to feel that if I cringe any harder, my head might retract into my neck like a tortoise.

[Psammead]

Long story short - we just moved into a new house in a new town and have a new baby. And no friends...

... and one of the stepford wives slightly standoffish mums from the mother, baby toddler group that I attended this week for the first time caught me in my shabby PJs, hair in plaits (with sticky up wispy bits from the nighttime), and slippers, wielding a mop. We have no nets yet in one half of our living room and the cat keeps making muddy paw prints on the floor.

She walked past. I tried to hide. She saw me through the window and waited for me to come out from behind the book shelf. Had to open the French windows to talk to her (don't even remember what I said, it's all a haze). I realized half way through the conversation that my pyjama top was still partly unbuttoned from where I had fed DD. Mor-ti-fied.

Fuckity fuckity fuck. She's going to tell all the other mums. I could tell by the way she walked away.

Do I stand a hope in hell of ever being able to show my face in this group again? I'd like to think I would be able to laugh it off, but I'd always be suspicious that they are picturing me in my PJs.

I'm pretty sure they wear PJ's in their own homes. You were in your own home.

Do not waste valuable glycogen stores by tensing up your neck muscles.

Why does bold not work. Nrghrrrrrr.

She's probably thinking back to when she had a new baby and was in the same haze, and thinking of you with sympathy. If she was that standoffish, she wouldn't have waited to speak to you - you are overthinking it a bit I think

You need to bold each individual word.

True though, it's true. I was in my own home.

My hair was in Heidi-esque plaits though. And she smirked when I said (rather unnecessarily) 'oh, I am wearing my pyjamas. How embarrassing.'

She sounds nice, not stepford-wife. She stopped to talk to you. And it's really not news that someone is not fully groomed in their own home.

Er, what exactly is she going to tell the other mums? That you were wearing pyjamas? That you were mopping the floor? None of us like being caught looking a mess but it's pretty poor gossip.

Tbh I find her behaviour rude, she peered though your window then waited for you to open a window and speak to her? what was she doing looking in your window in the first place?

Very funny.

You were doing housework! And had been breastfeeding! You are a goddess!

Invite Stepford Wives nice ladies to yours for afternoon tea. Buy nice cakes make lovely sponge, put face on, plump sofa cushions, drug feed pfb in advance so all relaxed, et voila; social standing saved!

Plaits look nice, especially on mothers with new born babies (goes with that 'I need it out of the way but it is still thick and bouncy after pg' vibe). Don't worry!

DontCallMeBaby I think I love you.

ifancyashandy good thinking! I might invite said woman in tomorrow for a coffee. I remember her saying that she walks past every day and had been wondering who lives here. And I'll make sure I'm impeccably well-groomed.

I am going to choose to believe that the rest of you are correct and that she was being nice and thinking sympathetic thoughts.

I swear to god she was trying not to laugh though.

dress up for the next group.....the other mums will think she was exagerrating as you will look so glam you couldnt possibly ever look a mess!

You care about this?

Heisi-esque plaits, pyjama top unbuttoned... that sounds kind of hot, IMHO. Perhaps she has a hidden agenda.

I think you may be worrying unnecessarily. She may be perfectly nice. She may be a mass of insecurities masquerading behind a well-groomed exterior. You just don't know.

i don't understand the problem tbh?

so you have a new baby and you were in your pjs in your own home and actually being energetic anough to mop.... how is that embarressing?

I've seen a fair few of my neighbours in their pjs and a few have knocked on my door when i've been dressed for bed, never gave it a second thought.

Really? So quite a few people really don't care about being seen in their PJs, hair a mess etc?

I'm surprised. I'm not vain, but I don't like being seen like that. Well, the thread's been an eye-opener if nothing else!

Snobear4000 that made me laugh. Maybe if I were Cameron Diaz or something, but I am really really not!!

well if i were you i'd be SMUG.

even with a baby, you still mop floors. no flies on you oh no. she's probably thinking about the dust balls lurking behind her living room door and realising that she couldn't possibly have you round for a coffee, her house is far too manky.

I understand, I would feel the same but the other posters are right, maybe it's our issue

I had to answer the door to a delivery man this morning and I was explaining why I was not dressed yet. He would not make eye contact and probably thought I was slightly mad/coming onto him.

Thinking about it he looked v uncomfortable so I am guessing me telling him I was just about to have a bath whilst trying to keep my dressing gown round my heavily pregnant parts and pieces scared the life out of him.

This happens to me all the bloody time because I am lazy busy. No, OK, I am lazy! Stuff it, I look fabulous when I go outside my front door and if you are going to pop round unannounced that neither me nor my home will look perfect! C'est la vie!

I am vain, which means I usually have my hair in some sort of roll/plait/body increasing stylee and I often have spot cream highlighting any flaws. Make up comes off as soon as I walk in the door and I just prefer 'loungewear'! I also work out at home nearly every day and someone ALWAYS catches me doing it - for a while there all my friends thought I had the most amazing sex life as I kept opening the door red faced and sweaty!

You were breastfeeding and doing housework. Absolutely no same, no need to cringe!

Soon you won't give a fuck what they think - ans actually among them you will probably find some friends. So go back to toddler group looking good and have a laugh about the pyjama thing. They will have similar stories.

Sure, it's embarrassing. I suppose I was questioning your assumption that she would judge you. Maybe you've judged her and her "stepford wives" friends.

But I haven't met them, so I don't know

She was probably jealous that you could confidently pull off the PJ's,plaits look.You are fabulous lady!Get the lippy on,Apple tart in and get them round for coffee.
(if she really is a smug cow,just remember that you can change your jim-jams,wash your hair,slap on your full face,but she'll always be a bitch!!!)

Fuckity fuckity fuck. She's going to tell all the other mums. I could tell by the way she walked away.

Just wondering how you could tell that. Was she bellowing loudly "Margot, you'll never guess what I've seen?" as she retreated

Best way to make new friends is to flash your boobs through the french windows whilst dancing round a mop....works for me!

If she was standoffish, she wouldn't have chatted to you, and CERTAINLY would have walked off once she realised your jammies were undone. Sounds, to me that she was trying to make friends with you, actually, but you have hazed yourself with panic!

Go talk to her next time you see it and jokily apologise for flashing.