to tackle granmother regarding her dog which snapped at my 3 yo DD????

[thinker]

Recently my daughter was jumping about on the sofa playing next to my mum and her jack russel, and she kind of jumped on the dog accidentally and the dog snarled and snapped at her, but did not connect thank goodness. I have seen this as a warning snap and I dont blame the dog at all. Last night I was discussing this with mum and said that we ought to do something to prevent it happening again. She became extremely defensive and said was I asking her to get rid of the dog. I said no, but we could take measures such as a muzzle, or putting her in a seperate room when the children are there. She said that it wasnt her dogs fault, but my DD fault, and I agreed but pointed out that she was correct, but that will not prevent it from happening again, and that is our job as a responsible parent and a responsible dog owner. She said that she was responsible and she was very sorry that it had happened , I said that that wopuld not prevent it happening again and that is all I am trying to ensure.

She just rang and said to my husband that she is taking her to the blue cross tomorrow to be rehomed and that she needs to me to help her do it. We are off there now for lunch, I am dreading it, know it will end in tears, i think she is over reacting and it isnt necessary. What do you girls think? Would really appreciate your input xx

avril, ANY dog would be expected to snap if he got jumped on!

i also wondered about clacketyclacks question.. does anybody know the answer? i put my dog away when we have guests (other than very close friends and fam) and i've been wondering if it makes him resent people?

I think my mother would react the same way as the OP's if I had asked her to deal with the 'problem'. It is something you need to resolve together. She needs to look after her dog and you need to look after your dd. It is both your problem and, imo, your suggesting ways for your mother to deal with it is no doubt why she has reacted the way she has.

It is not her responsiblity to ensure her dog puts up with badly behaved children! You said that your dd jumped on the dog. Now you are saying that your dd was already sitting on the sofa with the dog. Which is it? If the dog wasn't provoked to snap and snarl then I would be more concerned.

Rainbowinthesky - Yup I agree, sad and unnecesary.

MrsRhett - My parents keep their dog out when me or my sis visit with DCs, and TBH the dog seems relieved. She's old and doesn't really like the noise/excitement of toddlers, so I guess it depends on the dog.

Also, dog that attacked me was a friendly, family dog, brought up around kids, shouldn't have been a problem. I took a ball out of it's mouth and ignored it's snarling. As a 3yo, that was entirely my fault, and most dogs would not be blamed for its behaviour (as was decided by a court who didn't have it put down). HOWEVER, I nearly died, had to have extensive surgery and my family were all extremely traumatised. Just because it isn't the dogs fault it behaves like a dog doesn't mean we shouldn't take reasonable precautions to prevent accidents.

Thinker - I feel sorry for you. It must be hard to have you Mum make such a big decision and then feel like it's your fault. It really isn't. She has chosen to have the dog re-homed, you didn't even suggest it.

On the flipside, it will probably make your relationship with mum easier. My MiL has cats, and both DS and I are very allergic (almost to the point of anaphylaxia) but MiL does not want to re-home them and wouldn't even put them out when I used to visit. It means we don't visit, she has to come to us and/or meet us somewhere else. She hates it and is very resentful when we visit my parents. So as difficult as this is, at least once the dog is gone it will be over.

I think it was the grandmother who was sitting on the sofa, MolieO

But otherwise agree with everything you said

MrsRhettButler, my niece and nephew are horrified of dogs, especially my nephew. He won't come into my house unless my dog is locked in the yard. He has to be locked there so that dd2 cannot let him back in.

I make a point of going out into the yard every 15 mins or so and checking on the dog and taking him a treat so he knows he has not been forgotten about.

Dd2 is not even three yet, but she has learned if she jumps on our dog he will snap at her. She does not jump on him any more. She has also learnt not to approach him if he is resting but to shout him and let him come to her.

Does your mums dog have a crate/bed/safe space it can escape to if your dd is getting too much for him?

Agree with every one else. Rehoming the dog is unnecessary. It is your responsibility to teach your daughter how to behave in appropriate way around the dog.

MollieO - My mum was sat on the sofa, then the dog was next to her, my daughter was kind of dancing further along, she wasnt being naughty or threatening, and accidently, she lost her balance and stepped to the side and onto the dog. The dog jumped,and snarled and did a warning snap towards my daughter. Of course with hindsight I should not have let her near the dog but it was a family holiday in shared caravan and it just happened. Now I want to learn by the mistake, take heed of the dogs warning and manage things better. The daughter has been taught to respect the dog and give her a wide berth. We were all careful for the remainder of the holiday and it was fine. I raised my concerns with mum that now we go round and visit that however hard we try, in a busy house full of people,4 adults, 3 kids and a dog, it could happen again. What measures shall we take to ensure that it doesn`t. She then decided to rehome the dog.

I think you need to talk to her and make her understand that it is an issue that you both have a part to play in ensuring it doesn't happen again. It seems that your mother thinks it is totally her responsiblity and accordingly cannot or doesn't want to cope alone. If you work out something in which you share that then you may find that your mother doesn't feel the overwhelming need to rehome the dog.

If my mother was put in that situation she would see rehoming as the only option unless I demonstrated the alternatives.

No idea how old your mother is but ime the older parents become the more black and white things become and they lose sight of the middle ground.