to think my son comes first and I will not be guilt-tripped into attending a staff meeting when he is ill.

[TheLadyOfTheGreenKirtle]

ds has a nasty cold, high temp and cough. he is very quiet and has been sitting on sofa not wanting to move. I work 7.5hrs pw for a well known frozen food specialist and we have a staff meeting today - new lines, mystery shop etc basically nothing new that a trained slug couldnt pick up. mil was supposed to look after him, but she isnt well herself and isnt up to looking after an ill child. my parents are a nightmare.

anyway, just rang boss to say Ive tried to sort ut a sitter but cant so will be unable to make it and he was really arsey. told me that i will be the only person not attending so he will have to go over it all again and I HAVE to be there.

short of taking my sick 5yo into the staff meeting with me I dnt know wtf he expects of me.

AAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHJHHHHHHH

You know YABNU. What a twit of a boss. IIWY, I'd be tempted to take child in and let him sneeze and snot over everyone there.

Threaten to take sick 5 year old and give everyone else the lurg?

How unreasonable.

Ask him to tape it so you can listen to all that was said.
If its a meeting then somebody will be takingminutes - again you coud read them .
Can he not do a conference call with you so you can listen to all the updates?

He is obviously somebody who either does not look after children or who has somebody to do that for him .
Tell him to go stick his ego in the frozen peas.....

rosa, noone will be taking minutes, not that type of meeting. im furious. im really tempted to take ds in with me and get him to leave a snail trail on bosses tie just to teach the twunt a lesson

Of course YANBU. You just need a rant really don't you?

My last boss was like this. She couldn't understand why DS was unable to go back to nursery the day after leaving hospital having spent 6 weeks in traction. Erm, maybe because he can't walk?!

kitty, you're right. i do just need a shout (i rarely post in AIBU unless i know im not - delicate disposition me ) at your boss, what planet are they on?

considering you only work 7.5 hours he is being very unreasonable on this one

I do question why it ALWAYS seems to be the woman that cant work though?

It does harm women sometimes I think

I know. they must have some sort of lobotomy as soon as they are promoted.

The only thing that would ever shut my boss up (only officially mind, she'd still make snidey comments) was when I presented her with a doctor's letter or something of the like kto 'prove' that DS was ill.

It's bloody madness!

I hope you sort your boss out somehow

Can you not call in on a conference call for the meeting?

Hmm, of course your son does come first, but what about your ds's father? Why couldn't he look after him? I line-manage three women and tbh, it does piss me off that they're always the ones to take time off to look after sick children. It doesn't seem to even occur to them to get their partner to take a turn. It does make you wonder how seriously they view their jobs.

dh works in brum and doesnt get home til 7, meeting is 1hr and at 6. pre ds i was the main earner so stuff like this is frustrating in the non-mummified part of my brain

Why can't your dh leave work an hour early?!

Does this meeting take place during your contracted hours? If not, then he has no right to expect you to attend regardless of whether your dc is ill or not. Even if it does, caring for your dc is the priority and he would be discriminating against you if he gets arsey. I'd be inclined to point this out to him.

its a temp position and he gets paid twice as much as me an hour. he really cant leave any earlier. he is hoping to get a permanent contract out of it.

Was about to suggest conf call, I see GetOrf has got there first though.

Or they could record the meeting on a dictation thingy* and you could listen later?

*technical term

If you have a generally excellent work attendance record, it's worth pointing that out.

saslou, nope, its even out of opening hours. i only do 2 days a weeks. i do the date/temp checks and paperwork so most of the stuff in the meeting isnt even relevant to me.

kind of agree with Daisymoo, rather than getting all legal and fighty with him, why not say "OK, I will see if I can get a babysitter. If I cant, are you OK for me to join via teleconfernce"

then at least that way you are trying?

Look, I can see that it isn't easy for you to be at this meeting. But I also think that presumably this job is reasonably important to you or you wouldn't be doing it, and it wouldn't hurt to at least try and get someone for an hour. As employees we expect and demand to be treated with some flexibility (eg having the right to take the day off because we have a sick child) and it doesn't hurt to try and be a bit flexible ourselves, if only to show willing.

hmm, teleconference wouldnt work, meeting is in staffroom so no phone and generally disintigrates into shouting and rude jokes.

i do understand the people who say "why is it always the women" and pre-ds i would have agreed with you but I am a ft mum and pt shop worker. I gave up my restaurant manager job when ds was born (couldnt combine hours with motherhood) I turned down a promotion to duty manager in this shop because I dont want to and cant afford to work ft on the hours they wanted me to do.

daisymoo, ive tried to get a babysitter. I cant.

then explain this to boss, say you have tried every option, you are really sorry but you cant get a babysitter as its not your usual working hours, sorry sorry bla bla bla

just dont get pissy and legl as some have advised!

its hard

Fair enuff.

lol dont worry, am a total pussycat when it comes to confrontation, no chance of me getting pissy. Ive explained to him that I cant and we left it as I would continue trying. i have and no go

To me it is clear.You have taken a job to fit around your dc. Your employer is asking more of you than you initially agreed to do. You are not obliged to attend anything outside of your proper hours. Under normal circumstances you would accommodate his request, but these are not normal circumstances. I think he has been quite rude to you and mostly because of his attitude I would be telling him to fuck right off (possibly put more diplomatically than that though)!

Meant to add that although I am sounding very pissy, it is because he has been quite rude and totally unsympathetic to you. He does not seen to get that you can't magic a babysitter up out of thin air so you can go into work at a time when you wouldn't ordinarily be doing so. I tend to respond to people the way they are with me, so if my boss was polite and helpful I would be bending over backwards to help, but sometimes this isn't possible. If my boss was rude and seemmed to be taking the piss, my response would match his, but that's just me!