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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

So sad.

23 replies

onlyone · 09/05/2010 14:15

Not sure whether this is the right place to post but feeling so sad for my self and my little one.

this morning my husband of 13 yrs got up and told me he is leaving us and moving in with one of our family friends and her kids.

Am so sad for my little one, hurt so much and feel so stupid for not realising what was going on.

Someone care to tell me when it stops hurting and you stop crying.

OP posts:

traceybath · 09/05/2010 14:17

How awful - may be best to post this in relationships though.

compo · 09/05/2010 14:19

how awful for you

have you got family and friends you can talk to?

AgentZigzag · 09/05/2010 14:28

Oh my goodness, what a terrible thing to happen to you and your LO.

sarah293 · 09/05/2010 14:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

confuseddoiordonti · 09/05/2010 14:30

Oh dear - really sorry for you.

Have you got family / close friends who can lend a shoulder?

I can't speculate as to when it stops hurting but it will - but you need time to acclimatize and come to terms first. But, it will happen eventually! Promise!

Wineonafridaynight · 09/05/2010 14:31

Goodness. I hope you are OK. Thinking of you. Is there anyone near by to talk to?

confuseddoiordonti · 09/05/2010 14:32

Agree, you need people to rally round and soften the blow. It'll help hugely.

OrganicHairbrush · 09/05/2010 14:32

I'm so sorry. Like others have said... anyone there to support you?

OurLadyOfPerpetualSupper · 09/05/2010 14:37

What a hideous thing to happen.

I hope you have RL support - lots of posters here have unfortunately been through similar, so do keep posting if you need to.

Doogle2 · 09/05/2010 14:41

I am so sorry. I really think you need to have someone round to give you some support. Call someone today.

ShadeofViolet · 09/05/2010 14:51

So sorry to hear this.

I agree you might be better to post this in relationships

Jaybird37 · 09/05/2010 15:02

Really sorry to hear this. Your little one will be OK, if you are OK.

It will get better. Allow yourself some space for self-indulgence and if you cannot face making a nice Sunday for your little one then find a friend who will take hi/ her for the day.

Thinking of you though.

xstitch · 09/05/2010 15:13

Thinking of you. Just concentrate on yourself and dc and it will eventually get better.

LoveBeingAHungParliament · 09/05/2010 15:21

You poor thing. Please call someone in rl to be with you.

lazarusb · 09/05/2010 15:32

Give yourself time to deal with this. You will feel lots of (sometimes conflicting) emotions. Remind of yourself of the strong,confident person you are when you are ready to. In the meantime, get all the support/ hot baths/ tissues etc. you need. Take care of yourself & your little one, they love you to bits! It will get better

MoonFaceMama · 09/05/2010 15:34

Sending you lots of love. Wish i had some wise words but it's just hugs i'm afraid.x

Poohbearsmom · 09/05/2010 15:43

O my poor girl this is awful you must be in so much pain right now
you deserve better, no one deserves this
all i can offer is a hug and a shoulder if ya need it xxx

Original poster

onlyone · 09/05/2010 16:56

Trusted her - had her phoning me at 0200 because she thought her other half had taken an OD.

He just seems to have forgotten our little one, will move into a place so her children get into a good school but our dc does not count.

Apparently, I do not need him and he ahs been unhappy for the past 20 yrs and is finally doing somehting for himself. Makes me feel like I have been living a lie for half of my life.

OP posts:

cocolepew · 09/05/2010 16:59

How awful, I'm so sorry.

Sn0wflake · 09/05/2010 17:10

Close yourself off from him for the moment. Just cut off. He will say some things he will regret later. When people do this sort of thing they don't think straight.

Get him out and don't ask for too much explanation. When time has passed he will see things more clearly and you will get a clearer picture from him.

Go to family. Get some friends around you. He will just be poisonous at the moment.

I hope you are OK.

drloves8 · 09/05/2010 17:11

onlyone im so sorry this has happened.
i know how awful it is to be betrayed this way , and i promise you ,it will get better.
stay strong ,and know that you deserve much much better .

drloves8 · 09/05/2010 17:16

I second dont speak to him at the moment....he will be vile ,then you`ll be understandably verbally nasty back.( its a warped way of justifying what hes done , think they learn it at school -o level in slimebag cheating )
much better to have a dignified silence.
It would be better to speak to a lawyer asap.

Tiredmumno1 · 09/05/2010 17:29

Hi onlyone i just wanted to say if you ever wanted a chat there are a few of us on here that are usually around, if you come on the just to say... thread, and introduce yourself.

we are there if you need us

Flip