in our bedroom in December 2009, which has barely been switched on since as it is there only for the purpose of World Cup watching.

My DW is the only person I know who can recite every single World Cup result (inluding who scored and in which half) since 1974. I feel completley inadequate standing next to her as she chats about football to a group of blokes at a party. Other blokes think I am so lucky having a wife like DW who knows about football. I am very lucky - but I know literally nothing about football.

Can we have a special 'World Cup Widow(er)s thread on MN when the time comes?

YANBU, definitely not

Unless ... he has agreed to give you a month's vacation afterwards, somewhere fancy, with good looking waiters servicing your every need. He did, didn't he?

Yes, the email is a 'joke', allegedly. I was sent it one year (it was sent from one of OH's friends to everyone in a group we socialise with frequently).

The chaps thought it was hilarious; the ladies were pretty underwhelmed. I mean, it's not as it we are, under ordinary circumstances, hanging on their every word/pestering them for sex etc.

I couldn't even be arsed to formulate any sort of proper response so just e-mailed back: 'Yeh, go for it dude' or such like. That took the wind out of their sails a bit.

And I always say 'its a game of two halves' whenever OH feels the need to tell me someone is winning/losing/has been sent off etc. That usually placates him.

Ugh - what a sexist load of shite indeed. It may be a joke, but I ain't laughing

Thank goodness, my DH has no interest whatsoever in football - me and DD will have a little look at some of the games as I have a passing interest

And anyway, I'm Scottish so I don't mind who wins

Nancy - so agree with you re Rio Ferdinand and his wierd wonky mouth, it looks like it has been stretched to accomodate a boat or something, then is all slack as a result.

There is not ONE good looking footballer playing anyway. Not that that would enduce me to watch 90 minutes of boredom alleviated by 1 minute of running/goal/attack action. No sirree.

Can't wait for the World Cup here

Kids, neighbours, friends - all really looking forward to it and have barbecues planned etc etc etc.

However, if my DH sent me an email like that, I would wring his bloody neck!!!!!!!!

Well if you are going to break up with him you may just as well leave the country because all of your friends and family, even the ones who claim to hate football will turn in to en-ger-land chanting yobs for the entire 4 weeks anyway.

Eurgh its disgusting, depressing and it makes me want to cry.

I always enjoy the World Cup - it can be quite exciting. But I will never be involved to the extend my OH is.

Instead I will take advantage of the fact that he will be in front of the TV loads and I will plans lots of outings & things I want to do in the evenings. DD will sleep through it all.

By laurielou
"The World Cup Final is on my birthday

I haven't forgiven my dad for not letting me have a party on my 2nd birthday, which also fell on World Cup Final day"

your dad was probably getting his own back for what my dad had to suffer!
i was born on FA cup final day. My mum went into labour at lunchtime, and i was born at 25 to 6. the matron wouldn't allow my dad to listen to the radio in the waiting room (and he wasn't allowed to leave!) so he missed the entire match.
i made up for it by being a big football fan, and being a vehement Notts County fan.

OP: you should leave him: even though you are aware that he will be obsessing over football for the time perios, that email is just horrid, mysogynistic crap.
i would definitely burn it and shove it up his arse.
and insist on 20million nice massages inbetween the world cup and the new season starting.