to think it's sometimes ok for kids to have things they don't actually need?

[MrsWobbleTheWaitress]

I really get fed up with parent-bashing threads such as:

• AIBU to think that 6 year olds don't need a DS Lite?

• AIBU to think that 7 year olds don't need their own laptops?

and the latest:

• AIBU to think that children don't need an in car dvd player for short journeys?

Of course they don't bloody need them, but children also don't need their own bedroom but we try to arrange it for them if we can afford it, for instance.

Actually, come to think of it, how come it's ok for adults to have a load of superfluous crap and not be picked up for it?

AIBU to think that adults don't actually need tv? We used to manage without it before it was invented. Is this the end of the radio?

Is it not ok to have things just because they're fun?

agreed, i dont need a laptop and internet access yet i have it...

I was just thinking this today.

What's the biscuit for, monkey?

Completely agree.

It is lovely to be able to have things we don't need, but just want. As an adult I like it. Why should children be different.

Aren't the things we have because we want to just part of the luxuries of life?

Yes, it's ok to have some things just because they're fun.

But IMO it's not ok for kids (or adults) to have everything they want. It's not ok for kids to grow up without any awareness of cost and value. Or to think that material things are more important than time with families etc.

I don't think it is ok for 'adults to have a load of superfluous crap'. I think it's a very sad reflection of our society.

Not sure I needed the last (17) pair(s) of shoes I bought

'tis self explanatory non?

Your argument is circular.

Pozzled, I do agree with that. But if I choose to spend the spare £100 that I have one month on an in-car dvd player so that my children find car journeys more fun, and I find them less irritating (I haven't, btw - I don't have a spare £100 ), why would it be assumed that I'm indulging my children too much? Or if I buy my child a PAYG mobile phone because she wants one for her birthday?

I just hate the judginess of that sort of post, which spring up repeatedly. Superfluous crap is ok, so long as you don't feel you have a right to it, and as long as you understand it's place in your life.

I couldn't agree more op. I think children need limits just as much as adults and should not get everything they want.

But ime and the area I live in it is far more likely for adults to way to much superflous crap and for children to have very little because they don't need it says someone who has just had to buy the same trousers in a different colour because she already has all this season clothes .

Ah but don't you know that children aren't real human beings and therefore those rules don't apply to them. They don't need gadgets, nice clothes, chocolate or other nice food, anything other than water to drink etc etc anymore than we do but we are real people and it's therefore ok for us. Budget allowing, why shouldn't children have nice things? I buy DD nice things when I can but I'll also make damn sure she doesn't expect things all the time. There is a fine line. Maybe these people don't trust their own parenting?

MrsWobble I agree with what you're saying, that it's ok to treat your children (and like you would love a spare £100 to do so!)

I think the judgey threads are maybe because a lot of us know families where the kids seem to have every item they want e.g. several games consoles, laptop, mobiles etc etc. And it just doesn't seem healthy to have everything. A member of my family grew up expecting to have everything he asked for. When he reached adulthood and wasn't given things any more he started taking them.

So for me anyway, it's hard to separate those families, where DC are not being taught the place of materialistic stuff, from the families where it is seen as an extra luxury.

I think peer pressure has a lot to do with it. If you ds is the only one in his class without a DS then they may not actually need one but may feel excluded if they don't have one. I remember reading a thread on here a long time ago by a mum worried about her ds feeling excluded because he didn't have a DS and being excluded from his peers and she couldn't afford to buy him one (he was older than 6 though!).

I wouldn't get my ds the latest whatever if I can help it. However if he was being excluded and bullied as a result I might lower my principles.

I parent the way I want to parent, if anybody does not agree with my parenting style then so be it! I parent my child, to my child individual needs.

My child is 4, he has numerous "inappropriate" gadgets for his age, but they are too his ability!, each child is different and has different likes, and abilities!

what was it that the government is always implementing today's world!

Every child MATTERS, they are not all the same and each have different abilities!

Hear hear LMH!

Now shall I get my 2yo an iPhone? She can work mine better than DH can

I also think problems arise when there is inequality within a family. Any families where the adults buy new clothes all the time, have the latest mobile, but DC don't have any treats, I would think there is something wrong. OTOH any family where children have a Nintendo DS, in-car DVD and the adults are struggling to get by- equally wrong. And some parents feel they need to put themselves second because children don't know the value of money and 'need' items which their friends have.

I agree. Though I was rather at the 8 year old girl in the King's Road MAC makeup shop today saying 'mummy can I have some Pro Longlash?'

I'm very interested in this. What level to set etc. I'm of opinion that big pressies are birthday/xmas and maybe something nice for end of school year if dd gets a good report from teacher.

But I want to buy a new wii game, or a new dvd. I don't particularly want to wait til Xmas....

My DH had his own computer by the age of 5 (back in the 70s), was writing programming languages from scratch a year later, was being paid for it by the age of 7 and is still a programmer/techie to this day. Funnily enough, my MIL gave short shrift to those who told her at the time that she was "spoiling" him ...

My DCs only have a hoop and a stick to play with.

I'm with the CrackFox...hoop and stick it is for my babes, as well!