to not want to coo over newborns.

[thequeenofdemocracynotbigotry]

it is a month since my 11th mc and I am feeling very fragile. a workmate who was a couple of weeks more pg than me when I had my 10th had a beautiful baby boy last month. I have kept in touch via FB but not seen her or the baby. I just dont know if I can hold it together. I had to leave mothercare a couple of weeks ago (shopping for neice with mil) because i was stuck in baby hell and felt like i was suffocating. looking at new babies hurts. I know its daft and they havent taken my share of fertility, but i cant hellp it.

she came into the shop yesterday with her ds. everyone ran over and was cooing and holding him. i couldnt even say hello. in fact i hid in the back-up fridge til she was gone. another friend asked where i was, did i see them? how cute he is... etc. i made some non-comittal noises but now i feel bad for not saying hello. should i message her and explain? was i being a bitch?

YANBU - sucks don't it? i couldn't face mothercare until i had a baby myself (and that was after a mere two pregnancies gone wrong)

i think it is entirely understandable for you to want to avoid newborns because of the affect it has on you.

YA absolutely NBU

You poor love. It is so difficult for anyone for whom pregnancy and childbirth come easy to understand and of course they want to show off their babies.

However there will be enough cooing without you having too.

After my little boy was born sleeping I couldnt even hear about a pregnancy or birth

(((((())))))

Oh you are not bu how awful for you, i have suffered with fertility problems for years and probably would have done the same, dont worry about this and concentrate on yourself, a true friend will understand xx

YANBU at all and so sorry to hear about your loss.

Whilst I do have my DD and am very grateful, we both had a terrible time when she was born and she has been left with lasting difficulties.

I also find it very difficult to coo over babies or to talk about birth/babies even with friends.

YANBU,
My DB and sis-in-law recently discovered they can only hope to have a baby through assisted conception. Before going to a family lunch last week I rang to check they would be ok with my DC's being there and to reassure that I would not be upset if they did not want to hold DC3.

In this situation I am strongly reminded how lucky I am to have 3 healthy DC's.

Hope you get some hope and help from your appointment.

YANBU at all, not ever.

Sometimes I cant bear to be around teenage girls. I cant drive past a school at kicking out time or go to the Mall on a Saturday morning, or listen to friends and family talk about their girls going to university or having boyfriends.

Sometimes I cannot even look at my nieces.

Its not my fault and its not yours either. Its painful and why should you subject yourself to such horrible pain and have to hide it?

I am so sorry for your terrible losses.

Your reaction was completly understandable, and in no way unresonable.
Be gentle to yourself, as your pain is palable, tender and raw.

thank you all so much. there are just times when i loathe the person that this has turned me into. I am very bitter and cant bear to be around young babies. we have ds so are luckier than many and i feel guilty for wanting another dc so badly. but when i (frequently) decide its time to give up (hah) i feel guilty, as if i am letting everyone (includin g lost beans) down.